http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/Paige_3.jpg Paige Connelly Staff Writer

Living in RhyDin, the residents are accustomed to seeing bizarre things. Often unbelievable urban myths told in taprooms and diners across RhyDin.

For you, our loyal readers, the truth has been tracked down.

Vampire Vs. Train=Epic Fail.

On Monday evening, the City Guards responded to the scene of an accident involving a vampire, a train and a Ferrari. It seems the driver of the Ferrari, one Mr. Bram Bloodsucker, did not pay heed to the tracks when he stopped at a red light.

When the safety bars came down, Mr. Bloodsucker jumped from his beloved Ferrari and towards the train in efforts to save his expensive car. The train was able to stop before hitting the car, Mr. Bloodsucker was not as lucky. He was thrown more than forty feet back from the impact with the train. When asked later, why he made such a foolish attempt to save a car, Mr. Bloodsucker only grimaced a little as he said, "The chicks dig it."

http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/Paige_3.jpg Paige Connelly Staff Reporter

Never Mess With A Lycan's Meal

A man was hunting with friends in the northern RhyDin forest early Tuesday morning, when they came upon what they believed was a dog chewing on a deer bone. For unknown reasons, the man, fifty eight year old Sev Holloway, tried to take the deer bone from the 'dog". As you can imagine, the Lycan refused to give up the treasure and dodged out of reach of Mr. Holloways" attempts to grab it.

Becoming frustrated and still wanting that bone, Mr. Holloway took his shotgun by the barrel and wielded it like a club, attempting to frighten the Lycan away from the bone. And again, the Lycan dodged the attempts.

Suddenly, the make shift club struck the ground, discharging and shooting Mr. Holloway in the stomach. Mr. Holloway was rushed to a hospital, living long enough to relay to the authorities what happened, clearing his friends of any responsibility for the incident.

http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/Paige_3.jpg Paige Connelly Staff Reporter

Make Sure The Ride Comes To A Complete Stop

While on a drive, Horace Snivelplatz performed a public service by proving why you should never jump from a moving vehicle.

Believing his brakes had failed while driving down a steep mountain road, Mr. Snivelplatz opened his door and bailed out on his eight passengers. It was unfortunate that Horace did not alert the others to this perceived brake problem, another passenger was able to bring the vehicle to a stop a short distance away.

Mr. Snivelplatz did not learn the good fortune of his friends, as his head struck the pavement and he died instantly.

http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/Paige_3.jpg Paige Connelly Staff Writer

Be Able To Outrun Your Mark

A professional pickpocket used astoundingly poor judgment when selecting his most recent victim at the RhyDin Airport. The thief thought he was in his element when he circled a group of young men and chose his prey.

Little did he realize that he was dipping into the bag of Speedy McBang, champion 110-meter hurdler for the RhyDin Athletic team. He was also spotted by Maurice Fester, the fastest sprinter in RhyDin, capable of running 100 meters in 9.8 seconds. The two athletes quickly chased down the thief despite his hefty head start.

The pickpocket attempted to pretend that he was just an innocent tourist, but the entire episode was captured on film by a television crew that had been interviewing Mr. McBang at the time.

"He chose the wrong man to try to outrun." deadpanned a spokesman for the City Guard.

http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/Paige_3.jpg Paige Connelly Staff Reporter

Winter Folly

Wintertime is often a season most RhyDin residents stay indoors. But one creative RhyDin resident was looking to have a little fun in the snow and wound up with a trip to the hospital burn ward instead.

Stanton Hodge, 34, was admitted to the hospital with second degree burns when the rocket booster he built for sledding, exploded.

Mr. Hodge had theorized that he could get a tremendous amount of speed sledding if he used a old automobile muffler filled with gunpowder and gasoline. Things were going well for Mr. Hodge until he was midway down the hill, when the homemade rocket exploded.

Thus far, the City Guard has not filed charges on Mr. Hodge but are considering one for possession of an explosive device.

http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/Paige_3.jpg Paige Connelly Staff Reporter

Getting Axed

Treeval's Lumberyard is a place where a lot of RhyDin citizens get their wood for their fires. Recently, the City Guard visited Treeval's, but not for firewood. Boris Henke, a lumberjack employed by the lumber yard was found laying unconscious near a pile of recently split wood. Fearing the man had been attacked, Mr. Treeval called the Guard and an ambulance.

Mr. Henke regained consciousness shortly after the ambulance arrived, and told them story of what happened.

It seems that Mr. Henke was trying to split a heavy log, and each swing he took at the log, made it move forward. Rather than move the heavy log back into place, the man stepped forward a foot to take another swing. The second swing met with the same result as the first, as did the third attempt, the fourth, and so on.

In his relentless determination to split the un-splittable, the man did not notice that he and the log had traveled some twenty-five feet across the yard, and were now positioned beneath the clothesline that had been hung across the yard to hang rags out to dry.

As he brought the axe down for another whack at the log, the axe head caught the clothesline, which acted in the same manner as a bow string. The axe had barely touched the top of the log when the clothesline reached its maximum draw, propelling the axe head back toward the man at an ungodly velocity. It found its mark right between his eyes.

Fortunately, the blunt side of the axe head made contact, and rather than killing him, it merely collapsed his sinus and fractured his skull. He recovered, and learned a very important lesson: Always be aware of your surroundings when hurling a sharp object through the air with great force.