06-17-07

I can't tell you how many times I've often wished I'd had a more exciting and fascinating childhood. That there was some locked away tidbit that would keep you enchanted with me, but I really can't recall anything that would. Unless you count the most dramatic memory that I hold dear to my heart about growing up. In that case, that would be the night that my mother told us that we, meaning my twin brother and I, biologically had no father....That we were conceived purely from the magic of one, Phantom Kerrazy and the heart of Twilight Isle herself.

Kolanos and I were still very young when this, Kerrazy chose to leave my mother's side. I honestly can't recall much of him, or who he was. I only have the memory orbs that my mother has finally allowed me access to. I've yet to be brave enough to open them for my own viewing, whether or not Kolanos has, I am not sure of that either.

I'm not sure whether or not I really do wish to remember him, even if it's just by the memory orbs. I've never really given it much thought until recently. I never saw myself as anything but Dracos Drasoini's daughter. The three of us, Amber, Kolanos and myself grew up for several winters without a father figure in our lives after one, Kerrazy had left my mother. Though I honestly believe it did not impact us as it would have most children. We were very fortunate in that area, because Mother had her brother....Our Uncle Cory. He was also there to lend a stern hand when we disobeyed mother, he was always there to answer questions that Mother could not find the answers to. There was also Rak as well, Mother's childhood guardian and confidant, but Rak....Well Rak was always a bit to intimidating for me to go to, I often found myself confiding in Uncle Cory. Though slightly intimidating to most, he was never anything but a kind hearted man to me.

Winters passed and we grew in many ways, though the scandals that ripped through the Isles, forced my brother and I to grow up a bit more rapidly than others.

Though I remember it vaguely, I do remember that it was shortly after Amber had run away from home when it all began, but....That is a story I really should not go into depth on, for it really isn't much of my business and I really don't know all the details. I suppose those as well as everything else of my Mother's past are contained in those orbs, but again I'm not so sure I'm brave enough to look into them yet.

But I do remember the day the day that my Mother changed again, the day that her smile was not forced for the sake of her children....But was genuine and filled with happiness and love once again.

I assume that day is the day I realized just how much of a hopeless romantic I had really become. Seeing the love lighting her eyes as well as Dracos'....Feeling the love they shared, it was electrifying in the air around them.

Growing up with my twin, was always....Quite boring in a sense. We had been told so many times that we were the epitome of perfect children. We rarely fought or argued, though we may not have been as close as most twins, there was not a hint of sibling rivalry between us. I did however notice changes between myself and Kolanos. I'd become the more indrawn of us as we grew older and he the more outgoing. As a child and young teenager, I was always the one that would be welcoming of new people, ready to talk their ear off, but when I got older....That changed.

But I believe that is enough about my past for now, I'd purchased this book weeks ago for the very purpose of using it as a means to compose my thoughts and writings together in a more organized mannerism. If I constantly write about my past, I will never be able to write about my current thoughts until I am much much older and it wouldn't have mattered any longer.

-S.K.D.

06-20-07

I have been spending more and more time with Brendan lately, and I'm most certain this is a good thing now.

You see, one of the evenings I had spent with Brendan, Cailet had said something that caused me to have a slight accident. I think it might have been the moment I realized that I was having the slightest bits of feelings for him, instead of just the heightened curiosity, of a woman coming into those sensitive emotions.

The glass I had been drinking from, I had carelessly and clumsily knocked it to the floor, it shattered. I immediately moved from the couch to start picking up the glass and Brendan was by my side offering to help. I was startled by his actions, and this had only added to that clumsiness as I cut my left, index finger on the glass while trying to pick it all up. He had taken his own handkerchief and wrapped it caringly around my finger to suppress the flow of blood. There really wasn't that much, but it did smart a bit. I could not believe it. I was so very embarrassed by my actions and by his, but I was also touched that he would care enough to use his own things to help me. I was slightly baffled and embarrassed, but nevertheless I let it go and Cailet bandaged my wounded finger.

At any rate, I remember immediately apologizing to him and telling him that I would wash, dry and press his cloth as soon as possible and return it to him the next evening if he would be in the Inn, but he had told me to keep it. I was still not to certain of what that meant, or if it had meant anything at all.

When I returned home that evening I did in fact, wash it and dry it. I spent several moments just running my fingertips over the cloth, and then the idea formed in my mind.

The next day I made a trip to the finest silk weaver I've ever known in my life. She came highly recommended by my Mother, so of course this would be the one I'd seek out for such a gift. I explained to her what I had wanted, though in a sense it seemed rather a bit to simple a gift. I held hopes that regardless, he would like them.

I spent most of the earlier part of the day with Lysinthe, watching her work the threads and dyes. It was late afternoon when they were finally completed, and I could not help to giggle and adore the finished product. Though simple, I thought they were quite elegant.

There were three of them in total — They were woven of the purest of white silks that could be found, bleached and blanched with hours of care to perfect the tone of white to be used. In the lower right corner, I'd had Lysinthe embroider his name in an elegant script. I'd had to settle with only his first name, seeing as I hadn't been privy to his last name yet. It was a specially woven silk that held his name, one that was laced with pure magic, never to loose it's stunning coloring of that rich azure. In the upper left corner, there was another embroidered image, a book....An open book, the pages turning. Gold threading edged the pages, and a darker brown was the cover of the book. The borderline of the handkerchiefs was a brilliant silver coloring. I ran my fingertips over them, satisfied with her work. We folded and wrapped them carefully within a small box and I put it in my satchel so I could present them to him the next I saw him.

I believe I've written quite enough for tonight. I'm sure there will be more to tell soon. I can't wait to see Brendan again....I really can't.

-S.K.D.

06-28-07

Once again, my apologies for not writing any sooner. There has been so much going on lately, that I have neglected you. I will try to keep from doing that in the future, but I can keep no promises.

There is so much to write, that I honestly do not know where to start. I believe the most fitting would be the halt of the growing friendship between Brendan and I.

The evening after I had showed him the guest house, we were to sup with my family, so that they might meet him. It was a friendly gesture extended by my mother, but needless to say Brendan did not show up for that, nor the picnic the next night that Cailet had planned for us. That night as well, for Cailet was displeasing as her beau as well was nowhere to be found, and so far as I know, he as well seems to be missing.

Brendan's unannounced disappearance has caused me to worry about him and his well being. My first concern above all is that he is alright and nothing ill has befallen him. My second of course, would be what had driven him to leave without a word that night, or even during the morning while I slept. Today makes it one week since I've seen him, and there has been no missives, no word around town as to where he could have gone. My hopes grow fainter with each passing day and hour that he might return. I can only hope that he is alright wherever he is.

Aside from that, I have found myself with more spare time than usual, and I've found myself frequenting the duels more often to pass the time. I have been practicing more, and I would have to say that my luck with the hand to hand combat that mother is so very unfond of is not quite that displeasing. Though the bruising and the soreness afterwards, are a force to be reckoned with. I believe I shall seek out a personal physical trainer for that aspect.

Kolanos and I are turning twenty-one this coming Monday and I cannot believe how much time has passed. Amber will be turning sixteen the following Tuesday after mine and Kolanos' birthdays. In two months, our younger brother Max will be turning eight.

I believe that I will finally venture back to the Red Dragon Inn today, I have not returned since that evening to the establishment. I am not sure why, perhaps it is a fear that I might find Brendan there, perhaps it is a fear I might not find thim there. My Aunt and Uncle said to give Brendan more time, I believe they understand how I feel about him, though how can they when I am not sure how I feel exactly either? I know that in the time I had spent with him, he taught me a lot of things about myself. I know that regardless of whether he returns or not, I will always remember what he taught me.

I think I've written far enough for today, or at least for now. I might return later this evening before bed to write, depending on how the day turns out.

-S.K.D.