http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/Smilingwomanwithcrossedarmsuid11-1.jpg
Amelia Enderwood: Satirist
Matt Simon Throws No Hard Feelings Party On Governor's Front Lawn August 12, 2013
*In a stunning act of sportsmanship, former Governor and 2013 gubernatorial candidate Matt Simon elected to host a "No Hard Feelings" party Saturday night on winner and new Governor Rekah Silverblades" front lawn.
What Simon described as the "party of the century' stretched on into the early hours of the morning, with all of RhyDin's elite in attendance. The guest list also included dozens of celebrities from neighboring star systems, featuring big names such as Aster Award winner Kara Milioni and Terran film star and renowned hunk Hugh Jackman.
During the event, Simon sang high praises of his competition and acknowledged her win as fair and well deserved.
"This party is really to honor how completely, absolutely OK I am with not winning the governorship," said Simon. "I think everyone ought to know that. No hard feelings or anything."
Governor Silverblades was reportedly not in attendance, as Simon claimed her invitation "must have been lost somewhere or something."
"It just really is too bad she can't be here," added Simon.
Local social experts assert the price of the festivities must have cost a small fortune, not including the diamond-crusted business cards Matt Simon handed out as party favors. Bouquets of money served as centerpieces, and money napkins and money bibs accompanied a four-course meal culminating in an assortment of rare and exotic cupcakes imported from all over the multiverse.
"We also have a snow cone machine," Simon mentioned.
Dubstep and techno tunes provided by DJ Galactos shook the ground and local house foundations well past four AM, and drowned out the hysterical crying of any infant twins that may have coincidentally been present nearby. The RhyDin Watch reports no complaints were filed, as several days previously Simon had in fact arranged for every family within a four-block radius to embark on a fully funded private vacation.
The music list, sources claim, may or may not have included songs that Silverblades reviles and has in the past refused to play while DJing at local events.
"Man, that was the greatest party in the history of parties," Simon told the Post Sunday morning. "It's just too bad couldn't attend."
Added Simon: "But seriously. No hard feelings."
*Some of the facts in the above article have been fabricated for the sake of satire.
Matt Simon Throws No Hard Feelings Party On Governor's Front Lawn August 12, 2013
*In a stunning act of sportsmanship, former Governor and 2013 gubernatorial candidate Matt Simon elected to host a "No Hard Feelings" party Saturday night on winner and new Governor Rekah Silverblades" front lawn.
What Simon described as the "party of the century' stretched on into the early hours of the morning, with all of RhyDin's elite in attendance. The guest list also included dozens of celebrities from neighboring star systems, featuring big names such as Aster Award winner Kara Milioni and Terran film star and renowned hunk Hugh Jackman.
During the event, Simon sang high praises of his competition and acknowledged her win as fair and well deserved.
"This party is really to honor how completely, absolutely OK I am with not winning the governorship," said Simon. "I think everyone ought to know that. No hard feelings or anything."
Governor Silverblades was reportedly not in attendance, as Simon claimed her invitation "must have been lost somewhere or something."
"It just really is too bad she can't be here," added Simon.
Local social experts assert the price of the festivities must have cost a small fortune, not including the diamond-crusted business cards Matt Simon handed out as party favors. Bouquets of money served as centerpieces, and money napkins and money bibs accompanied a four-course meal culminating in an assortment of rare and exotic cupcakes imported from all over the multiverse.
"We also have a snow cone machine," Simon mentioned.
Dubstep and techno tunes provided by DJ Galactos shook the ground and local house foundations well past four AM, and drowned out the hysterical crying of any infant twins that may have coincidentally been present nearby. The RhyDin Watch reports no complaints were filed, as several days previously Simon had in fact arranged for every family within a four-block radius to embark on a fully funded private vacation.
The music list, sources claim, may or may not have included songs that Silverblades reviles and has in the past refused to play while DJing at local events.
"Man, that was the greatest party in the history of parties," Simon told the Post Sunday morning. "It's just too bad couldn't attend."
Added Simon: "But seriously. No hard feelings."
*Some of the facts in the above article have been fabricated for the sake of satire.