Topic: Attractive Realtor Defies Stereotype

Darien Fenner

Date: 2010-02-11 15:34 EST
http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/Smilingwomanwithcrossedarmsuid11-1.jpg Amelia Enderwood: Satirist

Attractive Realtor Defies Stereotype; Local dropout considering beginning to think about finally getting a job February 11, 2010

Realty isn't just for desperate single moms craving artificial recognition anymore.

The flashiness of business cards scattered around RhyDin today, featuring one of the Post's Top Ten Hottest New Women to Watch, Fiora Shantalaine, convinced local college dropout Emma Zimman, 29, to put one into her pocket.

The card promises that, "Whether ye're lookin" for a house, a hovel, an apartment, a castle, a hut, a mansion, a lair, a dungeon, a lab, or a cave - I'm Yer Girl."

Zimman praised the relatable flair of the card forced by transplanting a written accent into the ad.

"It makes me think that she's ordinary like the rest of us. Yeah, alright, I'll take this home," exclaimed Zimman tediously.

Added Zimman: "I thought that real estate was for needy old people. This Fiora is rewriting the entire industry."

Upon arriving home, Zimman aimlessly perused real estate ads and became vaguely inspired to take a community class.

"I originally came to RhyDin for hotel management," explained Zimman of her current situation. "I thought it would be awesome to have my own desk, my own phone, and somewhere I could hang up pictures of my extended family to look important. I had no idea there was so much thinking involved."

According to Zimman, the promise of making one's own hours caught her attention in this particular industry.

"A lot of the classes I took involved getting up early, or you know" doing homework. I was diagnosed with Concentration Apathy Condition' which means there is supposedly a clinical reason why I get bored and do other things when I should be studying."

Though she graduated from high school with a C average, Zimman claims to have "aced" her subsequent 32-hour real-estate pre-licensing course at West End Community College in RhyDin with a solid B-.

"In no time at all, I'll be rolling in the dough," declared Zimman excitedly, holding her Xeroxed copy of her course conclusion certificate. "I already took a loan out and bought three pairs of designer shoes, two suits, a leather briefcase, and am looking into getting a convertible. Have to keep up appearances, you know" No one is going to want to buy houses from me in those boxy realtor blazers.?

Of the actual realty certification test, Zimman claims she'll get to taking it eventually.

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