- Roll footage Round 1. FL/JB 1-0 Matthews.-
Matthews: Her knee goes to his gut as she swings his wrist around and tosses him on up.
Sartan: Sends a lazy attempt at a shove towards Sarah and promptly gets deposited on his back.
Peter: Now there's a truly excellent way of starting out a match.
Chris: Excellent' He was a little slow coming out of the gates there, Pete. Matthews was quick to show him she isn't just a pretty face. Get on your game, man! Sluggishly is no way to fight a match.
- End footage Round 1. Roll footage, Round 2 and 3. JK/JK 1-0 Matthews; SnK/JB 1 All. -
Sartan: This attempt at a shove is less lazy than the first but is still only lightly directed at Sarah's shoulder.
Matthews: Snaps her leg up to pause. Hops back at the shove.
Chris: Oh, I get it, I get it. Sartan isn't into hitting women.
Peter: It took you this long to figure that out"
Chris: Lack of carbohydrates, Pete. My brain isn't functioning normally.
Peter: Really' With all the junk you ate before, then, you should have been a rocket scientist.
Chris: It's still on my to-do list. I do like how centered Sartan is here, though, even if he isn't exercising all of his potential.
Peter: I like how you used the word "centered," Chris. Because I'd like to point that out, if that's O.K. with everyone. Andrew" Can we get a close-up"
- Zoom in on a stillframe of Sartan's wind-up. Frame-by-frame, the viewer is guided through the execution of his attack. -
Peter: If you'll notice here, even though he isn't using that much force, all of the control still comes from his center.
Chris: What our friend Pete here means is, even when he half-a**es his attacks, he still comes off being a bad-a**.
Peter: Not quite. I only meant to point out that in an accomplished fighter, no matter how much force is exerted, the control should always come from the center of your frame.
Chris: Did you say flame" What are you cooking"
- End footage Round 3. Roll footage, Round 4. UC/FL 2-1 Matthews. -
Matthews: Warms up her arm annnnnddd flick right at the nose.
Sartan: "Hey hey." Jerking his head back. "No unprotected shots at the nose, thank you."
Chris: Didn't take much effort for her to get right in there, did it' Sartan, my man, I admire and appreciate you, but it's not like you to underestimate your opponent' even if she is a smokin' hot redhead.
Peter: You're just gunning for another sexual harassment lawsuit, Chris. But I'm going to disagree with you, there. Just because Sartan isn't using his full potential, it doesn't mean he's underestimating his opponent.
Chris: Like putting a sprinter on ice and telling him to run a marathon, huh"
Peter: Something like that. Although I wouldn't discount Matthews's talent, either. Maybe she's just quicker than she seems.
- End footage Round 4. Roll footage, Round 5. SW/JB 2 All. -
Matthews: Sweeps and flops.
Sartan: A quick step forward as his right hand again seeks to push Sarah away.
Chris: Oh I love seesaw matches like this! Keeps the anticipation high!
Peter: And there you have it, anyway. There is the Sartan we know and love, with extraordinarily accurate and precise footing that carries him in faster than the speed of gravity.
Chris: I'm telling you, Pete. If he doesn't have a sponsor, he needs one. This guy would be rooooolling in the dough in no time. " Mmmm' doughnuts"
- End footage Round 5. Roll footage, Round 6. SnK/FL 3-2 Matthews. -
Matthews: Brings her leg up and kick stopped short of his shoulder.
Sartan: An indecisive reach towards her presents an open target.
Peter: Speaking of control" that was a beautiful stop by Matthews. Perfectly balanced, too. She has an odd technique, though. She's a lot more rigid than other fighters I've seen....Although I'm not necessarily sure that's a bad thing.
Chris: Like a bundle of matchsticks, that one. She needs to eat a butter croissant.
Peter: Eating vicariously, now"
Chris: You have no idea. I'm a little more concerned about my man Sartan, though. What's it going to take to light a fire under this guy's a-uh' backside" Am I going to have to throw Ravenlock in a ring there with him"
Peter: - Low whistle. - Oh-ho' low blow, Chris. Low blow. You will get hell for that one, I'm sure.
Chris: All I'm saying is I'd like a little bit of enthusiasm. You don't participate in a sport because you have to. You do it because you want to!
- End footage Round 6. Roll footage, Round 7. JB/FaDU 3 All. -
Matthews: Jabs her fist out and swings overhead.
Sartan: Weaves his upper body to evade the punch, content to take a few steps away afterwards without any counter.
Chris: Speaking of low, though, down and up he goes like a spring! Man. That would have been the perfect opportunity for a counter, were he facing anyone else.
Peter: Quiet down and eat one of your sugar-free hard candies, Chris. Sartan is teaching us a very valuable lesson here - that you don't need brute strength in order to be an accomplished fighter.
Chris: I can't. They're all gone.
Peter: What is" The candy"
Chris: Yes.
Peter: Chris. I gave you a bag of sixty ten minutes ago.
Chris: I can't help it. They were maple-flavored. You know how I get about maple.
Peter: - Sighs. -
- End footage Round 7. Roll footage, Round 8. FAB/SW 4-3 Sartan. -
Sartan: Uses the flat of his shoe to essentially try and prod at Sarah's leg.
Matthews: Braces the wrong way.
Chris: About time we see a lead for this guy. I was beginning to worry.
Peter: I am very pleased with how quickly he caught that, though. It was almost a feint, you see"
Chris: Almost. Just goes to show you how far misdirection can go in a match like this. You throw your opponent off with the slightest look or gesture, and it can cost you not only a point, but a lead.
- End footage Round 8. Roll footage, Round 9. JK/SnK 4 All. -
Sartan: Once again tries to prod at Sarah, this time with much less success.
Matthews: Jumps her leg up and kicks out, breezing past him, but giving him a start.
Peter: Oh, wow! Matthews is getting more and more impressive, isn't she" She certainly has springs built into her knees. But again, we see that stiffness in her technique. I actually think it may work for her.
Chris: Mmummfff-rrr"
Peter: Chris" Stop chewing on your blazer.
Chris: Wool doesn't taste that bad, you know.
Peter: What do you think of that superb kick by Matthews"
Chris: She's quick and she's flighty. I'll give you that. But as much as I like sudden death, I'd like to see Sartan keep a better lead on his opponent.
Peter: So much for being unbiased. I think I'm going to stick with Matthews here. Sometimes the new talent is where your eyes should be.
- End footage Round 9. Roll footage, Round 10. FL/JB 5-4 Matthews. -
Matthews: Sends him on a spin and nearly faints. "Emerald, here I come."
Sartan: His attempt at another shove finds itself turned away and he flashes Sarah a quick smile. "Good win, I'll have to catch you again when you do hit Emerald."
Peter: High aspirations, I see! But with a bright new star, you never know!
- Camera returns to the studio, where Chris has acquired several bags and boxes of cookies, crackers, chips, pastries, and cold meats. He pulls a chocolate chip cookie out of a box, layers it with sliced ham, Cheez Whiz, marshmallow cr"me, and Teddi Grahams, then squishes it together with a cracker on top. He shoves the whole thing in his mouth. -
Peter: Chris" What are you doing"
Chris: Mmrrrhsruffffn.
Peter: I'm sorry. I don't speak junk food.
Chris: - Swallows and picks up the Cheez Whiz can, shaking it. - What's it look like? I'm eating my feelings.
Peter: Chris. It was one loss for Sartan. And you should be proud of how wonderfully Matthews did.
Chris: Easy for you to say. - Leans back in his chair, puts the nozzle in his mouth, and sprays Cheez Whiz directly onto his tongue. -
Peter: Well. I happen to think they both did extraordinarily well! An excellent fight, the both of you!
Chris: Nobody will please me like you do.
Peter: Thank you, Chris.
Chris: Not you, Pete. I was talking to this bear claw. - Shoves the entire doughnut in his mouth. -
Peter: Right' Well, folks! As always, thanks very much for tuning in with us tonight. And remember. If there is a fight that you'd like covered, or some words you'd like to share, don't hesitate to write us! We love hearing from you! So until next time, I'm Peter Pham!
Chris: And I'm still hungry.
Peter: You stay sporty, RhyDin!
- End tape. -
