“All right folks. You all know why we’re here I’m sure –”

“Because this is an ungoverned land and we’ve got month end quotas to fill!”

“That’s right! Our paychecks don’t just write themselves like they do out at Twilight Isle!”

“People get paid for going there"”

“You’d think it’d be more popular.”

“Enough enough! We’re here to teach the people of this town that they should fear the law and respect our badge! I want each and every one of you to fill your necessary quotas by the end of the month! Keep your eyes peeled, or the villain lurking in every dark shadow of this place will peel them for you! No longer will we be the joke of this town! I want to fill these jails and line our pockets with bail money and fines —-”

“We’ve got limited space in the cells as it is Captain. After last week’s jail break…”

“Which reminds me – No orcs! Leave them alone. Locking them up costs us too much in construction repairs. Hit the streets everyone! Let's roll out!”

——————-

((OOC: Basic premise is that there’s some overzealous new hires on the Watch and there’s a breakout of arrests all over the place. What’s your character going to get picked up for" Encouraging minor to overly ridiculous infractions! Icons for participation! Post below your story! Please have fun with the setting / writing prompt!))

“Charlie Eight dispatch need assist. Lost pursuit of suspect on foot in Docks – last seen north of Scuttlebutt and Raven.”

“Charlie Eight confirm, go for channel 5. Report.”

“Response to 10-15 at 14:45 Scuttlebutt and Parrot. Suspect wanted for multiple assault and battery's with a deadly weapon, multiple instances of destruction of property, and resisting arrest....”

“Dispatch confirm, escalating disturbance call to emergency. Description"”

“Suspect is six foot Caucasian male, brown hair, medium build in white long sleeve button down and brown suspenders, gloves, slacks, and boots. Notable eyepatch over right eye and hip holster with firearm. ID is 'Elitia Vance Turner', alias 'Mach'.”

“Dispatch Charlie Eight, confirm: six foot Caucasian male, brown hair, eye patch right eye, white long sleeve button down, brown suspenders, gloves, pants, and boots. Armed with handgun and currently on foot last seen heading north of Scuttlebutt and Raven. ID: Elitia Turner or Mach.”

“Confirmed. Code 5 ID"”

“Code 5....hold on. Um, standby Charlie Eight.”

“Standby' Repeat dispatch you want me to standby' I'm in hot pursuit of an armed and dangerous criminal!”

“Charlie Eight, desk wants a direct, standby for call.”

"....Charlie Eight, standing by for call..."

Brrr~ring

"Let me get this right...you're arrestin' me because I'm black?"

That right there had the two officers sharing a look before quickly setting their sights on Terry.

"No! It has nothing to do with your skin color-" "By the way, I don't see in color." said the shorter one with thick black glasses. "Yeah, Paul doesn't see in color! But like I was saying, it has nothing to do with your skin color. It's because of THIS right here!"

What were they showing" A glass bottle. One that had tea in it before Terry decided to, you know, drink it...and then throw it away once empty.

"This should be recycled." "Yeah. Recycled."

"Okay I'm pretty sure this is about me being black now."

She didn't really think it was that but it was fun watching them get upset

"IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT AT ALL!" "We're going to add resisting arrest if you keep that up! And...what else?" "Slander?" "Yeah! Slandering officers of the law!"

"I didn't see any recyclin' can around here anyway." Not that she'd actually pay attention because trash is trash and she's not at all focused on the environment — just don't tell someone like Gren that.

"It's the green one right over there!" They both pointed over to the green trash can farther away. Terry really couldn't make it out without squinting.

"Except I was coming from...that way." She's pointing in the opposite direction. "So I didn't see it all the way over there." Turning her finger to point at the green trash can in the distance.

Then began the talks of how that shouldn't matter, she should know better, this is her fault and they were just doing their job.

"What's this all about?" Terry turned to see some guy beyond six foot stepping in on the scene. She was quick to point at the officers. "They're tryin' to arrest me 'cus I'm black."

"NO! WE'RE! NOT!" "My brothers wife is black! WE'RE NOT RACIST!"

"Is it 'cus she's human?" The guy added.

Oh. Maybe she should have went with that too. The George guy is an elf.

"YEAH. Is it 'cus I'm HUMAN?" She made sure to speak up a little louder.

"Wait...George," Now the two watch members huddled and whispered at each other.

"Alright...we're going to let you off easy with a ticket." "Yeah. A ticket."

A small crowd started to form around at that point so it was a good idea for them to scram ASAP...or, wait — George had the thought. Could they haul them all in for an unlawful assembly' That's a thing, right' They huddled again and talked it over.

"You know, you can probably just walk away.." The tall guy said with a psst, psst over to Terry.

He's right. The two watch guys looked far too busy trying to figure out how many charges they can rack up right now and weren't really looking at her.

"MS. KING ARE YOU GETTING ARRESTED"!" "OOO! SCANDALOUS!" And now there's a group of St. Mary's girls in full uniform taking video...So this would look really really good for the office when they see her giving the camera a thumbs up then a shushing gesture before booking it from the scene.

When she booked it the crowd started getting the same idea.

"...Okay, unlawful assembly and noise complaints. We can go with that." "Yeah. That!" "We break in three and round them all up...one," "Two.." "Three!"

The two sprung into action and looked around quickly with handcuffs ready.

"George..?" "Paul..?" "We didn't slip into another dimension again, right?" "...No, I think they all just ran away.." "We don't have to tell the chief about this, right?" "Let's not.."

“Halt!”

Jewell paused, pushing her sunglasses up into her hair so she could arch a brow and give the officer a long stare. He was young and would be handsome if he wasn’t so pimply and bothered to shave off the peach fuzz he likely considered a beard. More amused than anything, she suppressed her smile, “Is there a problem, sir"”

“You’re under arrest!”

Her grey eyes widened at that and she almost laughed, “For"”

“The crime of being too beautiful.”

Now she did laugh, sweet as honey. “Oh is that all" I confess, I’m guilty as charged. What are you going to do about— Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing"” Quicker than she imagined, the officer had slapped handcuffs around her right wrist and was wrenching her left arm back to imprison the other. “This isn’t funny! Unhand me this instant.”

“Nothing funny about breaking the law, ma’am.”

While she protested and cursed him in at least four different languages, he tried to push her head down and get her into the back of the car. When she resisted—of course she resisted—and bit him' He tazed her. She went more willingly after that.

“Dispatch' Bringing a live one in. You copy?”

“We copy.”

Shale breathed a sigh of relief when the beeping stopped. The sound had not been good for his concentration, even though he'd maintained enough to keep his cellmate in line. Now that it was gone, the warlock was able to refocus his thoughts and the murderous look in the orc's eyes slowly dimmed to one of more subdued violence.

"I said no orcs! Didn't I" Didn't I say no orcs?" demanded the captain whose eyes spotted the pair in the cell as he walked in.

"But, Captain, we didn't arrest the orc!" replied the officer, partner to the pimply faced lad who was ignoring this conversation and continuing to stare at the sphere in his hand, or maybe it was the first two spiders to have crawled out of it and begin scurrying up his arm.

"I see." replied the captain, scorn dripping from his voice. "I am pretty sure that is an orc in one of my cells."

"help" mouthed the young officer, though no sound managed to pass his lips. A dozen more spiders had exited the sphere.

The orc in question sat in the middle of Shale's cell, just to the left of the hole it had dug its way up out of. Its skin a pale, putrid gray, was wrinkled and wet. If the pair had looked more closely they would have noted patches where there was no skin at all. In a couple bone was clearly visible and one looked like a bolt hole straight through its chest.

"Yes, Captain." answered the officer as it was quite obviously an orc in the cell.

The captain rolled his eyes and turned to pick up the arrest paper work. "What's the scrawny human in for?"

"help, help, help....by all that's holy, help" pleaded the arachnophobic officer, though still unable to make the sound. The spiders counted several hundred by now. They marched up his arm, over a shoulder and down his back and leg to the floor. From there they'd begun a progression towards the cell.

"Human trafficking," answered the arresting officer. "He was picked up soliciting around the morgue."

"Really' He doesn't look like a slaver. Have you told him that he can be released once he purchases the permit?"

"Yessir, but he refused. Says something about live ones not being as useful and mostly wanting just blood and hair. Jimmy is looking to see if there is a separate permit for parts."

"Parts, blood and hair??" The two were far too engrossed in their own banter to have noticed the further progression of the spiders. Tens of thousands had found their way into the cell now, skittering around Shale and climbing ontop of each other into a mass the size of a small dog. "Lords below, Frank, you arrested a warlock."

"HEEEELLLP!" The scream finally broke, though with it so did the man. The pimply officer feinted as the millionth spider left his person and continued the parade into the cell. He crashed to the prison floor.

In the cell the formation continued to grow as more and more of the spiders gathered. As it approached the rough size on an ox Shale's golden eyes sparkled and he released the spell he'd been putting together while the officers spoke. Dark mana encircled the mass of arachnids and pulled them into its fold as if they were fuel. The sound of a million skittering spiders stopped as one six foot spider was left in it's wake.

With the warlock's attention on the spider, the ghoulish orc felt a slack on the magical leash of control that kept it from killing him. Having been recently in a grave, it was used to spiders and crawling things so paid that creature no mind. It was Shale who needed to die. It's purple tongue flicked the length of one long yellowed fang as it stood and took a step.

The officers, at least the ones who were still conscious, watched with slacked jaws as one leg of the spider flashed through the air like a scythe and neatly separated the orc's head from its shoulders. It made a squishing sound as it struck the floor and rolled through the bars to rest at their feet.

"We'd like to leave now, if you don't mind," said Shale. "Hmm...well, once she's done." he corrected as the spider had begun to eat the remains of Shale's previous minion.

"Frank....get the key."

"Fine," said in such a tone that indicated it was not fine, Penny issued another request. "Well then at least let me make my one phone call or I swear on all that you think to be sacred those spiders you saw earlier will be nothing compared to what I'll —" A hand clamped hard over Penny's mouth suddenly.

"Don't finish that sentence deary, that's how I got locked up in here." Whispered the little old lady covered in off white robes. She lowered her hand and then shuffled away to one side of the cell.

"Okay okay. ONE phone call. Give me the number and I'll slip the receiver through the bars." Declared one of the guards on duty. Penny paused for a moment, hesitant before doing as instructed and then turned to try and face one of the stone walls of the cell in an effort for privacy. She couldn't believe she had to actually call him.

~Ring Ring!~

The phone rang for perhaps fifteen seconds before someone picked up, the voice on the other end getting increasingly familiar. "D's Nuts....and Bolts. What can I do for you?"

"D! Hi, it's Penny." Your wife. "I —- well, I need to ask a huge favor. There was an incident today and well?" Enough hemming and hawing woman, "I need you to come bail me out. I'm in jail."

"Oh!" It was just a few heartbeats and little more, the time in which his tone changed from everyday accommodating to pleasantly patronizing. There was a soft humorous edge limning the words. "Hi, honey. Man, am I glad to hear from you. I was havin' the best dream last night. You were there. You see, it all started with the sensual da—" It cut off abruptly when she cut to the point of her call. "Jail." The tone was more perplexed than flat. It quickly grew curious, but cautious. "Jail. And you need me. What exactly did you do?"

"I didn't do anything! I'm innocent," protesting for both him and then reminding the guards on the other side of the bars. "But the Watch just showed up at a very inopportune time, started shouting and have shoved me in a jail cell. They've taken my things, claiming its evidence and I just didn't know what to do or who to call and —-" She was cut off by the sound of a phone operator's voice coming on the line. Please add five coppers for three additional minutes, otherwise your call will disconnect in the next twenty seconds. "Please D. I wouldn't have called you if it wasn't serious. 32nd Precinct!"

"Penny....Penny!" As if it were such an uncommon thing, D's voice grew gravely serious for a moment. "What. Did. You. Do?"

"They've charged me with public indecency. Can you bring me some clothes too in case they don't give me my things back?" As if having to call her new husband to bail her out of jail enough. She's discovering new levels of complete mortification today.

"Public....indecency." Clearly he was allowing that revelation to set in and, in turn, giving her those moments to draw the same conclusion. The one that took them back to the start of things. "I KNEW IT!" And then he hung up.

————-

D was kind enough to pick her up, and even bring her clothes to change into, but once they were outside of the precinct….

“So. Story time.”

There was a sigh, but Penny knew that she owed him the full story and wasn't going to get away without telling him anything. "I was going to a hot-springs that a friend of mine told me about. She says the kami there will help my leg." Her palm laid flat on her left upper thigh as if that gesture would explain her need for the visit. "So I get to the hot springs, which are secluded by the way, it's not a public place or anything," quick to mention as she looks D's way. "and I've got most of my clothes almost all off and these fools," gesturing to the precinct in general, "start popping out of nowhere shouting about public indecency and asking if I have a permit for my axe in my bag. And then before I know it, I'm face down in the ground with this officer cuffing my hands behind my back."

"So you're tellin' me a bunch of creepy cops were playing peeping tom in the bushes," D paused to let that sink in before continuing. "Waiting to spy you in your knickers and haul you off. Jesus, this city has lost it's damned mind. Again. So, they jumped you like that and....wait, did they arrest Kami too?"

((Thank you to D's player for working with me to get this up!))

It had finally warmed up, and the petite blonde found herself with a craving for ice cream. But not just any ice cream, of course. No, the first warm days of approaching summer demanded something in particular. It took her a little while to find exactly what she wanted, but eventually Tahlia found herself leaned up against the back quarter panel of her Spitfire, with a chocolate and vanilla swirl of soft serve ice cream in a cone. She’d pulled her hair back into a messy bun, to keep it from flying into her treat, and the sun glinted off the golden strands that escaped. She looked...like a poster on a teenage boys wall, right down to the smile as she swirled her tongue around the melting ice cream to keep it from dripping down her fingers.

Grinning like a Cheshire Cat, she didn’t notice the two eager Watchmen approaching as she slid the phone from her back pocket, and snapped a few selfies, mid-lick, and possibly playing up a little for the handsome Selkie those shots were being sent to. Holding the ice cream aside for a moment, she sent the pictures to their intended target. This, of course, then had her rushing to keep the drips from her clothes, and her without napkins.

The taller of the two nudged his partner, as if both men's attention hadn’t already been on the blonde, and pointed his chin in her direction. “We oughta bring her in…”

The shorter Watchman, round-faced and a little less worldly, stammered, watery blue eyes darting from woman to partner and back. “Her" B-but why' Jendell - she’s just…really enjoying her ice cream…”

Watchman Jendell grinned, almost leering. “Yeah, but Sellers…look at her...that’s gotta be a crime…” With a smirk, he set off, striding toward the still-oblivious Tahlia.

——————- Several Hours Later——————-

After a rather intriguing phone call from a police station, there was absolutely no way Ace wouldn’t make himself present to the current case at hand. Tahlia…. Got arrested" Whaaat" Oh, he just had to find out what that was about.

And… what better way to bail her out than to show up looking like gold lined his pockets with the soft, rumbling purr of a Cadillac engine" Dressed to the nines in a black suit - slacks, button up shirt - and a blood red, velvet material of a suit jacket, he’d walked in paid the handsome amount without blinking an eye. “Cash or check"” He’d merely asked. After signing his John Hancock to the piece of paper, they’d released her into his custody - and more than capable hands.

“I refused to let them tell me what happened…” He informed her, his overheated palm centered on her back as he lead her out of the station and toward his car. “But I want more than anything....currently… is to hear in your words what in the Hells Nine you did to get arrested…” He slid those deep coagulated crimson eyes toward her, arching a dark brow with intense curiosity as he lead her around the front of the car toward the passenger’s door. However, he didn’t quite reach for it yet. He wanted - no, needed - an explanation!

Tahlia rubbed at her wrists with a grimace, flexing her right hand as they stepped back out into the bright sunshine, and she looked over the Cadillac with a grin. Sensing that they weren’t getting into the car until she explained herself, she reached up to release her hair from its bun, and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. She wasn’t embarrassed - if anything she might get the papers framed and hung.

“I was eating ice cream. Soft serve. It’s been so cold, so I took out the Spitfire, and went looking. That’s all. Well, until I punched the tall, smirky one…” Those pale green eyes slid up to his face with a wink, and a saucy grin. She’d thought about calling Eddie, but for one, he’d probably still be either laughing, or tearing the Watch house apart, and she’d still be in a cell. Besides, what was the point in being the Devil’s darling, if you didn’t get to make calls like this. Not to mention, that single shot had almost broken the guys jaw - which is why her bail had been nearly…obscene. He shouldn’t have tried to put his hand there. “Apparently that was enough to get me charged with ‘Public Acts of Indecency’ - and resisting arrest, assault of a Watch officer…” Oops.

He simply stood there, waiting for an answer… but he hadn’t quite expected the one he’d gotten. The more she explained, the higher his brows soared until they threatened the integrity of his hairline. He eyed her skeptically the moment she mentioned soft-serve ice cream, and he was fighting delighted laughter audibly, but it twinkled Hellishly in those dark eyes. It brought life to them all on it’s own, and ignited them with an impish flare that perhaps only a devil could appreciate.

Relenting, he spilled a chuckle as his shoulders shook with more silent laughter, his head tipping forward as one arm crossed over his stomach, the other propping on top of it so he could cup his bearded chin. Flaring fingers, he composed himself with a tick of brows to her. “When you say… eating ice cream....do you mean, the way most people do… or the way you do, ma petite colombe. I have to admit, you sometimes get carried away,” he flashed a fiendish smile to her, “....it didn’t happen to be chocolate or cherry flavored, would it"” His brows soared, feigning innocent curiosity of flavor reference to anyone looking in on the conversation. But there was a secretive, intimate twinge to his voice that was known only to them it’s meaning.

“It was not.” She winked, still running her fingers through her hair, bare skin twitching occasionally. “First one of the year has to chocolate and vanilla swirl. It’s a rule.” Whose rule didn’t matter, maybe it was just her being a smartass. “Ugh. I swear there’s a spider on me…somewhere, the place was crawling with them.” She twisted to look at her back, and try to hide the delighted sparkle in her eyes at having amused him so very much. “What do you mean carried away" It was very good ice cream, and it was melting...and I might have taken a few pictures to send Eddie…” Satisfied, for the moment at least, that there were no arachnids accompanying her home, Tahlia batted wide, guileless eyes up at her savior, and darted up on tip toe to kiss his cheek. “It’s not my fault the tall one decided grabbing my ass was going to make me ‘cooperate with the authorities’ - they’re lucky I’m not charging them for the ice cream he’s now sucking through a cracked jaw. You should sic one of your lawyers on them.” Because of course he had one, according to a lot of people, he had all of them. “Just as long as I don’t have to go to court or anything.” She didn’t need that kind of attention.

“A rule that you actually follow"” His brows soared incredulously, as if she was trying to break his mind. “Since when"” He chuckled softly, those dark eyes shifting toward those fingers in her hair. Raising a brow, he answered her bluntly. “....Carried away, like that time we got ice cream and didn’t remain at the parlor for long.” They’d decided to go back to his place and make their own sundaes. Snickering, he shook his head. “Oh, if you were posing, you certainly got carried away…” He mused, squinting at her suspiciously. “I’m almost sorry I missed it…” He murmured, his cheek tipping into the kiss she bestowed on him. His smile spread into a delighted one at the mention of a cracked jaw. “I’m definitely sorry I missed it, then…” He changed his mind.

Lifting his chin, he seemed to consider it. “...I may be able to arrange one of my lawyers to take care of it. Perhaps compensation for the horrible trauma you’ve faced,” he stuck out that bottom lip in a feigned pout before he chuckled, movement catching his eye before he reached out. Catching one of those eight legged freaks that had decided to peek out now that she wasn’t ruffling her hair, he settled his finger close to it, allowing it to crawl on him and away from her. Once there, he flicked it away and cast his eyes to her. “I’m glad to hear the bail was well worth it, give ‘em Hell, ma cherie,” he hummed.

She managed not to squeal as he removed the spider from its hiding spot, but there was no missing the full body shiver. Even if she did try with a saucy wink. She couldn’t really argue with any of his points, save one. “I follow your rules, mon cher...” Granted, those weren’t particularly difficult, thus far. “Would you? It was wretched - there were all the spiders, and Constable Grabass moaning about his jaw, and I think an ogre...a rotting, nasty thing, and a giant spider. I’m going to need ages of therapy. Or at least a spa day to try and recover. Maybe Kami can join me.” She reached up and slid her hands down his lapels. “Get your lawyer to make the Watch reimburse you, just for the principle of it…” Laughing brightly, she stepped back, all sun-kissed skin, and dangerously delicious “Of course it was worth it, mon vilain - now I can go back to causing some real mischief…”

People were packed into the busy thoroughfare that ran from the shipyards up into the heart of the city, a (mostly) humanoid mass that began at the fish markets and ended at the crumbling temple spires at the top of the hill. It was a warm day, and the city seemed eager to make the most of it, filling out this and countless other avenues as they went about their day, running the errands they’d been putting off or hawking their wares.

Despite being packed shoulder-to-shoulder in places, most of the crowd instinctively moved around a figure standing atop a large barrel: a Watch officer, from the 13th precinct of something-or-other based on the patches on his stuffy, unbuttoned tunic. The sunlight glinted off his copper badge, a warning beacon to the many locals who had heard a great deal about “arrest quotas” by now.

He narrowed his eyes at the crowd, scanning the faces nearby for the faintest whiff of criminality, until he found an offender: a short-haired figure in the crowd, pinching the buttocks of her companion hard enough to make her jump. “Indecency,” the man hissed through his teeth, delighted at the breakthrough, and startled several people when he leapt from the barrel to move through the crowd.

He pushed people away by the shoulder with his hand or the end of his baton, ignoring their dirty looks as he moved ever closer to his quarry…

* * * * *

Mallory slid her free hand into Eri’s as they walked up the road from Panacea, away from the docks and towards the narrow, busy lane that was Kabuki Street. Her free hand was occupied with her flip phone, scrolling through texts from Safiya about visits to prospective store locations (and how badly they’d all gone), trusting in Eri’s pathfinding and strength enough to let herself lose track of her surroundings without worry.

There was the security detail, too, but the crowd was thick today with people out shopping and selling on a nice day. Whenever a few random people were successfully glared, glowered, or shoved out of the short distance between the security girls and their assignment, a few more slipped right in to replace them.

Eri was preoccupied, still grinning from the pinch and enjoying the sunny weather. She had not seemed to mind when their detail became separated, and moved through the crowd with a deceptively gentle finesse gained through years of city living. Nevertheless, she sensed someone beelining toward them faster than the rest of the crowd, though she was not sure what it might portend.

She looked at Mallory, about to speak, but saw her distracted with her phone. It was then that a strident voice rang out behind them, insistent as it called: “Hey! Hey, you! Hey!”

The witch let out a single annoyed “tch” and the delinquent’s eyes narrowed a bit, but she kept her focus on Mallory as they picked up the pace away from whoever wanted their attention so badly. This lasted until Eri saw a hand come to rest on the witch’s shoulder.

Before the witch could react, the delinquent was growling, “These guys around here never learn with their sexual harassment!” as the furious half-oni reached out with both hands and grasped the arms of the assailant. A simple grunt of effort escaped Eri as she hurled the offender towards the nearest alley with perfect aim.

“Aaaaaaaugh!”

was the sound the offending figure made as he sailed through the air. The witch blinked after him, startled by his grasp and the swiftness of Eri’s reaction, but her gaze caught a few curious details that flashed in the sunlight: the polished copper buttons on his uniform, and the badge on his breast, briefly visible until he landed in a dumpster with a mighty FWUMP!

People were staring. A lot of people were staring. A few of them even produced phones and holopads to start recording. The witch turned in towards Eri, trying to conceal their faces as she said: “Hey uh, babe?”

Eri had missed those details, but was cooperating with Mallory’s efforts to conceal their faces. “Can you believe these guys"” she asked incredulously.

“That was a Watch officer!” Mal cut in with a quiet, insistent hiss.

“It was?!” Eri asked, blinking owlishly. She tapped her foot nervously, took a quick look around, and decided: “Let’s bolt!” No sooner had she suggested it than she snatched the witch’s hand and dashed through the crowd, leaving started onlookers and a concussed, garbage-smelling officer in their wake.

((Written with Eri's player! Thank you! ^^))

It was a beautiful late morning. Rand strolled toward the Marketplace. Everything was going well with Val and the twins. He wanted to surprise her with some fresh fruit. The winters were much less forgiving here and she’d was pregnant to boot. As he turned the corner onto the main thoroughfare, he nearly bumped into an officer of the Watch. “Pardon me Sir. I was lost in my own thoughts.” With a smile, Rand stepped around the man and continued onward. Not far down there was a stand that looked promising. It was stocked with greens and rhubarb and if he wasn’t mistaken, a few pints of berries. When he stopped in front he gave the proprietor a smile and bent to examine the goods.

“Ay der sur. Dem strawburries is de best ya kin git.”

Rand looked up at the farmer, taking in the weathered features and the hopeful look in his eye. “Is that right' You sure these are the best"”

“Aint none better. Sweet ‘n juicy as ya like. ‘Ere, try’un.” A worn hand picked a near perfect specimen of the red fruit and dropped it into Rand’s hand.

He lifted it to his lips and wrapped them around the plump red body, biting into the succulent flesh. His eyes closed as he chewed and then opened and he smiled at the farmer. “I think this might be the best ever grown. I’ll take them all.”

A loud voice called out behind him, overtop his last words. “Yeah that’s the guy! Awright, stop right there. You’re coming with us.” A hand landed on Rand’s shoulder and he spun to face the commotion. There were two officers. The one that had touched him was the one he’d nearly walked into before. The other stood a few steps back, holding up a taser with a bandaged hand. “No more sudden moves!” he shouted.

Rand blinked and then addressed the men. “What’s the problem' Should I raise my hands over my head or something"”

The first one responded. “You’re under arrest. Put your hands behind your back.” The one holding the taser was starting to shake a little bit and yelled again. “Slowly!”

Rand stood still with a bewildered look on his face. “Under arrest' For what"”

“Assaulting an Officer,” the first replied, taking Rand’s hands and putting them behind him, starting to cuff him. The second added “and theft!” As the cuffs clicked into place the officer turned to his partner. “What do you mean, theft' We’re picking him up for running into us in the street.” The taser waved at the stand. “He ate a strawberry without paying. Assault and theft!”

Rand gave a long sigh and looked over his shoulder at the farmer. “Please keep those for me, if you wouldn’t mind. I shouldn’t be long.” The man nodded and gathered the berries, pulling them off the display. He wasn’t about to mess with the Watch. “You don’t need that,” Rand said, nodding to the officer with the taser. I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

The first officer gave a little laugh and pushed Rand to start walking. “Put it away. This guy’s cooperating. Not like that screeching blue haired she devil. I can’t believe she bit you.” There was more laughter after that. The pimply youth flushed and holstered the taser. “She was crazy.”

Rand did his very best not to break into peals of laughter himself. If it was who he thought, this guy was lucky to not be a toad at the moment. But if she’d been picked up too… “you gents must be busy today, arresting two people.”

That earned a sneer from the youth. “We’ve arrested bunches. This town is a mess and we’re the ones gonna clean it up. Probably have to build a bigger jail.” They moved side by side, walking behind Rand down the street. Many heads turned, some jaws dropping open, others looking quickly away.

After a little walking, Rand stopped suddenly in front the open door of another shop. He got a nudge from behind. “Keep going. Gotta get you to the station.”

Rand turned and gave the girl coming from the store a big smile. “Good day to you Maria. How’s your mom and dad"”

The girl beamed back. “Mr. Rand! Mom and Dad say it’s always good when you show up! Are those policemen"”

He gave a little chuckle. “Yes they are. And you know what they like, right"”

Maria laughed and smiled and clapped her hands. “They like donuts!”

Rand was given another shove. “Keep moving. This isn’t funny. You want resisting arrest too"”

Ignoring the pushes, Rand addressed Maria. “Tell your Mom and Dad that Mr. Rand wants four, no, five dozen donuts delivered to the station. Can you do that"”

“Sure thing Mr. Rand!” Maria darted back into the store and he turned, finally stepping the direction he was being pushed.

The thin young officer smugly spoke up. “Gonna have to add bribery to the list!” Rand gave a quick glance to the thicker, older officer, catching a look in his eye and a lick of his lips. As he was guided to the station, he started to whistle softly. It was a beautiful late morning.

The guy looked nothing like his profile picture in RhydR. Lucy had checked the dating app one last time before she approached him at the bar. He was at least ten years older than his picture, and there was no way this guy was 6'4".

"Michael?" She tipped her head and offered him an uncertain smile.

"Lucy' Wow! I mean, hey."

"Yeah, hi. Nice to meet you."

But what was the worst thing that could happen" A waste of thirty minutes and a glass of wine"

"Damn am I glad you swiped right." He laughed nervously directing her to a table. "Can I get you a drink?"

“Sure.” She smiled.

Two glasses of chardonnay later and Lucy was starting to think maybe this online dating thing wouldn’t be so bad. Sure, he didn’t look much like his picture. But he was witty, dressed well, and he seemed relatively normal. For Rhy'Din anyhow.

“Oh yeah, you gotta see the running of the welters some time.” He gestured with his pint glass in her direction. “The whole riverside is covered in these silvery glowing—-”

"Mike DeOrio?"

"Uh, no." Michael looked over his shoulder at the two men in suits standing next to the table.

Lucy raised a brow looking between them. “Uhh…"”

"Mr. DeOrio I'm hereby serving you with this warrant for your arrest on charges of forgery, solicitation, and racketeering. If you’ll stand up. Turn around sir."

"Solicitation?" Lucy's lips parted, eyes wide.

"No listen, you've got the wrong guy—HEY!" The detective pushed the guy over onto the table in front of Lucy and started to pull his arms behind his back. "You’re making a mistake!”

“No, Mr. DeOrio, we’re sure we’re not.” By now the entire bar had stopped talking to stare at them.

As the officer snapped on the cuffs, Michael pleaded with Lucy. “This is a mistake, okay' Don’t go anywhere! I'll be back before you finish your next drink!"

"Are you serious right now?"

"Ow—not so rough man!" The officers dragged up Lucy's date and started to haul him off. "I'll be back! WE HAD A CONNECTION!"

"I am NOT a vampire! Are you insane"! I am albino! That is not vampiric!" Pharlen barked as she was hustled from a small bookshop, "I am looking for my husband's uncle!" "Skip it, lady, we were sent here to pick up a vampire before she could attack an innocent mage trying to enjoy the books," the guardswoman snapped as she dragged along the small and furious albino.

"You jumped when we put the holy water in front of you, that's vampire," her partner, a large half ogre man, agreed.

"That's true neutral, you big dumb ape!" Pharlen complained, "Who's your superior"! What're your names"! What are your badge numbers"!"

"I'm Danna Schoals, he's Mik Twobear," the woman responded easily.

"I want to talk to your superior!"

"Put a cork in it," Danna exhaled, rolling her eyes in exasperation. Mik helpfully clamped a hand around the timelord's mouth. Pharlen glowered. She abruptly went along with the pair, rather than to ditch them and go about her business.

She was going to bust those two down to crossing guards.

The guards hauled Pharlen into the station. They deposited her into a cell before walking quickly away.

"You bring your boss here right now, you – you – you..." Pharlen hollered, abruptly unable to come up with the appropriate analogies for the pair.

"I am NOT a Vampire!" Pharlen yelled, then she paused, hearing an all too familiar ringing of spurs. She stared as Halcyon walked to the cell.

"Oh, you are so dead," Pharlen promised. Halcyon smiled.

"Revenge for not sending me back when I asked," the paladin purred. Pharlen choked, and sputtered, waving her arms. Halcyon snickered, unlocking the cell before fleeing from the outraged Mariner.

"I'll get you for this!" Pharlen managed to squawk.

"Vengeance was done!" Halcyon yelled back from somewhere in the building. Pharlen twitched.

"Fine!"

Grumbling, Pharlen stalked from the cell.