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Blog Journalist: Henry Devine
New Album Available from the Ded-Heads!
July 6, 2014
Listen to their brand new single, "The Matt Simon Song," on the radio today! The Ded-Heads' new album, Murder Management, goes on sale Friday!
The Market's in the news again with another bomb attack,
Or it's hurricanes or aliens, or some other random crap,
So let's spam the RhyDin papers, spread plague and doom and dread,
And none of it will end, of course, until Matt Simon's dead.
Oooooh-ooooh. It won't ever end "till Simon's dead.
Burning down his business was a stupid friggin" trick,
Because the bastard just threw money and magically it fixed, (GAH),
Shooting him is useless since you can't hit his big fat head,
So cut the friggin" crap, you people, we want Matt Simon dead.
Oooooh-ooooh. We're sick of handsome bastards; kill him dead.
You had two YEARS to kill him; you knew exactly where he'd be,
His name was on the (WEAK-ASS) door, right below "R.A.S.G.,"
He had JET FUEL in his back yard, plane blueprints beside the bed,
IT DOESN"T TAKE MUCH SABOTAGE TO PAINT THAT BASTARD RED.
Oooooh-ooooh. If he's so old, why's Simon still not dead"
He's slow, and yet you missed when you tried to stab him in the back, (TWICE!),
He's had Opals, he's had diamonds, but his skull's not hard to crack,
So we're sick of your excuses; we're on to grander schemes.
We'll bloody this slow bastard until we haunt his effing dreams,
We'll glue his ears to radios, and Bieber "till they bleed,
We'll pack his pants with flaming ants (the Tower's native breed),
We'll cram an Opal in his mouth and knock out all his teeth,
We'll play Tic-Tac-Toe with swords on Styx and place him underneath,
WE"LL BLOW APART THE CITY AND TURN HIS ENTRAILS INTO ASH,
THEN WE"LL VAPORIZE THE PLANET, THEN THROW ITS ATOMS IN THE TRASH.
(Incoherent shrieks; maniacal laughter)
And then all life will be gone; and there's only blackness in your head.
But it wouldn't be if you bastards would have just DONE WHAT WE HAD SAID.
But you're useless friggin? idiots, so we'll tell you this instead:
You can enjoy your life (REALLY, ENJOY IT!)
Because we'll see you all in hell when Simon's dead.
