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Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane
Ten of RhyDin's Most Popular Dueling Callers! April 2, 2010
Dear RhyDin:
Hello! How are you? I am fine. How are Marge and Midge" Has Uncle Walter's digestive problem let up yet' How's Panther's business" Is he eyeballs-deep in debt yet' Has Rekah started wearing shoes again? Do you think Shadow is just dating Darcy for her looks" (Come on! It's painfully obvious!) Is Aaron still talking in nothing but innuendos" Have Scotty and Harold sent us wedding pictures yet' Is Kazzy free for lunch on Friday"
Oh, here's a question.
Why the CRAP are you all obsessed with bloodying each other up"!
Depending on what kind of anatomy you have, chances are your body was not built for brutality. They why, RhyDin, why do you insist on breaking the noses of our hottest men and bruising and cutting up our sexiest women" I get it. Dueling is popular, there for the challenge, blah, blah, blah' But RhyDin, how can you possibly live with yourself after attacking someone like Carley in a ring" Carley! For Pete's sakes!
When I was given this assignment, I have to admit, I was a little bit bored. Sports were never my thing; especially ones that inflict pain. But after doing this research, I have a newfound respect for the people who have to sit down and watch this bloodshed day after day. I cringe at the thought of what they might dream about!
Without further ado, RhyDin's Most Popular Callers*, in no particular order. ENABLERS! ALL OF YOU!
Women's Division:
Ahni Oh, RhyDin" if you thought Carley was cute, you really need to get out more often! This city is just buzzing with precious gems to uncover, and Ahni happens to be one of them. This charming caller, we hear, spends most of her time on some kind of space ship" freighter" thingy, which explains why her head sometimes seems to be a little bit in the clouds! Don't think for one second that interferes with her refereeing, though - this precious half elf is quick, accurate, and fair with her calls; not to mention, her commentary is absolutely precious! Someone, please bring her sweets for her sweetness. We're already experiencing a toothache!
Wyh What is the Annex on a Sunday night without Wyheree Ravenlock" We're not sure exactly, but one thing is for certain; it is likely lacking in some amount of charm or class. We've said it before, and we'll say it again. Wyh is absolutely the epitome of refinement! And by some miracle, she manages to channel that into her calling efforts. How you can make gutting someone elegant, we're not exactly sure, but somehow Wyh does it! She's sweet, she's poised, she's polite, and she knows her way around a blade. Watch out, guys. This femme is daaaaaaangerous!
Misty What did Menaul say about cats" Something about how they have too much spirit to have no heart' Well RhyDin, we assure you that Misty has more than enough heart and spirit to fill all three sports of dueling. Though her energy dipped for a couple of days there (no word on what happened to her; we hope everything is O.K.!), we're glad to see that Misty is back and bringing her ridiculously energetic and enthusiastic self back to the caller's couch to do some serious cat-calling" we mean' calling! But it's by a cat-like person, so that makes it' get it' I'm funny, I swear I am. Long story short, though Misty seems to struggle sometimes with over-pluralization, she is without a doubt a capable caller that makes vets and newcomers feel at home!
Dioxane Raaaaawr! If this woman weren't so utterly sexified, we wouldn't be able to take her seriously. Then again, some of the things that come out of her mouth make it almost impossible to! Word on the street' er" in the Arena and stuff" is that Dioxane rivals Imp in comical commentary. Now even a fool would have to admit that is saying something! She balances it out with cool factor, though, and wherever she goes, she undoubtedly makes a boom. No, seriously. She really does. A sonic one.
Topaz Unless you've been living under a rock for the past few" uh' years, you've heard of the Duel of Magic's Coordinator, Topaz. At Mage Emeritus and having held a position at Archmage multiple times, yeah, you're well within your boundaries to be terrified of her. Despite her ridiculous powers, though, we hear Topaz is actually very gracious and polite when it comes to her calling shifts. Not to mention that, but she's also a machine. Sources tell us that she juggles three, sometimes four duels at a time, and is constantly planning more tournaments. If it were up to me, I would deem her the Superwoman of callers, but then again, an Archmage could probably kick the butt of Superwoman any day, so' Keep on rockin", Topaz!
Men's Division:
Porthos No, you didn't stumble into a portal that dropped you in mid-17th century France. Or maybe you did, in which case, could you bring us back a good bottle of Muscadet' Thanks; we'd appreciate it! But in truth, we wouldn't blame you if you found yourself donning a wig and shouting "Vive la r"volution!" to clueless passers by during one of this fellow's shifts. Porthos certainly makes a name for himself in the ranks of dueling callers with his signature boundless energy, his unconventional French discourse, and yes, naturellement, his uncanny ability to make all the women around him swoon and faint. What is it about the French language" Maybe I should actually consider taking some lessons, because I swear, these women throw themselves at him! You can't have them all, diable!
Dris For a minute, we were a little scared Dris wasn't going to be able to make our list! Apparently, he's been M.I.A. for some secret reason. We're willing to bet it has something to do with an extra-long honeymoon with his new beau, Icarus. Seriously. Who here doesn't think Dris is a little bit of a hedonist' All who disagree, please raise their hands. Yeah. That's what we thought! Anyway! Thankfully, Dris is back and taking the sports arenas by STORM with his entertaining commentary, his cheeky disregard for all forms of propriety, and believe it or not, his amiability for both dueling vets and newcomers. Dris is anything but selective, and is one of the few who sits there and encourages those new to the sport to get their butts off the bench and give the bloodletting a go. Who'd have thought' Dris" A total nice guy' Pffff! Yeah, right!
Sai You want the brutal truth' Here is the brutal truth. We had a terrible feeling that if Sai didn't make it onto our list, lots of kicking, screaming, obnoxious insults, and complaining would ensue" all from the same man. Kidding aside, Sai is actually a pretty accurate caller, and whether or not he's popular, he certainly makes it onto our list for the sheer quantity of matches he has been calling lately. We have to ask though' dude. What's with the megaphone" Do you have any idea how good the acoustics in the Arena are" Seriously. We think it's a power trip. Oh, by the way, we also hear he tends to ignore duels after a few null rounds. Yep. Total power trip.
Tass Undoubtedly, Tass is one of those few men shuffling around RhyDin that women, for some bizarre reason, will let him grope and salivate on from here to kingdom come. Maybe it's his" uh' old" man' ish charm' We do have to admit he's quite charming, and when he puts on the uniform, Tass is alllllll business. We get it. There's some appeal in that, no doubt. His calls are quick, his assessments are succinct and accurate, and wouldn't ya know it, he manages to keep his harassment outside of the rings. That's all we can ask for, really!
Imp Now RhyDin, you know we were going to include Imp on our list. Folks, Imp makes what Tass get away with look like it belongs in a Disney movie. Maybe women in this town are just into little blue men" With sarcastic ring names like "Bleed" and obnoxiously comical match accounts, Imp doubtlessly tops off the popularity charts by at least ten to one (ten being the other callers that we didn't have the privilege of mentioning here!). We also hear he's kicking up quite the hilarity over this whole Overlord thing, and we honestly can't wait to see how it pans out. One more thing, though. We see people walking all over with this I Heart Imp paraphernalia. Where can we get some"!
*Note: Only active to relatively active callers were considered for this list.
Ten of RhyDin's Most Popular Dueling Callers! April 2, 2010
Dear RhyDin:
Hello! How are you? I am fine. How are Marge and Midge" Has Uncle Walter's digestive problem let up yet' How's Panther's business" Is he eyeballs-deep in debt yet' Has Rekah started wearing shoes again? Do you think Shadow is just dating Darcy for her looks" (Come on! It's painfully obvious!) Is Aaron still talking in nothing but innuendos" Have Scotty and Harold sent us wedding pictures yet' Is Kazzy free for lunch on Friday"
Oh, here's a question.
Why the CRAP are you all obsessed with bloodying each other up"!
Depending on what kind of anatomy you have, chances are your body was not built for brutality. They why, RhyDin, why do you insist on breaking the noses of our hottest men and bruising and cutting up our sexiest women" I get it. Dueling is popular, there for the challenge, blah, blah, blah' But RhyDin, how can you possibly live with yourself after attacking someone like Carley in a ring" Carley! For Pete's sakes!
When I was given this assignment, I have to admit, I was a little bit bored. Sports were never my thing; especially ones that inflict pain. But after doing this research, I have a newfound respect for the people who have to sit down and watch this bloodshed day after day. I cringe at the thought of what they might dream about!
Without further ado, RhyDin's Most Popular Callers*, in no particular order. ENABLERS! ALL OF YOU!
Women's Division:
Ahni Oh, RhyDin" if you thought Carley was cute, you really need to get out more often! This city is just buzzing with precious gems to uncover, and Ahni happens to be one of them. This charming caller, we hear, spends most of her time on some kind of space ship" freighter" thingy, which explains why her head sometimes seems to be a little bit in the clouds! Don't think for one second that interferes with her refereeing, though - this precious half elf is quick, accurate, and fair with her calls; not to mention, her commentary is absolutely precious! Someone, please bring her sweets for her sweetness. We're already experiencing a toothache!
Wyh What is the Annex on a Sunday night without Wyheree Ravenlock" We're not sure exactly, but one thing is for certain; it is likely lacking in some amount of charm or class. We've said it before, and we'll say it again. Wyh is absolutely the epitome of refinement! And by some miracle, she manages to channel that into her calling efforts. How you can make gutting someone elegant, we're not exactly sure, but somehow Wyh does it! She's sweet, she's poised, she's polite, and she knows her way around a blade. Watch out, guys. This femme is daaaaaaangerous!
Misty What did Menaul say about cats" Something about how they have too much spirit to have no heart' Well RhyDin, we assure you that Misty has more than enough heart and spirit to fill all three sports of dueling. Though her energy dipped for a couple of days there (no word on what happened to her; we hope everything is O.K.!), we're glad to see that Misty is back and bringing her ridiculously energetic and enthusiastic self back to the caller's couch to do some serious cat-calling" we mean' calling! But it's by a cat-like person, so that makes it' get it' I'm funny, I swear I am. Long story short, though Misty seems to struggle sometimes with over-pluralization, she is without a doubt a capable caller that makes vets and newcomers feel at home!
Dioxane Raaaaawr! If this woman weren't so utterly sexified, we wouldn't be able to take her seriously. Then again, some of the things that come out of her mouth make it almost impossible to! Word on the street' er" in the Arena and stuff" is that Dioxane rivals Imp in comical commentary. Now even a fool would have to admit that is saying something! She balances it out with cool factor, though, and wherever she goes, she undoubtedly makes a boom. No, seriously. She really does. A sonic one.
Topaz Unless you've been living under a rock for the past few" uh' years, you've heard of the Duel of Magic's Coordinator, Topaz. At Mage Emeritus and having held a position at Archmage multiple times, yeah, you're well within your boundaries to be terrified of her. Despite her ridiculous powers, though, we hear Topaz is actually very gracious and polite when it comes to her calling shifts. Not to mention that, but she's also a machine. Sources tell us that she juggles three, sometimes four duels at a time, and is constantly planning more tournaments. If it were up to me, I would deem her the Superwoman of callers, but then again, an Archmage could probably kick the butt of Superwoman any day, so' Keep on rockin", Topaz!
Men's Division:
Porthos No, you didn't stumble into a portal that dropped you in mid-17th century France. Or maybe you did, in which case, could you bring us back a good bottle of Muscadet' Thanks; we'd appreciate it! But in truth, we wouldn't blame you if you found yourself donning a wig and shouting "Vive la r"volution!" to clueless passers by during one of this fellow's shifts. Porthos certainly makes a name for himself in the ranks of dueling callers with his signature boundless energy, his unconventional French discourse, and yes, naturellement, his uncanny ability to make all the women around him swoon and faint. What is it about the French language" Maybe I should actually consider taking some lessons, because I swear, these women throw themselves at him! You can't have them all, diable!
Dris For a minute, we were a little scared Dris wasn't going to be able to make our list! Apparently, he's been M.I.A. for some secret reason. We're willing to bet it has something to do with an extra-long honeymoon with his new beau, Icarus. Seriously. Who here doesn't think Dris is a little bit of a hedonist' All who disagree, please raise their hands. Yeah. That's what we thought! Anyway! Thankfully, Dris is back and taking the sports arenas by STORM with his entertaining commentary, his cheeky disregard for all forms of propriety, and believe it or not, his amiability for both dueling vets and newcomers. Dris is anything but selective, and is one of the few who sits there and encourages those new to the sport to get their butts off the bench and give the bloodletting a go. Who'd have thought' Dris" A total nice guy' Pffff! Yeah, right!
Sai You want the brutal truth' Here is the brutal truth. We had a terrible feeling that if Sai didn't make it onto our list, lots of kicking, screaming, obnoxious insults, and complaining would ensue" all from the same man. Kidding aside, Sai is actually a pretty accurate caller, and whether or not he's popular, he certainly makes it onto our list for the sheer quantity of matches he has been calling lately. We have to ask though' dude. What's with the megaphone" Do you have any idea how good the acoustics in the Arena are" Seriously. We think it's a power trip. Oh, by the way, we also hear he tends to ignore duels after a few null rounds. Yep. Total power trip.
Tass Undoubtedly, Tass is one of those few men shuffling around RhyDin that women, for some bizarre reason, will let him grope and salivate on from here to kingdom come. Maybe it's his" uh' old" man' ish charm' We do have to admit he's quite charming, and when he puts on the uniform, Tass is alllllll business. We get it. There's some appeal in that, no doubt. His calls are quick, his assessments are succinct and accurate, and wouldn't ya know it, he manages to keep his harassment outside of the rings. That's all we can ask for, really!
Imp Now RhyDin, you know we were going to include Imp on our list. Folks, Imp makes what Tass get away with look like it belongs in a Disney movie. Maybe women in this town are just into little blue men" With sarcastic ring names like "Bleed" and obnoxiously comical match accounts, Imp doubtlessly tops off the popularity charts by at least ten to one (ten being the other callers that we didn't have the privilege of mentioning here!). We also hear he's kicking up quite the hilarity over this whole Overlord thing, and we honestly can't wait to see how it pans out. One more thing, though. We see people walking all over with this I Heart Imp paraphernalia. Where can we get some"!
*Note: Only active to relatively active callers were considered for this list.