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Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane
Shameless Party Plugging: The Week in Review! September 18, 2011
Laaaaadieeeees and gentleeeeeeee" man. As another week passes and brings us closer and closer to Color Your City, I am afraid (actually, not so much. I'm more enthusiastic) that some more shameless plugging is in order for this event that will be happening on October eighth!
As I'm sure by now you know, this little shindig will be one heck of a dance and paint party. But what you don't know is how much work has gone into it so far, and where the effort truly lies. Folks" I'm generally not a selfless person. I admit it. Unlike other people in RhyDin who throw billions of dollars at things I like spending my own money on crap that I pretend I'll use at some point' like that ab zapping thing that your strap to your stomach while you watch TV. But despite being initially tricked into helping with it, this new RhyDin Placement Project has actually been a pretty rewarding project to get on board with " and not just because it's for a good cause. I have gotten the chance to work with some fabulous names in RhyDin during the development process " each who deserve a special shout-out. My boss tells me Fiora Shantalaine and Koyliak VanDuran-Simon each have been AWESOME in helping the Post launch this charity, and so far Wolvinator has been irreplaceable in helping lead the building and construction process. And from what I'm told, there are still many, many more who deserve credit. So if you guys see them around, be sure to give them wet sloppy kisses. (Seriously. Wet and sloppy or they don't count.)
Jeez. Magnanimous is not a good color on me. So at the risk of being mushy, let me also briefly and shamelessly plug our rave and paint party happening on the eighth. Pre-registration is still open for the paint war, so if you'd like to be on a particular team call the dudes at the office.
Oh, and I almost forgot to mention. Did you know that it won't just be me hosting this thing"
Believe it or not, high minister of hot misguided genius KAZZY HART will be co-hosting this thingamabob with the rest of us Post people, and from what I'm told Koy has been integral in the party planning process with us newspaper gremlins. Moreover, marshmallow cannon Rekah has also agreed to do some hardcore DJing, so watch out for her on the dance floor.
Interested yet' If you aren't, you truly are disturbed (not that that's such a big deal in RhyDin).
Enough plugging for now, though. The gossip this past week was JUICY!
First things first' Is it just me, or is Ella Insert Middle Name and Last Name rather mysterious" I mean, I know she always was mysterious, but this week she's seemed exceptionally so. Moreover, Ella's exceptional mysteriousness is only enhanced by the mysterious company she hangs around with " namely, some handsome bloke named Gavon who for as polite as he is has all the warmth and geniality of a badger with hemorrhoids. O.K., O.K., so that image might be a tad extreme. If the guy is alright in Ella's book, he should theoretically be alright in mine" for now. As usual, I reserve the right to change my mind on people here. It is my job, after all. So watch it!
In the words of Lirssa" UNHOLY FREAKIN" PETE. You people will never guess who was spotted in the Red Dragon Inn looking frighteningly fabulous: da co"kroach killa, Tara Rynieyn. The queen of all things heinous and horrific was seen doing some strutting about at the beginning of the week (or end, depending on how you look at it) and was apparently up in arms over Panther's new choice of furniture. In another world I might attempt to calmly explain that some furniture, when subjected to wear and tear or gunfire or explosions just needs to be replaced, but really, attempting to reason rationally with Tara is a lost cause. (Seriously. Just ask Grem.) From what I hear, some interesting experiences were had between Tara, Ebon, Lucien, and Issy as they considered vanquishing a snazzy new barcalounger. And by interesting, I mean absolutely everyone goading Tara on (yeah, hi Ebon) as she shrieked in terror at the thing. Ah well. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Satan himself could crawl out of a fiery chasm within the Inn and release a toxic gas that would kill everyone within a two block radius and Tara would very likely just wave and give him a cookie. But inventions for the infernally lazy' Fuhgetaboutit.
Special note: A letter from a fan also informs me that O.M.F.G. SINJIN FAI was around last week, but as the Fai is the Loch Ness monster of RhyDin and impossible to capture on film, we have no evidence. I will buy someone a YACHT if this rumor is substantiated.
Keep your eyes open for this one, folks: apparently Taneth (or a doppelganger of one) is a Jamaican bum. She was overheard speaking with an accent and smoking a suspicious-looking cigar. Irie mon. The instant she gets dreads, I'm running for the hills.
Lirssa has got to be the best duel recruiter I've ever seen. Not seconds after she was making rounds of the RDI trying to get people to come down to the duels did she have Bashir and Zahra ready to go down and get the snot beaten out of them (or at least the former. I'm sure Zahra could do some serious snot-beating). Being distantly related probably helped, but as Zahra pointed out, with Lirssa it is often easier just to nod and smile and go along with it " whatever it is. Lirssa could probably head up some chainsaw juggling intramurals and I guarantee that by the end of the week she'd have a good handful of people on board with it. MAN would she make an awesome team captain for our paint war at Color Your City! What would be her strategy, I wonder" On the other hand, Zahra's Bashir seems like a pretty capable dude. Fists aside, how exactly would he manage himself around flying neon pink and blue" Because from what my sources saw on Tuesday between Zahra and Yeardley, ZAHRA sure can handle glowing in the dark. Save it for the paint party, ladies!
Heeeeeeeeeyy. Remember nearly-naked guy who Mesteno was giving tattoos to a while back" Naked guy has a name: It's Ortnim. And against all odds, he is smoooooth with the ladies. Apparently even after naked Ortnim (who forever shall be referred to as naked Ortnim) showed his nakedness to the world, Yeardley and Zahra were still incredibly receptive to his compliments. Not that he was hitting on them exactly, but overall he seems just to have a way with women to where they are smiling and giggling after he utters three words. Do I have to have Mesteno draw on me, or is some timely streaking in order" Part with your methods, man. It's unfair to hog all the attention, no matter HOW many crunches it took for your abs to look like that. Though I'm willing to bet at least half of them are photoshopped on. I mean, really.
And SPEAKING of photoshopped naked people. My sources tell me that from what Siofra, Xera and Rhiannon were saying this random guy Jacen has a habit of stripping in public. Not that I am comparing naked dudes (which apparently I am), but Jacen's nakedness from what was overheard may be less careless nakedness and more douchey nakedness. Like that Lautner kid who is all: Oh, hey, I'm a teenager and have more muscles than you jerkwads, so let me take off my shirt at every opportune moment. (Seriously, girls. Please find better dudes to crush on.) Newsflash, guy: there is a time and there is not a time to strip and strike a pose. And until you figure out how to differentiate, you'll always be that thing that's nicer to look at than to take seriously. Then again, I could just be brutally jealous because the last time I pulled a Jacen and tried out the 'dig these pecs" line things kiiiiind of backfired. Memo to self: Women really tend to take things too literally in RhyDin.
From what I hear, endlessly end-dearingly sp-sputtering Mayu has snagged herself a honey! Or at least it looks that way from where I'm sitting. My sources tell me there have been definite sparks a-flying between that blue-green-haired bombshell and a cute thing named Martyr. In fact, more than once I've been told there have been some intimate moments had between those two. Pretty recently she and Martyr were even having a bit of a wrestling (read: torture) contest with their guy friend Toby. I don't know whether to be happy for or feel sorry for the dude in this case. More often than not, he's surrounded by two or three beautiful women who do everything in their power to keep him from third-wheeling. But on the other hand, being hopped on and shouted at to "mush' is" oh' only slightly emasculating. I get the big brother thing " I've even been there myself for a few friends of mine. But come on, ladies. Bros gotta look out for each other, so before you start breaking out the bridles, buy the poor guy a beer.
O.M.G. moment of the week! Who is this guy that was canoodling with Shy out on the porch Wednesday"! Like every other guy in RhyDin he is annoyingly tall and was probably raised on Tiger Milk. All in all, from pictures my sources could snap he was not that bad to look at. But more importantly, from what little we could see Shylah was girlishly giddy around him. Rrrrrowr. There is most assuredly something about Shy getting handsy that makes me wish I were a ship's captain, just so I could tell her, "Hey, baby, come on back to my harbor so I can show you my boat.? Ten points and a cookie to whoever gives me this dude's name so I can give him much needed kudos.
Depressing. Awkward Audrey has gotten her wish of becoming awkward. Maybe she's been spending too much time with Magenta or Arts, but these days she's always lost in thought or drinking enough to go off rambling nonsense. It's not her fault as far as we can tell; being creepy around creepy Arts is all part in parcel with the creepiness (not that Arts being creepy is bad, just....creepy). But I half expect Audrey to show up one day decked out in goth attire. That girl needs more color in her life these days. So at the risk of plugging our event YET AGAIN, I've just gotta say gee whiz, Awkward Audrey, it'd sure be nice to see ya spattered with paint and gorging yourself on candy like the old days.
Would you believe it, fun things do happen in the Annex! From what I'm told Toby (not manslave Toby mentioned earlier. Different Toby) and Wyh got the chance to catch up on old times during a bloodthirsty match of bloodiness and wound up leaving together. Now I'm not one to question what may or may not have happened with Wyh and Roran, or whether this Toby has got a family of his own somewhere, but the two of them looked awwwwfully familiar. All's I'm saying is Wyh is pretty freaking gorgeous, and there ain't no such thing as innocent banter in RhyDin!
That's all for now, RhyDin! You stay sassy!
Shameless Party Plugging: The Week in Review! September 18, 2011
Laaaaadieeeees and gentleeeeeeee" man. As another week passes and brings us closer and closer to Color Your City, I am afraid (actually, not so much. I'm more enthusiastic) that some more shameless plugging is in order for this event that will be happening on October eighth!
As I'm sure by now you know, this little shindig will be one heck of a dance and paint party. But what you don't know is how much work has gone into it so far, and where the effort truly lies. Folks" I'm generally not a selfless person. I admit it. Unlike other people in RhyDin who throw billions of dollars at things I like spending my own money on crap that I pretend I'll use at some point' like that ab zapping thing that your strap to your stomach while you watch TV. But despite being initially tricked into helping with it, this new RhyDin Placement Project has actually been a pretty rewarding project to get on board with " and not just because it's for a good cause. I have gotten the chance to work with some fabulous names in RhyDin during the development process " each who deserve a special shout-out. My boss tells me Fiora Shantalaine and Koyliak VanDuran-Simon each have been AWESOME in helping the Post launch this charity, and so far Wolvinator has been irreplaceable in helping lead the building and construction process. And from what I'm told, there are still many, many more who deserve credit. So if you guys see them around, be sure to give them wet sloppy kisses. (Seriously. Wet and sloppy or they don't count.)
Jeez. Magnanimous is not a good color on me. So at the risk of being mushy, let me also briefly and shamelessly plug our rave and paint party happening on the eighth. Pre-registration is still open for the paint war, so if you'd like to be on a particular team call the dudes at the office.
Oh, and I almost forgot to mention. Did you know that it won't just be me hosting this thing"
Believe it or not, high minister of hot misguided genius KAZZY HART will be co-hosting this thingamabob with the rest of us Post people, and from what I'm told Koy has been integral in the party planning process with us newspaper gremlins. Moreover, marshmallow cannon Rekah has also agreed to do some hardcore DJing, so watch out for her on the dance floor.
Interested yet' If you aren't, you truly are disturbed (not that that's such a big deal in RhyDin).
Enough plugging for now, though. The gossip this past week was JUICY!
First things first' Is it just me, or is Ella Insert Middle Name and Last Name rather mysterious" I mean, I know she always was mysterious, but this week she's seemed exceptionally so. Moreover, Ella's exceptional mysteriousness is only enhanced by the mysterious company she hangs around with " namely, some handsome bloke named Gavon who for as polite as he is has all the warmth and geniality of a badger with hemorrhoids. O.K., O.K., so that image might be a tad extreme. If the guy is alright in Ella's book, he should theoretically be alright in mine" for now. As usual, I reserve the right to change my mind on people here. It is my job, after all. So watch it!
In the words of Lirssa" UNHOLY FREAKIN" PETE. You people will never guess who was spotted in the Red Dragon Inn looking frighteningly fabulous: da co"kroach killa, Tara Rynieyn. The queen of all things heinous and horrific was seen doing some strutting about at the beginning of the week (or end, depending on how you look at it) and was apparently up in arms over Panther's new choice of furniture. In another world I might attempt to calmly explain that some furniture, when subjected to wear and tear or gunfire or explosions just needs to be replaced, but really, attempting to reason rationally with Tara is a lost cause. (Seriously. Just ask Grem.) From what I hear, some interesting experiences were had between Tara, Ebon, Lucien, and Issy as they considered vanquishing a snazzy new barcalounger. And by interesting, I mean absolutely everyone goading Tara on (yeah, hi Ebon) as she shrieked in terror at the thing. Ah well. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Satan himself could crawl out of a fiery chasm within the Inn and release a toxic gas that would kill everyone within a two block radius and Tara would very likely just wave and give him a cookie. But inventions for the infernally lazy' Fuhgetaboutit.
Special note: A letter from a fan also informs me that O.M.F.G. SINJIN FAI was around last week, but as the Fai is the Loch Ness monster of RhyDin and impossible to capture on film, we have no evidence. I will buy someone a YACHT if this rumor is substantiated.
Keep your eyes open for this one, folks: apparently Taneth (or a doppelganger of one) is a Jamaican bum. She was overheard speaking with an accent and smoking a suspicious-looking cigar. Irie mon. The instant she gets dreads, I'm running for the hills.
Lirssa has got to be the best duel recruiter I've ever seen. Not seconds after she was making rounds of the RDI trying to get people to come down to the duels did she have Bashir and Zahra ready to go down and get the snot beaten out of them (or at least the former. I'm sure Zahra could do some serious snot-beating). Being distantly related probably helped, but as Zahra pointed out, with Lirssa it is often easier just to nod and smile and go along with it " whatever it is. Lirssa could probably head up some chainsaw juggling intramurals and I guarantee that by the end of the week she'd have a good handful of people on board with it. MAN would she make an awesome team captain for our paint war at Color Your City! What would be her strategy, I wonder" On the other hand, Zahra's Bashir seems like a pretty capable dude. Fists aside, how exactly would he manage himself around flying neon pink and blue" Because from what my sources saw on Tuesday between Zahra and Yeardley, ZAHRA sure can handle glowing in the dark. Save it for the paint party, ladies!
Heeeeeeeeeyy. Remember nearly-naked guy who Mesteno was giving tattoos to a while back" Naked guy has a name: It's Ortnim. And against all odds, he is smoooooth with the ladies. Apparently even after naked Ortnim (who forever shall be referred to as naked Ortnim) showed his nakedness to the world, Yeardley and Zahra were still incredibly receptive to his compliments. Not that he was hitting on them exactly, but overall he seems just to have a way with women to where they are smiling and giggling after he utters three words. Do I have to have Mesteno draw on me, or is some timely streaking in order" Part with your methods, man. It's unfair to hog all the attention, no matter HOW many crunches it took for your abs to look like that. Though I'm willing to bet at least half of them are photoshopped on. I mean, really.
And SPEAKING of photoshopped naked people. My sources tell me that from what Siofra, Xera and Rhiannon were saying this random guy Jacen has a habit of stripping in public. Not that I am comparing naked dudes (which apparently I am), but Jacen's nakedness from what was overheard may be less careless nakedness and more douchey nakedness. Like that Lautner kid who is all: Oh, hey, I'm a teenager and have more muscles than you jerkwads, so let me take off my shirt at every opportune moment. (Seriously, girls. Please find better dudes to crush on.) Newsflash, guy: there is a time and there is not a time to strip and strike a pose. And until you figure out how to differentiate, you'll always be that thing that's nicer to look at than to take seriously. Then again, I could just be brutally jealous because the last time I pulled a Jacen and tried out the 'dig these pecs" line things kiiiiind of backfired. Memo to self: Women really tend to take things too literally in RhyDin.
From what I hear, endlessly end-dearingly sp-sputtering Mayu has snagged herself a honey! Or at least it looks that way from where I'm sitting. My sources tell me there have been definite sparks a-flying between that blue-green-haired bombshell and a cute thing named Martyr. In fact, more than once I've been told there have been some intimate moments had between those two. Pretty recently she and Martyr were even having a bit of a wrestling (read: torture) contest with their guy friend Toby. I don't know whether to be happy for or feel sorry for the dude in this case. More often than not, he's surrounded by two or three beautiful women who do everything in their power to keep him from third-wheeling. But on the other hand, being hopped on and shouted at to "mush' is" oh' only slightly emasculating. I get the big brother thing " I've even been there myself for a few friends of mine. But come on, ladies. Bros gotta look out for each other, so before you start breaking out the bridles, buy the poor guy a beer.
O.M.G. moment of the week! Who is this guy that was canoodling with Shy out on the porch Wednesday"! Like every other guy in RhyDin he is annoyingly tall and was probably raised on Tiger Milk. All in all, from pictures my sources could snap he was not that bad to look at. But more importantly, from what little we could see Shylah was girlishly giddy around him. Rrrrrowr. There is most assuredly something about Shy getting handsy that makes me wish I were a ship's captain, just so I could tell her, "Hey, baby, come on back to my harbor so I can show you my boat.? Ten points and a cookie to whoever gives me this dude's name so I can give him much needed kudos.
Depressing. Awkward Audrey has gotten her wish of becoming awkward. Maybe she's been spending too much time with Magenta or Arts, but these days she's always lost in thought or drinking enough to go off rambling nonsense. It's not her fault as far as we can tell; being creepy around creepy Arts is all part in parcel with the creepiness (not that Arts being creepy is bad, just....creepy). But I half expect Audrey to show up one day decked out in goth attire. That girl needs more color in her life these days. So at the risk of plugging our event YET AGAIN, I've just gotta say gee whiz, Awkward Audrey, it'd sure be nice to see ya spattered with paint and gorging yourself on candy like the old days.
Would you believe it, fun things do happen in the Annex! From what I'm told Toby (not manslave Toby mentioned earlier. Different Toby) and Wyh got the chance to catch up on old times during a bloodthirsty match of bloodiness and wound up leaving together. Now I'm not one to question what may or may not have happened with Wyh and Roran, or whether this Toby has got a family of his own somewhere, but the two of them looked awwwwfully familiar. All's I'm saying is Wyh is pretty freaking gorgeous, and there ain't no such thing as innocent banter in RhyDin!
That's all for now, RhyDin! You stay sassy!