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Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane
The Post's List of Top 25 Sexiest Women in RhyDin for 2010! December 4, 2010
You asked for me, RhyDin, you get me! As a reward for so generously boosting my ego, I have decided to gift you folks with an early Yuletide present, six days before it is due! I give you the Top 25 Sexiest Women in RhyDin for the year of 2010!
Drum roll, please!
25. Rachael Wynter I am SHOCKED, STUNNED, and APPALLED, RhyDin! Did they really issue a recall on Brett's Cherry Cough Drops" Sure, they might contain lead in them, but that's what makes them so darned good! All kidding aside though, Rachael's naughty and adulterous antics would shock and appall us under any other circumstances. Except this is RhyDin, so the fact that she is making it publicly - and flagrantly - known that she's sleeping with a married man really doesn't impress us all that much. What she earns points for, however, is her hotheadedness and her flair in the dueling rings. But if you plan on engaging this viper you best equip yourself with some appropriate anti-venom, because she is sure to bite!
24. Gwen Minx Why Gwennie is included on our list, we've heard, is already up for debate. Well" Maybe it's because we think Gwen is an absolutely blamtacular ball of fun, or maybe it's because we would genuinely fear for our lives if we left her off. One never knows with these things! But whether you think she's sweet or sexy, you cannot deny that this little Minx has the potential to draw then attention of every person in the room - usually in the form of loud noises or high-energy antics. And who better to complement her delightful, effervescent personality than' David Jones" Buhwhat" Maybe it's true. Opposites attract. I mean' Gwen is bubbly, fun and engaging and David is" well" not. Then again, he's bound to have done something to catch Gwennie's eye, so he can't be all bad. As it is, though, Gwen makes our list for the sheer, unfathomable talent of bringing the energy level in the room from zero to hydrogen bomb in all of point five microseconds. But for the love of all things, don't give this woman sugar!
23. Kaylee Granger Unless you have been living under a rock for the past three months, you will have spotted a ridiculously common surname floating around RhyDin that miraculously isn't Shimmerscale. We're talking about the Grangers, people! Now while there are seemingly an infinite number of them to choose from these days, only a few of them really stick out like a sore thumb' or in this case a prettily pampered and manicured thumb. Miss Kaylee Granger, while arguably not as sharp as the rest of her kin, has a certain easy charm that reminds me a little bit of a Southern Belle without the accent (but with the thousands of nosy cousins). She seems to be the princess of the Granger clan, and though a little bit na've and apparently a lot bit selfish, Kaylee maintains a guileless air about her that is all smiles and innocence" even though I'm certain she is about as innocent as a hungry Aja Bird is in a candy store. Even so, we love us some pampered princesses - especially ones in a family as brilliant as hers!
22. Katarina Smith For a while there we were worried that little miss Katarina dropped off the face of the planet! But then the RhyDin Ballet Troupe posters started popping up all over the place, and finally, finally she made a few public appearances! My dear, lovely RhyDin, what makes the dazzling, dexterous dancer of a woman like Katarina so utterly desirable is without a doubt her rich, shapely, glorious" um' personality! And of course her enticing, soft-yet-firm' um' eyes. Yes, she has very perky and squeezable eyes. All joking aside, though, Katarina has a delightfully down-to-earth personality (would it be considered down-to-RhyDin"), is wonderfully sweet, and ridiculously talented. She makes a reappearance on our list this year for her excellent poise in the face of competition. A true star, if ever we saw one! Keep it up, gorgeous, and hit us up when we can start buying tickets!
21. Fiora Shantalaine I'm not sure exactly when our timid little Fiora turned into a party-crazed vixen, but it reminds me a little bit of the time I decided to stop removing the chewing gum wrappers before I ate them. Sure doing something out of the ordinary and going against the grain is a bit freeing and empowering, but at some point you might want to consider that the green and purple spots you are seeing everywhere could possibly be related to aluminum toxicity. Not making any sense, am I" I really need to quit chewing gum. But whether it is Fiora making a big change in her life or just coming into her own here in RhyDin, it's a pretty obvious fact that she is one heck of a fun woman to unwind with. Rumor has it she is a bit of a troublemaker, and also that if her mind were a movie, it would be waaaaaay over PG-13. But that's just a personal opinion. Needless to say, however, this woman's luscious, rockin' bod and party-girl instincts make her aces in our book!
20. Kazzy Hart I know what you're going to say, RhyDin: Emmet! Are you high on aluminum' Kazzy' Sexy"! Well you are all a bunch of superficial chauvinists! Not every sexy woman has to be a Jatari or an Aolani - sometimes we like a girl with a little substance; in this case, a ridiculously hilarious sense of humor. Kazzy is sharp, folks. She has a quick wit and isn't afraid to tell things how they are or to make a fool of herself for her own amusement. The crowd she hangs with is honestly one of our favorites to watch, which only confirms that age-old saying: "You are who your friends are." Besides, we don't know what you people are talking about. Kazzy has edgy, unique looks that should honestly make any man drop to his knees and worship her. What do you think, Kaz" Start a church in your honor" Let us know!
19. Atalanta There is something about a woman with an accent that I never fail to find unbearably appealing. Seriously. Some broad could easily have survived a worst-case-scenario confrontation with Wolvinator's claws and have eaten her weight in doughnuts to fill the empty void inside left by where her narcissism once was, and I'd still" be writing this article. Thankfully, though, Atalanta happens to be one of the most gorgeous women on RhyDin to boot. Word has it she used to work at the RDI, which begs the question: Does Panth really just hire solely based on looks" Though her charming accent and classic looks give off an impression of innocence, what really lights the fire under our heels is the spark behind her eyes when she smiles. Atalanta certainly has an attractively confident air about her, and the way she looks at you it's sometimes difficult to tell whether she'd like to take you home, kick your ass, or eat you for dinner. If you're lucky, it may be all three.
18. Gigi Granger I seriously think I have a death wish, my lovelies. Why is it the women I always fall the hardest for are the ones that have the likeliest potential to kill me" Gigi has rapidly been climbing our favorites list since the Grangers started popping up all over RhyDin en masse, and to be brutally honest if I'd had my way I'd have stuck her into the number one slot. Unfortunately it's a group vote over here, and as much as I whined bitterly and pined for this ridiculously hot little vixen, I was overruled. Let it be known, however, that Gigi is one of the hottest commodities out there in RhyDin right now. I swear to all things this babe is utterly smoking, with flawless skin, an amazing body, legs for days, and a smile so dangerous and beautiful I fear to look directly upon it. Best of all, spending time with this woman is like juggling swords - if you play with them long enough, or take your eyes off them for just one second, you are bound to get seriously maimed. As of yet we haven't seen one crack in her tough persona, and I honestly can't decide whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. I'll go with good; good in the sense that this gal is ridiculously protective of those she cares about, and good that she has an authoritarian, charmingly bossy personality that makes me swoon. Word has it she has been seen on and off in the companies of stupidly handsome Leo and (would you believe it") Smokey. If there is any word on what comes of this let me know so that I can arrange threatening - I mean' congratulatory emails.
17. Jaycy Ashleana While something must have gone down with Jaycy recently that has caused her to become a tad bit more withdrawn than usual, she remains on our list because whatever might have impacted her certainly hasn't interrupted her dueling career. Rumor has it she has even been spotted now and again rocking the magic sport! Well we don't know what prompted her to go and do that, but it sure as heck is a breath of fresh air to see her dip her toes into water she isn't necessarily familiar with. What really drives us wild, though, is the fact that the quiet moodiness she exhibits in most circumstances completely evaporates once she steps inside a dueling ring, leaving only the dazzling, confident, irresistibly sexy Jaycy we know and love. Keep it up, sweetheart. If inflicting pain on others is what takes to make you happy, so be it!
16. Bekah Princess Bekah is truly the epitome of royalty here on RhyDin. Whether she has the blood to prove it or not, her exclusive disposition marries beautifully with her perfect, opulent looks to make a glittering faceted jewel on RhyDin's crumbling exterior. But Bekah isn't just a piece of armcandy, folks. She has one heck of an independent streak - as evidenced by the way she and her would-be relationship companions exist in total silence on occasion. That doesn't seem to faze her, though, and as such Princess Bekah remains a true diamond in our eyes: brilliant, beautiful, and next to impossible to mar or destroy.
15. Joey Damarco We hate to admit it, but while Jo' has always been a gorgeous and fun woman to be around, we used to just see her as one of those standby beauties of RhyDin that's been here a good while. Well, RhyDin, I've never been so happy to have my opinion changed. In the past year or so, Joey has really wormed her way into our hearts with a new, individualistic approach to living. Yeah, yeah. So she's been sighted a few times with Sylus of all people (and truthfully, I don't really get that particular couple), but the beautiful Joey Damarco is truly her own beautiful, beautiful blossom these days - all bubbles and blatant innuendos. And really, RhyDin, innuendo bubbles are the best kinds of bubbles.
14. Anyanka Faeraar Like many of our favorites on this list, the drop-dead gorgeous Anyanka is swathed in mystery. But what really makes us feel warm in our happy places (our HEARTS. Get your minds out of the gutter, you perverts!) about this woman is the fact that she doesn't need to make an effort to be sexy. Unlike many other RhyDin women who feel the need to compensate for a poor self-esteem by strutting their stuff in the Red Dragon in what may as well be underwear, Anyanka has a truly natural seductive air about her - the way she walks, talks, and breathes just ooooozes sex. And it makes me wonder whether she didn't just have sex hardwired into her DNA wherever she came from. Fortunate for her she seems to be paired with the dashing Victor, who both tolerates and matches her sexiness flawlessly. Have we used the word "sex" in this description enough' Sex, sex, sex.
13. Riley O'Rourke If you are no stranger to the Gossip Column, then by now you already know I have a confusing love/hate relationship with this little spitfire. Soon to be Mrs. O'Rourke (if she changes her name, we're going to be having some serious words with her answering machine) has been in the news more than any living person should or has a right to in the past year, and it's mainly because nearly everything she does is inundated with controversy and criticism. Whether she lets it get to her or not, this gal has developed one heck of a thick skin in her life" which is probably why she comes off so rhymes-with-itchy sometimes. But then the layers begin to peel off once you have a look-see at the relationship she has with her students at the Black Cat Yoga and Dance Studio, or the undying loyalty she has for those closest to her, and for the briefest time you consider that falling in love with her just might be worth the endless smart-aleck retorts and the knee in the groin.
12. Samilee Burke Though ridiculously smexy Samilee has been sort of keeping to herself lately, she remains on our list for the simple fact that even a year from when we first pointed her out to you, she still remains riddled with mystery. And you know us, RhyDin. We love us some mystery. Still, I find it staggeringly odd that a goddess like Samilee is so often left alone to chill at the bar and sip her drink by herself. Exactly what is she thinking about so much, and why is it keeping her from reaping life for all its worth' Her friends need to get off their butts and lend her a couch to lie on, because seeing Sami anything but happy is making the she-interns sad enough to reach for comfort food. Still, a beautiful Promethean like Samilee remains one of our favorites. But do us a favor, love" Help save the chocolate-bingers of the world from themselves and smile!
11. Lilliana McClae That Lilliana McClae makes it front and center onto our list of RhyDin's Sexiest Women is proof that you don't need to be a size zero to be ridiculously attractive. Every moment spent in the company of flowerchild Lilli is truly a breath of fresh air, as she has more than enough sociability and approachability to make even the most uncomfortable stranger feel entirely welcome. A member of the Garridan gyspy clan, flowerchild Lilli seems to make a habit of mediating disputes and generally transforming any group of strangers into family. And truthfully, her larger-than-life personality is almost impossible to debunk or dislike, which probably explains why Lilli is one of the most popular women in RhyDin. After all, they don't give May Queen to just anybody!
10. Kate Where there is one there is most definitely the other! Seen in Bekah's company here and again, Kate makes our list because while her personality might not always be bubbly and well received as flowerchild Lilli's, it is most certainly unique. Kate is one of those brilliant women who have about sixty layers to their name, and constantly oscillates between a handful of identities. Some nights she is capable of charming the Inn at large with her partyriffic antics, while other nights she channels all her energy into building up the Great Wall of Kate around her person. That is not to say she's standoffish, though, but rather appropriately defensive - and rightly so, as my sources tell me that not everything in Kate's history is necessarily peaches and cream. But don't let that deter you from engaging her, because when it comes to acquaintances we have heard Kate is fiercely loyal and a blast to be around. Mind your manners, though, as rumor has it she'll soon enough be made an honest woman!
9. Gemethyst If anyone is capable of making a good comeback, it sure is this woman right here. I'd say we're relieved to have swoon-worthy Gem back, but I have discovered that in this town it is a fact that truly likable slash beautiful people never stay absent for long. It's just one of those things. Kind of like how everyone claims they pay their tab at the Inn when realistically they don't - or they do, but they pay it in some obscure currency like" I don't know. Tootsie rolls. But chances are if you're no stranger to the Red Dragon Inn, you will have been able to recognize Gem by now. And if that is the case, then you will be able to affirm that old saying that big things (or in this case, very attractive and tantalizing things) come in small packages. Oddly, Gem seems to make friends with some of the most peculiar folk that are quite possibly direct opposites of the type of person she makes herself out to be. Then again, living in conflict seems to be something she is familiar with!
8. Kitty O'Helston And you thought I was afraid for my life if I left Gwen off the list. But honestly Kitty's claws are probably the one thing I wouldn't mind keeping the scars from. For though the fabulous Kitty is about as dimensional as a sheet of loose-leaf paper, she is and always will be one of the most sexiest women in RhyDin for her voluptuous figure and her (literally) in-your-face cleavage - I mean' attitude. And it's that attitude precisely that makes her the friend of virtually everyone in RhyDin. It really makes me wonder a little bit about how she juggled identities while she was in office, as while politics are certainly a branch of social hierarchy, it can take a kind of recluse to run a city successfully. Well" this town isn't in ruins (yet), so she must have a heck of a lot more character than we thought!
7. Kairee I vote that Kairee opens her own school. We shall call it the Fiery Kairee Institute of Innocent Wickedness. Alright, so I'm not excellent with names; if anyone else comes up with something, I'm aaaaalll ears. But the fact of the matter is fiery Kairee is a little bit of a contradiction in and of herself. She comes off all bells and innocuous jingle with all the sex appeal of a safe fifties pinup model" but the words we've heard coming out of her mouth often make our jaws drop. The reason I vote on the F.K.I.I.W. is it seems more and more often our dazzling Kairee has made a habit of corrupting our youth' and no amount of positively divine looks will save us from that shock value! Her situation reminds me a little bit of that teddy bear recall that happened a few years ago. You remember, don't you? Well" Sir Fuzzbuckle Talks-a-Lot - produced by the Magi Corporation I believe - was supposed to be equipped with a squeezable stomach that permitted him to shower the squeezer with compliments and feel-good sentiments. But unfortunately a disgruntled ex-employee got a hold of the recording loop right as the toys were going out, and as a result kids all over RhyDin were learning how to swear quite impressively in orcish. This is not to say that fiery Kairee drives us to cuss our brains out (if so, it would only be out of sheer frustration that we can't have more of her more often!), but that though everything about this goddess reeks kindliness and splendor, there really is one heck of a seductress attached to those legs!
6. Tara Rynieyn Before you start, I know what you're going to say: But Emmet, you tasty morsel of irresistible testosterone! Why when tenacious Tara has only gotten seemingly more insane has she been moved up the list of RhyDin's sexiest women"! Well, Rhyfolk" I can answer in one of many ways. Allow me to do so alphabetically. She is but A Bachelorette Cabaret, Daily Engendered as Fearsome Gaiety from Hell, In that jape and Jest are Kept Laconically Malign. Nonetheless, Only Praise Quells this Raving Seductress and Tempers her Ultimatums into Vain and Winsome X-rated Yumminess. Uh' Zymogen. If you couldn't make any sense of that, the only thing you really need to walk away knowing is that Tara is a RhyDin institution. No, I'm not making some tasteless joke about public availability, but rather the observation that RhyDin simply would not be RhyDin without a Tara Rynieyn. And for that, she has earned an eternal place in our hearts (and a higher place on our list).
5. Wyheree Ravenlock What, ho! Wyheree was bumped up too"! What madness is this, Emmet' Well, folks" Remember last year how we pointed out that anything-but-cold ice queen Wyh was the epitome of aristocracy and her manners are utterly flawless" Well this year we were given the distinct pleasure of spotting a crack in her impenetrable foundation of sophistication' and we saw the most delicious temper on this vixen! It honestly made us tremble in pure and utter delight! Sure, Wyh is all etiquette and poise 99.99999% of the time, but when certain things (or people coughMurcough) get under her skin, boy-howdy you ought to duck and cover. This icy babe has enough venom stored in reserves to make a djinn feel sick to his stomach. And a good thing too, for this gorgeous gal is not to be messed with. Heck, she didn't hold the Diamond just by standing around looking pretty!
4. Eva Luna Let this be a lesson to all you naysayers out there. Just because you aren't always around, doesn't mean we have forgotten about you! (I'm talking to you, Sin and Sal.) Thankfully the glorious angel and ever-refined Eva isn't completely M.I.A, and has been spotted every once and a while making an appearance both alone and with RhyDin's own he-man Mason. But though she has been conspicuously absent of late, we here at the Gossip Column felt the overwhelming urge to keep her on our list simply for the hi-larious episodes she participates in during public functions. We utterly adore Eva for the wrapped-up ball of surprises she is - namely that her normally mature, sophisticated exterior is complimented with a charming potential to be fun-loving and childish. It has never stopped us coming back for more, and it still won't!
3. Fio Helston Dull my foot, Fio Helston! If this fabulous woman is anything it is not dull. Quite the contrary, actually. The group of us here at the Gossip Column view fabulous Fio as one of the go-to sources in RhyDin for stylishness and composure. No matter what ridiculous instance seems to be thrown her way, Fio always seems to tenaciously carry on with aplomb. Perhaps it is more than tenacity, though, as Fio seems to bring a subtle flair to the quiet life she and Ali (and now their precious little one, Raza) have been making for themselves. For though she generally seems to make an attempt to keep to herself, Fio has a spark and a curiously intriguing way about her that dutifully draws the eye in a crowd. The lesson here folks is subtlety, and Fio has it in spades. You don't have to be naked and covered in gold paint to be noteworthy or desirable. You just have to be you!
2. Koyliak VanDuran-Simon Oh Koy, baby. This doesn't mean we love you any less! You still do and always will capture our hearts! In case you silly people were unfamiliar with such a familiar name, Koy is probably the most renowned designer in RhyDin, making the city's pathetic idea of fashion her plaything since 1990 (actually, we're not sure since when. 1990 just sounded like a good year). This year Koy has been busying herself even more by picking up a new title: Minister of Cultural Diversity. Now I don't know exactly what that is, but from what I've read it has something to do with liking the city a whole lot. Speaking from personal experience, it takes some guts to admit you love this city, so kudos! As it is, though Koy is still up there with the big dogs in terms of her enticing smexiness - if only for the sole fact that her cheerful, blunt personality has only gotten" blunter" And is it just me, or has she gotten hotter since last year" Yowza!
1. Elessaria Devabriel What, what"! Of all people elfess Eless is our sexiest woman alive"! You darn well better believe it, RhyDin! Maybe it was the idea of her in a cheerleading uniform that turned the tides in her favor, but truthfully this drop-dead gorgeous entrepreneur has had some heavy-duty recognition coming for a loooong time. While this list isn't exactly a popularity contest, it still remains that elegant Eless has been putting herself out in society this year more times than Harris has flung insults - truly an impressive feat in and of itself. More than that, this couture maiden of class has been making herself available to assist new up-and-coming drink-slingers (heya, boys!), and as always, taking a personal shine to precious Taneth and generally the entire Inn-going population at large. And get this! Though not necessarily a true-blue fan of the stabbing and bleeding people tend to do at duels, Eless has still dragged herself over there to show her support on multiple occasions! That is dedication, my friends! Eless gets five gold stars in our book for being an all-around spectacular character in the midst of all our RhyDin cronies, plus an extra two just because she is really, really ridiculously good-looking. I mean really, folks. Looks of her caliber deserve to be carved in marble and preserved in museums. In fact' I'm commissioning someone right now. Anyone know a good marble sculptor for the sexiest woman in RhyDin?
The Post's List of Top 25 Sexiest Women in RhyDin for 2010! December 4, 2010
You asked for me, RhyDin, you get me! As a reward for so generously boosting my ego, I have decided to gift you folks with an early Yuletide present, six days before it is due! I give you the Top 25 Sexiest Women in RhyDin for the year of 2010!
Drum roll, please!
25. Rachael Wynter I am SHOCKED, STUNNED, and APPALLED, RhyDin! Did they really issue a recall on Brett's Cherry Cough Drops" Sure, they might contain lead in them, but that's what makes them so darned good! All kidding aside though, Rachael's naughty and adulterous antics would shock and appall us under any other circumstances. Except this is RhyDin, so the fact that she is making it publicly - and flagrantly - known that she's sleeping with a married man really doesn't impress us all that much. What she earns points for, however, is her hotheadedness and her flair in the dueling rings. But if you plan on engaging this viper you best equip yourself with some appropriate anti-venom, because she is sure to bite!
24. Gwen Minx Why Gwennie is included on our list, we've heard, is already up for debate. Well" Maybe it's because we think Gwen is an absolutely blamtacular ball of fun, or maybe it's because we would genuinely fear for our lives if we left her off. One never knows with these things! But whether you think she's sweet or sexy, you cannot deny that this little Minx has the potential to draw then attention of every person in the room - usually in the form of loud noises or high-energy antics. And who better to complement her delightful, effervescent personality than' David Jones" Buhwhat" Maybe it's true. Opposites attract. I mean' Gwen is bubbly, fun and engaging and David is" well" not. Then again, he's bound to have done something to catch Gwennie's eye, so he can't be all bad. As it is, though, Gwen makes our list for the sheer, unfathomable talent of bringing the energy level in the room from zero to hydrogen bomb in all of point five microseconds. But for the love of all things, don't give this woman sugar!
23. Kaylee Granger Unless you have been living under a rock for the past three months, you will have spotted a ridiculously common surname floating around RhyDin that miraculously isn't Shimmerscale. We're talking about the Grangers, people! Now while there are seemingly an infinite number of them to choose from these days, only a few of them really stick out like a sore thumb' or in this case a prettily pampered and manicured thumb. Miss Kaylee Granger, while arguably not as sharp as the rest of her kin, has a certain easy charm that reminds me a little bit of a Southern Belle without the accent (but with the thousands of nosy cousins). She seems to be the princess of the Granger clan, and though a little bit na've and apparently a lot bit selfish, Kaylee maintains a guileless air about her that is all smiles and innocence" even though I'm certain she is about as innocent as a hungry Aja Bird is in a candy store. Even so, we love us some pampered princesses - especially ones in a family as brilliant as hers!
22. Katarina Smith For a while there we were worried that little miss Katarina dropped off the face of the planet! But then the RhyDin Ballet Troupe posters started popping up all over the place, and finally, finally she made a few public appearances! My dear, lovely RhyDin, what makes the dazzling, dexterous dancer of a woman like Katarina so utterly desirable is without a doubt her rich, shapely, glorious" um' personality! And of course her enticing, soft-yet-firm' um' eyes. Yes, she has very perky and squeezable eyes. All joking aside, though, Katarina has a delightfully down-to-earth personality (would it be considered down-to-RhyDin"), is wonderfully sweet, and ridiculously talented. She makes a reappearance on our list this year for her excellent poise in the face of competition. A true star, if ever we saw one! Keep it up, gorgeous, and hit us up when we can start buying tickets!
21. Fiora Shantalaine I'm not sure exactly when our timid little Fiora turned into a party-crazed vixen, but it reminds me a little bit of the time I decided to stop removing the chewing gum wrappers before I ate them. Sure doing something out of the ordinary and going against the grain is a bit freeing and empowering, but at some point you might want to consider that the green and purple spots you are seeing everywhere could possibly be related to aluminum toxicity. Not making any sense, am I" I really need to quit chewing gum. But whether it is Fiora making a big change in her life or just coming into her own here in RhyDin, it's a pretty obvious fact that she is one heck of a fun woman to unwind with. Rumor has it she is a bit of a troublemaker, and also that if her mind were a movie, it would be waaaaaay over PG-13. But that's just a personal opinion. Needless to say, however, this woman's luscious, rockin' bod and party-girl instincts make her aces in our book!
20. Kazzy Hart I know what you're going to say, RhyDin: Emmet! Are you high on aluminum' Kazzy' Sexy"! Well you are all a bunch of superficial chauvinists! Not every sexy woman has to be a Jatari or an Aolani - sometimes we like a girl with a little substance; in this case, a ridiculously hilarious sense of humor. Kazzy is sharp, folks. She has a quick wit and isn't afraid to tell things how they are or to make a fool of herself for her own amusement. The crowd she hangs with is honestly one of our favorites to watch, which only confirms that age-old saying: "You are who your friends are." Besides, we don't know what you people are talking about. Kazzy has edgy, unique looks that should honestly make any man drop to his knees and worship her. What do you think, Kaz" Start a church in your honor" Let us know!
19. Atalanta There is something about a woman with an accent that I never fail to find unbearably appealing. Seriously. Some broad could easily have survived a worst-case-scenario confrontation with Wolvinator's claws and have eaten her weight in doughnuts to fill the empty void inside left by where her narcissism once was, and I'd still" be writing this article. Thankfully, though, Atalanta happens to be one of the most gorgeous women on RhyDin to boot. Word has it she used to work at the RDI, which begs the question: Does Panth really just hire solely based on looks" Though her charming accent and classic looks give off an impression of innocence, what really lights the fire under our heels is the spark behind her eyes when she smiles. Atalanta certainly has an attractively confident air about her, and the way she looks at you it's sometimes difficult to tell whether she'd like to take you home, kick your ass, or eat you for dinner. If you're lucky, it may be all three.
18. Gigi Granger I seriously think I have a death wish, my lovelies. Why is it the women I always fall the hardest for are the ones that have the likeliest potential to kill me" Gigi has rapidly been climbing our favorites list since the Grangers started popping up all over RhyDin en masse, and to be brutally honest if I'd had my way I'd have stuck her into the number one slot. Unfortunately it's a group vote over here, and as much as I whined bitterly and pined for this ridiculously hot little vixen, I was overruled. Let it be known, however, that Gigi is one of the hottest commodities out there in RhyDin right now. I swear to all things this babe is utterly smoking, with flawless skin, an amazing body, legs for days, and a smile so dangerous and beautiful I fear to look directly upon it. Best of all, spending time with this woman is like juggling swords - if you play with them long enough, or take your eyes off them for just one second, you are bound to get seriously maimed. As of yet we haven't seen one crack in her tough persona, and I honestly can't decide whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. I'll go with good; good in the sense that this gal is ridiculously protective of those she cares about, and good that she has an authoritarian, charmingly bossy personality that makes me swoon. Word has it she has been seen on and off in the companies of stupidly handsome Leo and (would you believe it") Smokey. If there is any word on what comes of this let me know so that I can arrange threatening - I mean' congratulatory emails.
17. Jaycy Ashleana While something must have gone down with Jaycy recently that has caused her to become a tad bit more withdrawn than usual, she remains on our list because whatever might have impacted her certainly hasn't interrupted her dueling career. Rumor has it she has even been spotted now and again rocking the magic sport! Well we don't know what prompted her to go and do that, but it sure as heck is a breath of fresh air to see her dip her toes into water she isn't necessarily familiar with. What really drives us wild, though, is the fact that the quiet moodiness she exhibits in most circumstances completely evaporates once she steps inside a dueling ring, leaving only the dazzling, confident, irresistibly sexy Jaycy we know and love. Keep it up, sweetheart. If inflicting pain on others is what takes to make you happy, so be it!
16. Bekah Princess Bekah is truly the epitome of royalty here on RhyDin. Whether she has the blood to prove it or not, her exclusive disposition marries beautifully with her perfect, opulent looks to make a glittering faceted jewel on RhyDin's crumbling exterior. But Bekah isn't just a piece of armcandy, folks. She has one heck of an independent streak - as evidenced by the way she and her would-be relationship companions exist in total silence on occasion. That doesn't seem to faze her, though, and as such Princess Bekah remains a true diamond in our eyes: brilliant, beautiful, and next to impossible to mar or destroy.
15. Joey Damarco We hate to admit it, but while Jo' has always been a gorgeous and fun woman to be around, we used to just see her as one of those standby beauties of RhyDin that's been here a good while. Well, RhyDin, I've never been so happy to have my opinion changed. In the past year or so, Joey has really wormed her way into our hearts with a new, individualistic approach to living. Yeah, yeah. So she's been sighted a few times with Sylus of all people (and truthfully, I don't really get that particular couple), but the beautiful Joey Damarco is truly her own beautiful, beautiful blossom these days - all bubbles and blatant innuendos. And really, RhyDin, innuendo bubbles are the best kinds of bubbles.
14. Anyanka Faeraar Like many of our favorites on this list, the drop-dead gorgeous Anyanka is swathed in mystery. But what really makes us feel warm in our happy places (our HEARTS. Get your minds out of the gutter, you perverts!) about this woman is the fact that she doesn't need to make an effort to be sexy. Unlike many other RhyDin women who feel the need to compensate for a poor self-esteem by strutting their stuff in the Red Dragon in what may as well be underwear, Anyanka has a truly natural seductive air about her - the way she walks, talks, and breathes just ooooozes sex. And it makes me wonder whether she didn't just have sex hardwired into her DNA wherever she came from. Fortunate for her she seems to be paired with the dashing Victor, who both tolerates and matches her sexiness flawlessly. Have we used the word "sex" in this description enough' Sex, sex, sex.
13. Riley O'Rourke If you are no stranger to the Gossip Column, then by now you already know I have a confusing love/hate relationship with this little spitfire. Soon to be Mrs. O'Rourke (if she changes her name, we're going to be having some serious words with her answering machine) has been in the news more than any living person should or has a right to in the past year, and it's mainly because nearly everything she does is inundated with controversy and criticism. Whether she lets it get to her or not, this gal has developed one heck of a thick skin in her life" which is probably why she comes off so rhymes-with-itchy sometimes. But then the layers begin to peel off once you have a look-see at the relationship she has with her students at the Black Cat Yoga and Dance Studio, or the undying loyalty she has for those closest to her, and for the briefest time you consider that falling in love with her just might be worth the endless smart-aleck retorts and the knee in the groin.
12. Samilee Burke Though ridiculously smexy Samilee has been sort of keeping to herself lately, she remains on our list for the simple fact that even a year from when we first pointed her out to you, she still remains riddled with mystery. And you know us, RhyDin. We love us some mystery. Still, I find it staggeringly odd that a goddess like Samilee is so often left alone to chill at the bar and sip her drink by herself. Exactly what is she thinking about so much, and why is it keeping her from reaping life for all its worth' Her friends need to get off their butts and lend her a couch to lie on, because seeing Sami anything but happy is making the she-interns sad enough to reach for comfort food. Still, a beautiful Promethean like Samilee remains one of our favorites. But do us a favor, love" Help save the chocolate-bingers of the world from themselves and smile!
11. Lilliana McClae That Lilliana McClae makes it front and center onto our list of RhyDin's Sexiest Women is proof that you don't need to be a size zero to be ridiculously attractive. Every moment spent in the company of flowerchild Lilli is truly a breath of fresh air, as she has more than enough sociability and approachability to make even the most uncomfortable stranger feel entirely welcome. A member of the Garridan gyspy clan, flowerchild Lilli seems to make a habit of mediating disputes and generally transforming any group of strangers into family. And truthfully, her larger-than-life personality is almost impossible to debunk or dislike, which probably explains why Lilli is one of the most popular women in RhyDin. After all, they don't give May Queen to just anybody!
10. Kate Where there is one there is most definitely the other! Seen in Bekah's company here and again, Kate makes our list because while her personality might not always be bubbly and well received as flowerchild Lilli's, it is most certainly unique. Kate is one of those brilliant women who have about sixty layers to their name, and constantly oscillates between a handful of identities. Some nights she is capable of charming the Inn at large with her partyriffic antics, while other nights she channels all her energy into building up the Great Wall of Kate around her person. That is not to say she's standoffish, though, but rather appropriately defensive - and rightly so, as my sources tell me that not everything in Kate's history is necessarily peaches and cream. But don't let that deter you from engaging her, because when it comes to acquaintances we have heard Kate is fiercely loyal and a blast to be around. Mind your manners, though, as rumor has it she'll soon enough be made an honest woman!
9. Gemethyst If anyone is capable of making a good comeback, it sure is this woman right here. I'd say we're relieved to have swoon-worthy Gem back, but I have discovered that in this town it is a fact that truly likable slash beautiful people never stay absent for long. It's just one of those things. Kind of like how everyone claims they pay their tab at the Inn when realistically they don't - or they do, but they pay it in some obscure currency like" I don't know. Tootsie rolls. But chances are if you're no stranger to the Red Dragon Inn, you will have been able to recognize Gem by now. And if that is the case, then you will be able to affirm that old saying that big things (or in this case, very attractive and tantalizing things) come in small packages. Oddly, Gem seems to make friends with some of the most peculiar folk that are quite possibly direct opposites of the type of person she makes herself out to be. Then again, living in conflict seems to be something she is familiar with!
8. Kitty O'Helston And you thought I was afraid for my life if I left Gwen off the list. But honestly Kitty's claws are probably the one thing I wouldn't mind keeping the scars from. For though the fabulous Kitty is about as dimensional as a sheet of loose-leaf paper, she is and always will be one of the most sexiest women in RhyDin for her voluptuous figure and her (literally) in-your-face cleavage - I mean' attitude. And it's that attitude precisely that makes her the friend of virtually everyone in RhyDin. It really makes me wonder a little bit about how she juggled identities while she was in office, as while politics are certainly a branch of social hierarchy, it can take a kind of recluse to run a city successfully. Well" this town isn't in ruins (yet), so she must have a heck of a lot more character than we thought!
7. Kairee I vote that Kairee opens her own school. We shall call it the Fiery Kairee Institute of Innocent Wickedness. Alright, so I'm not excellent with names; if anyone else comes up with something, I'm aaaaalll ears. But the fact of the matter is fiery Kairee is a little bit of a contradiction in and of herself. She comes off all bells and innocuous jingle with all the sex appeal of a safe fifties pinup model" but the words we've heard coming out of her mouth often make our jaws drop. The reason I vote on the F.K.I.I.W. is it seems more and more often our dazzling Kairee has made a habit of corrupting our youth' and no amount of positively divine looks will save us from that shock value! Her situation reminds me a little bit of that teddy bear recall that happened a few years ago. You remember, don't you? Well" Sir Fuzzbuckle Talks-a-Lot - produced by the Magi Corporation I believe - was supposed to be equipped with a squeezable stomach that permitted him to shower the squeezer with compliments and feel-good sentiments. But unfortunately a disgruntled ex-employee got a hold of the recording loop right as the toys were going out, and as a result kids all over RhyDin were learning how to swear quite impressively in orcish. This is not to say that fiery Kairee drives us to cuss our brains out (if so, it would only be out of sheer frustration that we can't have more of her more often!), but that though everything about this goddess reeks kindliness and splendor, there really is one heck of a seductress attached to those legs!
6. Tara Rynieyn Before you start, I know what you're going to say: But Emmet, you tasty morsel of irresistible testosterone! Why when tenacious Tara has only gotten seemingly more insane has she been moved up the list of RhyDin's sexiest women"! Well, Rhyfolk" I can answer in one of many ways. Allow me to do so alphabetically. She is but A Bachelorette Cabaret, Daily Engendered as Fearsome Gaiety from Hell, In that jape and Jest are Kept Laconically Malign. Nonetheless, Only Praise Quells this Raving Seductress and Tempers her Ultimatums into Vain and Winsome X-rated Yumminess. Uh' Zymogen. If you couldn't make any sense of that, the only thing you really need to walk away knowing is that Tara is a RhyDin institution. No, I'm not making some tasteless joke about public availability, but rather the observation that RhyDin simply would not be RhyDin without a Tara Rynieyn. And for that, she has earned an eternal place in our hearts (and a higher place on our list).
5. Wyheree Ravenlock What, ho! Wyheree was bumped up too"! What madness is this, Emmet' Well, folks" Remember last year how we pointed out that anything-but-cold ice queen Wyh was the epitome of aristocracy and her manners are utterly flawless" Well this year we were given the distinct pleasure of spotting a crack in her impenetrable foundation of sophistication' and we saw the most delicious temper on this vixen! It honestly made us tremble in pure and utter delight! Sure, Wyh is all etiquette and poise 99.99999% of the time, but when certain things (or people coughMurcough) get under her skin, boy-howdy you ought to duck and cover. This icy babe has enough venom stored in reserves to make a djinn feel sick to his stomach. And a good thing too, for this gorgeous gal is not to be messed with. Heck, she didn't hold the Diamond just by standing around looking pretty!
4. Eva Luna Let this be a lesson to all you naysayers out there. Just because you aren't always around, doesn't mean we have forgotten about you! (I'm talking to you, Sin and Sal.) Thankfully the glorious angel and ever-refined Eva isn't completely M.I.A, and has been spotted every once and a while making an appearance both alone and with RhyDin's own he-man Mason. But though she has been conspicuously absent of late, we here at the Gossip Column felt the overwhelming urge to keep her on our list simply for the hi-larious episodes she participates in during public functions. We utterly adore Eva for the wrapped-up ball of surprises she is - namely that her normally mature, sophisticated exterior is complimented with a charming potential to be fun-loving and childish. It has never stopped us coming back for more, and it still won't!
3. Fio Helston Dull my foot, Fio Helston! If this fabulous woman is anything it is not dull. Quite the contrary, actually. The group of us here at the Gossip Column view fabulous Fio as one of the go-to sources in RhyDin for stylishness and composure. No matter what ridiculous instance seems to be thrown her way, Fio always seems to tenaciously carry on with aplomb. Perhaps it is more than tenacity, though, as Fio seems to bring a subtle flair to the quiet life she and Ali (and now their precious little one, Raza) have been making for themselves. For though she generally seems to make an attempt to keep to herself, Fio has a spark and a curiously intriguing way about her that dutifully draws the eye in a crowd. The lesson here folks is subtlety, and Fio has it in spades. You don't have to be naked and covered in gold paint to be noteworthy or desirable. You just have to be you!
2. Koyliak VanDuran-Simon Oh Koy, baby. This doesn't mean we love you any less! You still do and always will capture our hearts! In case you silly people were unfamiliar with such a familiar name, Koy is probably the most renowned designer in RhyDin, making the city's pathetic idea of fashion her plaything since 1990 (actually, we're not sure since when. 1990 just sounded like a good year). This year Koy has been busying herself even more by picking up a new title: Minister of Cultural Diversity. Now I don't know exactly what that is, but from what I've read it has something to do with liking the city a whole lot. Speaking from personal experience, it takes some guts to admit you love this city, so kudos! As it is, though Koy is still up there with the big dogs in terms of her enticing smexiness - if only for the sole fact that her cheerful, blunt personality has only gotten" blunter" And is it just me, or has she gotten hotter since last year" Yowza!
1. Elessaria Devabriel What, what"! Of all people elfess Eless is our sexiest woman alive"! You darn well better believe it, RhyDin! Maybe it was the idea of her in a cheerleading uniform that turned the tides in her favor, but truthfully this drop-dead gorgeous entrepreneur has had some heavy-duty recognition coming for a loooong time. While this list isn't exactly a popularity contest, it still remains that elegant Eless has been putting herself out in society this year more times than Harris has flung insults - truly an impressive feat in and of itself. More than that, this couture maiden of class has been making herself available to assist new up-and-coming drink-slingers (heya, boys!), and as always, taking a personal shine to precious Taneth and generally the entire Inn-going population at large. And get this! Though not necessarily a true-blue fan of the stabbing and bleeding people tend to do at duels, Eless has still dragged herself over there to show her support on multiple occasions! That is dedication, my friends! Eless gets five gold stars in our book for being an all-around spectacular character in the midst of all our RhyDin cronies, plus an extra two just because she is really, really ridiculously good-looking. I mean really, folks. Looks of her caliber deserve to be carved in marble and preserved in museums. In fact' I'm commissioning someone right now. Anyone know a good marble sculptor for the sexiest woman in RhyDin?