Of course he returned to the house. It was, in the end, the only thing he could do. Living at the Inn just wasn't going to work. It would only cause more problems in the long run and more problems was something he didn't need right now. There were going to be ghosts in the house, no doubt about it. He would do the best that he could to prepare.

It was night when he finally made the journey. He arrived home, a strange word to use for it now, well past dark. Fishing around under the front steps, he located the small key. Pausing briefly, he found himself actually holding his breath, he turned the lock. The door swung inward, seemingly of it's own accord, and it entered his mind that maybe there really were ghosts here.

A small warm breeze, smelling faintly musty, escaped past him as he took a step inside. He felt nothing as the darkness enveloped him. He had wondered on the journey here just how this moment would feel. It was difficult to decide whether the nothingness he felt was good or bad. Either way, he was home.

The darkness was no problem for him. He could walk the whole of the house, both upstairs and down, in the pitch black and not stumble. He had built the place. He could walk it even if he were blind. Of course that wasn't what he had planned, so he quickly found the lamp on the small table just where he knew it would be.

The lamp cast a dim, flickering light on the walls and ceiling. Rather than dispelling the gloom, it seemed to intensify it, creating a brief sense of foreboding in him. Wanting to shake the feeling, he quickly lit the two remaining lamps in the large room. With light to see by, it took only a few minutes to set alight the logs that had been left in the large stone fireplace. In a few minutes the place would be both warm and bright. Warmth and light, he suddenly felt in desperate need of both.

Still he could not shake the melancholy. The large wooden bookcases on either side of the fireplace were still nearly full. Only a few vacancies were noticeable and he didn't need to look to know which books were missing. He felt the ghosts starting to gather and he quickly shook himself and turned away.

He slipped the small flask from inside his coat as he sunk softly into the chair facing the fire. A drink of the strong scotch seemed to soothe him almost instantly. He needed to focus and, strangely, the alcohol seemed to help.

It would take time and work to make this place feel like a home again. Winter was practically here and he needed to get the place in order quickly. The house needed a thorough cleaning and airing, there was wood to be cut for the fire, and the roof needed to be checked to make sure it would hold against the weather. Then, back to town to get the food and other supplies he would need.

He sat in the chair and finished what remained in the flask. The fire was blazing now and,combined with the drink, put him at ease. There was much to be done and still he knew he hadn't seen the last of the ghosts.

"If music be the food of love; play on" (William Shakespeare)

And day lights, craving Sunshine on this frozen heart I am wishing you well Wondering how you are

If you and I are going under Maybe we can both recover And find forgiveness for each other Even if this is goodbye

And time heals But these scars keep on tearing us apart And sometimes ending is the only place to start

If you and I are going under (going under) Maybe we can both recover (we can recover) And find forgiveness for each other Even if this is goodbye

Is goodbye, is goodbye, is goodbye, is goodbye, is goodbye...

If you and I are going under Maybe we can both recover And find forgiveness for each other Even if

If what we had is really over If fate is out there we discover Let's find forgiveness for each other Even if this is goodbye.

(If This is Goodbye - Lifehouse)

He had awakened to a blanket of fresh snow. Only a few inches, but he thought it made everything seem clean and new. As he laced on his heavy boots and slipped back into his long woolen coat, he thought about what he had already accomplished this morning. The house had been swept clean and wiped down. It smelled almost as fresh inside now as the clean country air outside. He had inspected the roof, although his slight fear of heights and the slippery snow and ice made for a very quick but thorough investigation. The roof looked fine, and the additional snow proved that it would be no problem for the winter. Finally, he had spent a couple of hours chopping the fallen branches from the past Spring into enough firewood to get him through the winter. Things were coming along nicely.

As he sat, absently sharpening the blade on the heavy axe, he surveyed the land around him. It was beautiful, he had made a good choice on building his home here. This much land was a lot of work for one man but there was a price to be paid for solitude.

He walked the path that led past the lake and up the small, heavily wooded hill. The axe rested against his shoulder as he trod, whistling some vaguely remembered tune. It took an hour, maybe a little more, to get to the clearing. He had been clearing fallen trees and branches here last Spring when he noticed the small pine. He thought then it would make an excellent Christmas tree some day. This was the day.

The axe was sharp and the pine soft. It took only a few solid strokes to being it down. Taking off his coat, he slipped off the length of rope that had been coiled around his shoulder. Tying it around the the exposed trunk of the pine, he slipped his coat back on and dragged the tree back down the path to the cottage.

He had never spent the Holiday season without a tree and he saw no reason to start now. It didn't take long for him to build a small wooden stand and get the tree upright in the corner near the stone fireplace. Decorations were sparse but maybe he would find some later in town. For now, this would have to do. As he stepped back from it, he smiled. He thought it not much of a tree but it filled him with what some might describe as the holiday spirit. He just knew it made him feel better.

It was late afternoon now. He built a fire in the fireplace and sat his wet snowy boots to dry on the hearth. By the time he had returned from upstairs, where he changed into warm, dry clothes, the fire was blazing cheefully. He picked a book from the shelf and sat down in his favorite chair to read. Twisting the top from the bottle of scotch on the side table, he poured a small amount in a glass, swirling it slowly as he studied the fire. As he sipped the warm and potent drink, he thought that maybe things really would be okay. He had read perhaps three pages before falling asleep there in front of the fire. His dreams were pleasant.

Humiliation' That was far too soft a word. Rage" A far too lenient emotion. Words couldn't describe the whirlwind of feeling he was experiencing at the moment. He had just returned from the Inn, from possibly the worst night of his life. As he sat down in the chair in front of the smoldering fire, he picked up a glass and threw it into the fireplace, watching it shatter against the stonework. What had happened tonight" he asked himself. How did it get so out of hand?

The plan had been to stop at the Inn for a nice quiet drink in front of the fire and then home to an early bed. He was keeping to himself, making friendly small talk to someone and then Chase walked in. Chase, Cait's new boyfriend. Chase, the guy who treated Cait like mud on the bottom of his shoe, like a convenience, like an after thought. Then a few minutes later, Cait came down the stairs. She waited like a servant until Chase found the time to speak to her.

He tried to ignore it, he really did. He tried to ignore the way Chase spoke to Cait, tried to ignore the way she groveled after him. Afterall, he hadn't treated Cait much better. He had abandoned her for nearly a year with no word when, or if, he would return. He understood why she hated him, that was clear.

Even if he had never loved her, hell, if he'd never met her, he would have intervened. No woman needs to be treated that way. He knew it, in spite of his own shortcomings. So, he tried. He tried to make her understand, tried to get her to listen. All he did was make a fool of himself.

He knew the truth now, and there was some consolation in knowing. Before this night, he had allowed himself to think that she was still his. That somewhere in her heart, she still loved him, still knew his heart. That things would all work out and she would come back to him. He knew now that she was lost to him forever. She wasn't his Lizzie anymore and never would be again.

If music be the food of love; play on. (William Shakespeare)

Now that it's all said and done, I can't believe you were the one To build me up and tear me down, Like an old abandoned house. What you said when you left Just left me cold and out of breath. I fell too far, was in way too deep. Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls, Dragged the memories down the hall, Packed your bags and walked away. There was nothing I could say. And when you slammed the front door shut, A lot of others opened up, So did my eyes so I could see That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. Well I'm putting my heart back together, 'Cause I got over you. Well I got over you. I got over you. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you.

(Over You - Daughtry)

It was another grey morning and the weather was as bleak as his mood. More snow had fallen and he was tired, bone tired, of clearing it. Moving into the foothills, building the cottage here, had been a good decision but he really hadn't thought much about the snow.

It had virtually trapped him here for a month. It cleared for a few days, allowing him to get out for more supplies, before practically burying the cottage again. He had plenty of wood, food and other supplies, and the structure and plumbing were solid. He was actually surprised how well the place had stood up to the weather.

Now, as he climbed from a warm bed to a chilly room, he mused over the past few weeks and months. The holiday season had come and gone. He had spent it alone but that was by choice. His new friend, at least that's what she professed to be, had stayed away when he asked. He was certain he had hurt her feelings but he just wasn't ready to be cheered up. He needed the time alone. Sure, being alone on the holiday's stung a little but he needed to feel it. He somehow needed to feel the pain that loneliness brought.

Now, he slipped a robe around himself and walked quickly across the hardwood floor to the fireplace. The dark cherry hardwood was beautiful but always so damned cold in the morning. A few logs later, a small but growing fire was dancing in the hearth. The loft warmed quickly as he turned on the shower and waited for the water to warm. The water heater was old but it worked and held more than enough hot water for daily use.

As the warm water coursed over him, he found his mood steadily improving. He scrubbed his body with the coarse soap as he thought about his new friend. He had met her long ago at the Inn and had merely greeted her in passing. A few days later she had left a note here at his then unfinished house but there was no more contact. It had been more than a year when she next spoke to him. It was another note asking if he'd finished the cottage and saying she would like to see it sometime. His reply had been cordial but he told her he wasn't ready to entertain anyone just yet. She had been persistent, maybe even a little annoying, but had finally relented when he made it clear that he simply wanted to be alone for a time.

Now, as he stepped from the shower, water dripping from his dark hair, he thought maybe he was ready. Maybe now. He whistled his way back into the bedroom to dress, leaving wet footprints on the hardwood.

If music be the food of love; play on. (William Shakespeare)

Paper bags and plastic hearts All are belongings in shopping carts It's goodbye But we got one more night Let's get drunk and ride around And make peace with an empty town We can make it right

Throw it away Forget yesterday We'll make the great escape We won't hear a word they say They don't know us anyway Watch it burn Let it die Cause we are finally free tonight

Tonight will change our lives It's so good to be by your side But we'll cry We won't give up the fight We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs And they'll think it's just cause we're young And we'll feel so alive

Throw it away Forget yesterday We'll make the great escape We won't hear a word they say They don't know us anyway Watch it burn Let it die Cause we are finally free tonight

All of the wasted time The hours that were left behind The answers that we'll never find They don't mean a thing tonight

Throw it away Forget yesterday We'll make the great escape We won't hear a word they say They don't know us anyway

Throw it away Forget yesterday We'll make the great escape We won't hear a word they say They don't know us anyway

Throw it away Forget yesterday We'll make the great escape We won't hear a word they say They don't know us anyway Watch it burn Let it die Cause we are finally free tonight

(BOYS LIKE GIRLS - The Great Escape)

Journal Entry 2.13

I actually got out of the house last night. A big step. As usual, it didn't go as I planned but it was fun in it's own way. Thought Bryn just wanted to meet and get reacquainted. Turns out she thought it was a date. She looked good and maybe I should have taken her out. Just wasn't sure what she was expecting. Think I hurt her feelings but she wouldn't show it. She puts on a pretty strong exterior but I think she's pretty soft under all that. I think maybe I'll invite her for dinner and find out.

If music be the food of love; play on. (William Shakespeare)

catch me as i fall say you're here and it's all over now speaking to the atmosphere no one's here and i fall into myself this truth drives me into madness i know i can stop the pain if i will it all away

don't turn away don't give in to the pain don't try to hide though they're screaming your name don't close your eyes God knows what lies behind them don't turn out the light never sleep never die

i'm frightened by what i see but somehow i know that there's much more to come immobilized by my fear and soon to be blinded by tears i can stop the pain if i will it all away

don't turn away don't give in to the pain don't try to hide though they're screaming your name don't close your eyes God knows what lies behind them don't turn out the light never sleep never die

fallen angels at my feet whispered voices at my ear death before my eyes lying next to me i fear she beckons me shall i give in upon my end shall i begin forsaking all i've fallen for i rise to meet the end

(Evanescence-Whisper)

Journal Entry 3.4

Tonight was a catharsis. I saw Cait and we had a civil, if maybe a little hurtful, conversation. She said things that I think she's needed to say for a long time now. She was more confident then I think I've ever seen her and I found myself happy for her. Strange, since I was the target of some pretty hurtful comments. I think realizing that I can be happy for her, just for her sake, released me. I needed her to tell me what an ass I was, how I treated her so shabbily. She needed to know it wasn't anything she did that drove me away. It may be that we both finally got what we needed from each other. Sad in a way. I wish Cait could be happy with me but she's happy, and that's enough.

On another bright note, I met a woman named Ella. Very interesting and very pretty. Maybe things are looking up.

If music be the food of love; play on. (William Shakespeare)

I talk to her pictures And stare at the walls And my friends come and offer their help To my back they're afraid that I'm losing it all To my face they say I'm not myself And they name all the doctors they think I should see But they don't understand it's not me

She's goin' out of my mind And I'm showin' all of the signs I thought that our love was one of a kind Now she's goin' out of my mind

The place that I kept her Has suited her well Though it's not where she wanted to be And from up on that pedestal I couldn't tell That she'd rather be down here with me Now she just tells me how we can't relate But she leaves out the part I can't take

She's goin' out of my mind And I'm showin' all of the signs I thought that our love was one of a kind Now she's goin' out of my mind

There's a tear in her eyes as they drive me away And I turn to the doctors and say

She's goin' out of my mind And I'm showin' all of the signs I thought that our love was one of a kind Now she's goin' out of my mind.

(She's Going Out of My Mind - Jimmy Buffett)

Journal Entry 3.9

Strange night last night. I seem to be having more than my share of those lately. Started out fine; sitting around the bar, having a drink and making small talk, just relaxing. Cait showed up but that wasn't what was strange about the night. Cait didn't cause me any problems at all. It was her friend Sophie, Chase's cousin. After Cait left, Sophie asked me all sorts of questions. She was really interested in what I thought of Cait. I didn't give her much. Wasn't really sure what she was after. I have to admit she said more than a few things that made me curious. I have some thinking to do.

He had expected to see Cait at the Inn, so he wasn't surprised when she showed up with his note in her hand. The Inn was relatively empty and it wasn't hard to have a private conversation. Cait was very matter-of-fact during the conversation, the way she always was now. It was a part of her personality that had changed for the worse, in his opinion. At any rate, he told her about his conversation with Sophie and the comments she made about Cait and Chase. Cait was upset, but only at the fact that Sophie would "stoop so low". For some reason he had in his mind that this conversation would change the way Cait felt about him, it didn't. She took the time, and she was very polite and civil about it, to tell him how happy she was and how well Chase treated and loved her. In the end, all he could do was say he was happy for her and watch her go. There was some emphasis on the words when she told him good-bye. It had a ring of finality to it. He didn't say anything in reply. She simply turned and left as if there had been no conversation at all.

It wasn't an unpleasant conversation but the undertones were there and those were more than a little painful. It would have been easy to simply finish the bottle of Scotch and wallow in self pity as usual. When Bryn bounded through the door, that option was off the table. She climbed into his lap and teased him, trying her best to cheer him up. Bryn was pretty and funny and quite the tease and she managed to lighten his mood a bit. It was hard not to be in a good mood around Bryn, she had limitless energy. Things were fine until she mentioned that she heard "he was on the market again?. That didn't sit too well with him and, though he didn't let Bryn know, it crashed the mood. Then, with a quick kiss, Bryn was gone as quickly as she had come. He found himself in only a slightly better mood but again, that was about to change.

Gabriella had become his guardian angel of sorts, or so it seemed to him. She didn't disappoint. As soon as Bryn left, she had simply asked if he wanted to walk with her, to get cupcakes no less. He couldn't say yes fast enough. The rest of the night was a blur; the cupcakes, the conversation, walking her back to where she stayed, the time seemed to slip by without notice.

It was late when he arrived home but he felt energized. What could have been another dreary, drunken evening had turned into one of the best he'd had in quite a while. He spent a few hours in front of the fire reading, the cupcakes he had planned to save for breakfast never had a chance.

He'd already been warned, sort of anyway. Several people at the Inn had mentioned the article in "the rag" as they called it. The local gossip paper is what it was. Gabriella had mentioned it to him and a friend of her's mentioned it in a far less friendly manner. At any rate, by the time he had returned home a part of it, the part of it concerning him, had been nailed to his front door. He tore it off as he arrived home and unlocked the door.

He sat down in front of the fire as he read. "Land himself a girl pronto...Barking up Ella's tree", he would be insulted if it were anything other than gossip. Everyone had to make a living. Now, who would have had the audacity to clip the article and leave it on the door. Gee, that was tough. Bryn. She had been at the Inn last night as well, and obviously had a burr under her saddle, as the saying goes. She didn't say a word to him, just glared at him all night and whispered things to a woman sitting next to her. Maybe it was time to clear the air with Bryn, again. He'd tried it once, maybe twice, before and had met with little success. The first time he ended up in her bed and the other time ended in a shouting match, rather harsh insults being hurled back and forth. He'd need to think about it.

As he pulled off his leather boots, another thought occurred to him. The supplies for his boat were to have been delivered by now. There had been no sign of them as he arrived home and it was quite a load of supplies. A load that should have been obvious. He'd check on that in the morning.

For now, he was going to grab a book and head up to the loft to bed. He quickly looked over the shelves and settled on Pride and Prejudice. He'd read it before, several times in fact, but he liked it.

As he climbed to the loft, book in hand, he stoked the loft fireplace and stripped off all but his boxers. He lit the oil lamp beside the bed and climbed in between the flannel sheets. It was going to feel good to go to bed sober. Sober nights had been rare of late but he was starting to take care of that problem.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife...he began and thought the opening line somehow ironic at the moment. He read but a few lines more before falling into a sound, and sober, sleep.

(posted here with permission)

So yeah, okay, I put the clipping on his door. Did that give him the right to come here and go off on me" Seriously. I mean it was only a joke. Serves him right for ignoring me the way he does, he's so rude. It's like it's beneath him to talk to me, or even acknowledge me. So I put the article on his door. Who did it hurt' I mean, get over it.

What do I have to do to get him to notice me" I've practically stalked him, NO, not really. I can't help it if we end up in the same places. What is there to do around this place" There are only so many places to go to have a good time, right' He doesn't ignore me when he's been drinking. Oh no, when he gets some alcohol in him and gets well, you know, then he comes looking for me, sure. I'm not a slut and he's not going to treat me like one.

I'm in the Inn and he won't even speak to me. Seems he'll speak to every woman in the place except me. There was this one woman, Ella, Gabriella, or something like that. Yeah, she's hot but really' She already has a boyfriend and still he was barking up her tree...I know, isn't that hilarious" Barking up her tree. Anyway, he's still hitting on her right in front of her boyfriend. I'm sitting at the bar by myself, well pretty much, and he's competing for attention' Do you know how that made me feel" What about me" I could have any number of guys. He should be happy that I'm waiting for him. I've tried everything just to get him to talk to me. I must look pretty desperate. I'm too good for this sh*t.

So he comes here whining about the article I put on his door? Wah. Deal with it.

Journal Entry 3.18

What a wild ride the past few days have been. Bryn hates me again, nothing really new there. Tried to patch things up with her but I'm not sure it can be done. Think she does this on purpose just to get attention from me. That sounds a bit arrogant I know, but I think it's true....and it's working.

Gabriella is teaching me to duel. The woman has the patience of a saint but I didn't really do too badly. I got to spend some time with her and learn a little about her. She has a past that might scare most men away. It made me want to know more. The more I know about her the more I find her a mystery. Strange stuff.

It was late, or early, or maybe it didn't matter. He was here again, in the darkness, somewhere he'd been before but still couldn't recognize. Something else was here too, just ahead or just behind, he wasn't sure. The only sound was the sound of his own ragged breathing as he struggled through the darkness. There was a pinpoint of light ahead but it didn't seem to be getting any closer. The air was hot and thick, the sweat ran in streams down his neck, glistening on the bare skin of his chest. He had been here before, he knew the futility of the struggle.

Something told him he must get to the end, to that small sliver of light, that small sliver of hope. They were close now. Close to getting the key. Close to unlocking the door. If the door were opened, he knew he could never shut it. They would be free and he would be locked away. He had to get to the light and keep the door closed, the key hidden.

Something gnawed at the edge of his consciousness, something telling him there was no more time. If he didn't leave now, he might never leave. Whatever was here with him knew, somehow it knew. It sent him spiraling upwards, through waves of darkness, back to sanity. The door would hold a while yet, the key would remain hidden. At the last moment he looked back, but there was nothing to see.

There was no spasm, no scream as before, this time his eyes simply fluttered open. Lying motionless, he turned his head into the sweat soaked pillow. The dream still wasn't clear to him, it's meaning lost, but each time he went there it felt more and more real. The one thing that always stayed with him was something about a key. Find the key. He didn't know what it meant but maybe someone else would. Maybe he needed to talk to someone.

He sat up slowly, turning and putting his feet on the floor. The sunlight across the floor of the loft told him it was early afternoon. He had been gone, been there, a long time. Each time it was longer and longer. The thought crossed his mind of a story from a book that was sitting tucked away downstairs. Something about a girl disappearing down a rabbit hole. He couldn't remember if she ever made it back. Maybe, just maybe, this was his rabbit hole.

The near spring like weather of the past few days had disappeared as quickly as it had come. The morning was dreary with fat gray clouds spitting intermittent rain and snow flurries. All in all it was a good day to stay tucked away in the loft or to sit in front of the fireplace and read. He chose to do neither.

He was restless. Though the troubled dreams of the past few nights had faded as they always did, something still nagged at him. He needed something to occupy his time, to keep his mind focused. A quick hot shower, warm clothes, and a piece of fruit prepared him as he headed outside to the small barn where the supplies for his boat building project were stored. He had put it off long enough and, if he wanted the boat in the water before the end of summer, it was time to start building.

He enjoyed working with his hands and the hours seemed to fly by as he bent and shaped the wood forming the hull of the boat. It allowed his mind to roam over the events of the past weeks. He had totally alienated Bryn. She had called him an a*s and she was probably right. He didn't think he'd have to worry about seeing her for a while though he deeply regretted making her cry. He'd seen Gabriella at the Inn and they were still friends, something he wasn't sure about after the previous meeting. She was still keeping him at arm's length but that was probably a good thing. He was rather impulsive at times and, as Gabriella had mentioned more than once, they both had issues to work out. Only time would tell what would happen on that front. Then there was Cait. There might be nothing left between them but she still weighed on his mind. There were times when she came into his thoughts and he found himself smiling. Memories of her made him feel good. He thought she might like to know that, but she probably never would.

It was late afternoon when he decided he was finished. The boat was rather small and he'd completed the frame for the hull in nearly half a day. The wood still needed to be sanded and finished but he'd done a decent amount of work. It would be dark in a few hours and he had a few other things he wanted to get done. He needed wood for both fireplaces and he wanted to pick up some supplies from town. As he walked the short distance to the house, he decided that there wasn't enough time to do both and the wood was more important right now than the supplies. It was dark by the time he had chopped and carried the wood into the house.

He tossed a few logs into the downstairs fireplace, leaving a few on the hearth as well. Then it was upstairs for another shower, this one a little longer and a lot more relaxing than the first. He scrubbed himself clean and washed his thick black hair. He gave an absent thought to getting a haircut tomorrow but quickly dismissed it. It wasn't long before he'd dried himself and pulled on the heavy robe that he kept hanging on the door.

He went back downstairs to the fire which was blazing now, filling the room with both light and warmth. He looked around to make sure no one was watching him, then laughed silently at the thought as he slipped on the small wire framed reading glasses. Maybe it was vanity but he thought maybe they made him look old.

He wasn't sure what he felt like reading so he walked to the large bookcase and closed his eyes. He quickly reached up and pulled one free, not bothering to read the title or even look at the book. Instead, he simply returned to his reading chair near the fire. He poured himself a small glass of Scotch and settled in for the evening. Only then did he glance down at the chosen tome. The Sonnets ....William Shakespeare. For a moment he thought it was a strange coincidence, then he flipped it open to a random page and began to read......

(deleted)

He had been gone for a while, an unavoidable emergency back home. It was well past time he visited home anyway. He didn't get there often and probably wouldn't have gone yet if he hadn't been forced to make the trip.

He was back at the cottage, had only been back a few hours when he sat down in the chair and promptly fell asleep. He didn't dream and he hadn't had any of the troubling dreams while he was home. Maybe there was an end to them. But now, as he read the note Bryn had left on the porch, he was glad he'd fallen asleep. He needed the rest and he didn't need another go 'round with Bryn. He knew she meant well, she always meant well, but neither of them could ever seem to make it go right. Hell, they rarely had a conversation that didn't end in a screaming match or worse. He wouldn't worry about Bryn for now, he'd run into her again somewhere, sometime, of that he was certain.

He thought about Evie. She'd no doubt be pissed as hell. She'd already displayed a spot or two of her Welsh temper. She didn't seem the type to give in to candy and flowers, she was far too independent for that sort of thing. He'd need to find a way to apologize and worm his way back into her good graces. Then he thought maybe she hadn't even missed him. Wow, that would be a shot to his male ego. As he headed up the stairs to the shower, he wondered which would be worse; Evie missing him and being pissed, or not missing him and not caring. He'd have to have a strategy for each. He'd enjoyed their brief time together and he didn't want to screw it up.

Turning on the shower and waiting for the water to warm up, he walked back into the loft bedroom and flipped the newly installed light switch on the wall. That was another advantage to being gone for a couple of weeks, Rhydin Power and Light had finally run electricity up the hill and to his cottage and he hadn't been around for the mess and confusion of the installation. Everything seemed to be in working order. It was going to be nice having all the modern convenience's of life. He'd need to modernize the rest of the way with appliances, fixtures, and maybe a few luxuries when he got around to it. For now, he had other things on his mind and, as he stepped into the shower and was nearly scalded by the hot water, he snapped back to reality. He'd forgotten the new hot water heater.

He toweled himself off in the bedroom, wet footprints left behind on the hardwood flooring. He slipped into a pair of blue jeans and a clean button down. Shoes, a comb through his hair, a quick glance in the mirror and he was back downstairs. He picked up the bank bag full of money, the settlement of the sale of his parents farm, and headed into town. The money would be dropped at the bank, insuring several years of a worry free future for him. After the bank he'd swing by the pastry shop and see if Evie was working. If not, and he could muster the courage, maybe he'd check her apartment.

The stop at the bank was quick, the manager delighted to see the infusion of a rather substantial sum of cash. Then he headed to the pastry shop. It was late afternoon by the time he got there and rather than just walk in, he peered through the window of the door. Maybe he'd see her and be able to gauge her mood. To be honest, he was a little nervous.

Ella had been in town and heard rumors of rumors that an old friend was back in town. So out of good memories, she went to the cupcake shoppe they visited too long ago and ordered his favorite. They wrapped them up and she had them delivered. A note was attached to the plain brown box.

Aaric!

I hope the rumor is true that you have returned. If not and you find this later on with mold inside the box, know it was meant in good faith and not as a joke.

I hope you enjoy the cupcakes. Perhaps when you are settled we can catch up? I hope all is well..

Always, Gabriella

Okay, I surrender. I swore I wouldn't do this, not again, but here I am. I'm going to seriously hate myself for this. I'll just leave a short note.

A, word is you're back. You know how to find me if you want. Hope you do. Let's talk. B

Journal Entry 11.2

It's good to be back again. Feels a little strange but no one to blame for that except maybe me. Not sure what I'm going to do just yet. I find that most of the time I like being here alone, isolated, removed. Other times, well, I get a little lonely but it passes. I should make a visit to town to see if I see any familiar faces. I'll do that someday soon. I need to get some supplies anyway. I doubt that I'll see anyone that's glad to see me but I'll take a chance. Soon.

He merely turned his head to look in her direction, his actions not betraying the shock at her sudden appearance. He allowed an uncomfortable silence to grow as he searched for an appropriate response. He couldn't help but notice how her emerald eyes sparkled in reflection of the firelight. Bryn was truly an attractive woman, perhaps a little rough around the edges, but there was no doubt of her beauty.

He let a small chuckle escape as he shook his head. You certainly are unpredictable my dear Bryn, I'll say that much for you. He stood from the chair, yawned and stretched. As far as the drink, he paused as he was really uncertain how he should answer, let's have the one. He tilted his head to the side as he looked at her with a hint of suspicion. And I do mean one. She simply stood there with her perfect smile and tossed the bottle in her hands. Let's have it at the house he offered as he took a few moments to bank the fire. The fire was slowly dying and, as it was built on the sand, posed no real threat. He simply wanted the extra time to think, to wonder what brought Bryn all the way out here from town.

For some reason, a reason he would wonder about later, he extended a hand in her direction. It seemed the natural thing to do. Shall we?

I probably would have let go of her hand pretty quickly but the path to the house was a little hilly and uneven. It was a little tricky in the dark. If not for that I would have let go of her hand. I was really just being nice.

It had been an almost perfect late fall evening but, as we neared the house, the wind picked up and it began to spit rain. The rain wasn't much but it was cold and I had already heard her teeth chattering against the cool night air. I pulled her along as quickly as I could and she didn't complain.

When we got to the house the rain had picked up slightly. She was just a little wet but a lot cold so I offered a change of clothes and sent her to the loft. It was just the nice thing to do. While she was upstairs I pulled the two big chairs closer to the fire but just close enough to be comfortable. I grabbed two clean glasses and poured a small amount in each before setting the bottle on the table between the chairs. Settling back into the chair, I swirled the Scotch and stared into the fire.

It was probably only a few minutes but it seemed longer before I heard her soft footsteps coming down the stairs. I started to say something innocent or sarcastic or funny as I turned but whatever it was going to be, it wasn't. I didn't say anything. She had slipped into one of my cotton oxford shirts, a pair of shorts I hadn't worn in years, and her red hair was wild and stringy from towel drying. She took a seat in the chair and pulled her legs up in front of her without saying a word. I would never admit it to her, or me for that matter, but she had never looked better.

Neither of us broke the silence for some time. I'm not sure if it was tension, uncertainty, or maybe neither of us wanted to say the wrong thing, but there was silence for a while, a comfortable silence. She sipped at the Scotch and I noticed her looking around the room. She seemed to be reading the titles of the books in the bookcases or maybe looking at the cobwebs in the corners of the ceiling. Without saying anything or even looking at me, she held her glass out for more Scotch. I poured it in silence and refilled my own glass as well.

Finally she asked how I liked living up here in the hills all alone. I didn't bother telling her that I loved it and hated it. How it held some wonderfully painful memories and maybe, for that reason alone, I couldn't stay away for long. Instead I just said that it was okay. She just nodded and took a sip of her drink as she looked back into the fire.

We traded cordial questions for a while and drank more Scotch. The conversation flowed and ebbed. Anytime it approached anything serious one of us steered it back. I told her that I wanted to eventually raise horses here, that I had always secretly wanted to be a pirate and that I didn't think I would ever really grow up. I told her that I loved to read and she gave me one of those "duh" looks that she did so well as she pointed at the bookcases and winked. She told me that she had absolutely no idea what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. She told me that she loved the freedom her life offered her but that would probably change someday. Probably.

It was late by the time I allowed the fire to start dying. We had finished her bottle of Scotch as well as one of mine that she found in a cabinet somewhere in the kitchen. The conversation was sporadic now, both of us perhaps feeling like we'd revealed too much already. The rain had picked up, still slight but now steady. I suggested that she could sleep upstairs in my bed if she didn't want to worry about getting back home. There wasn't a lot of discussion, she simply said okay and walked up stairs to bed.

I watched her go and then I retreated to the couch on the opposite wall and pulled a blanket over myself. I laid there for a time staring into the fire as it died. My last thoughts were wondering if I'd made a mistake. Probably not, after all I was just being nice.

Damn him. He played me again. What was I supposed to do' His note said that he'd be at the Inn so, like a fool, I went. I was there, he wasn't. I feel like such an idiot. He knew I'd go for it, he knew it. I sat there by myself and waited. I am so pissed. He'll pay for this. I'm not sure how or when but he'll pay. Oh will he pay. I mean, I spend the night at his house and then he pulls another disappearing act' Who does that' What kind of man does that' Just wait until I see him.

This was my third or fourth, or maybe fifth or sixth trip to the cottage. Don't know why I expected it to be any different, it wasn't. Dark, locked up tight. Nothing to show that anyone had been here in a while.

In my mind I replayed the last time I was here. Warm fire, conversation, smiles. I guess I thought things had finally changed. I guess they haven't. I'd like to think that maybe I just scared him off, gave him something to think about. At least I could deal with that, I could wait for that.

He's been gone over a month now. No one needs that kind of time to think. Can't say he didn't warn me, over and over again. I let one good night convince me. Stupid. I wish I could say I wouldn't wait. I wish I could say that I was going to move on. I can't.

I slid the note under the door and walked back to town.

Sinking into his favorite chair near the fire, he picked up the journal from the small table. It had been a while.

Journal Entry 2.8

It's been a while but it's good to be back. Think I'll probably hang around until at least I get the place cleaned up for Spring. This place is my escape I guess. Really do like it here.

Bryn stopped by again. Again I didn't let her know I was back. I know she's angry but not much I can do about it now. I missed her. Missed her more than I thought I would. She always wants to argue with me but I kind of miss that too. I think it's time I was a little nicer to the girl.

Okay, so I got his letter. He mailed it to me. He mailed it from his home. How thoughtful. I'm not sure if it's an apology, an explanation, or just what the hell it is. Maybe a little of both.

It should be too late for this. It should be easy to tear the damn thing up and throw it in the trash. It should be so simple to just ignore it and his request to meet me. I shouldn't even consider it. I should be embarrassed to even spend time thinking about it. I should mail him a letter back and tell him to go get, well, you know. But I won't.

I knew before I finished reading it I would go. I wanted to see him again. I can't explain it. I've dumped plenty of other men, why couldn't I be done with this one? I wish I knew. But I don't.

I need to go shopping and find something nice to wear. Something that will send the right message. I'm just not sure what that message is right now. I don't have much time to figure it out.

Aaric Liam OShea: :: He was right on time but she was already seated at the small outdoor table, bottle of wine uncorked and poured.  The waiter pulled his chair and then quickly and silently disappeared::

Aaric Liam OShea ::: a quick glance at his watch and then a smile offered::  I hope I'm not late, did I get the time wrong"

Bryn Kinsey: "No, you are in fact right on time. I just got here a little early. I took the liberty of ordering the wine. Riesling, right?" It was her turn to offer a smile as she raised the wine glass,

Aaric Liam OShea::: he nodded and, in turn, raised his glass.He lightly tapped his glass to hers and laughed:: You remembered, how charming. And a little bit surprising if you don't mind my saying so.:: this was starting of well and to be honest, he was caught a little off guard::

Bryn Kinsey: She took a sip of the wine and then returned the glass to the table. She had something to say and, although it was, she didn't want it to sound rehearsed."At the risk of sounding a little like a stalker, there is nothing about you that I don't remember."

Bryn Kinsey: "Aaric, before this goes any further, please just listen. I can't lie about this and I don't expect you to either. I want more from you than just friendship. I've made that embarrassingly obvious so if friendship is all you want, you need to say it now. Please don't play with me anymore. Say what?s on your mind. Please." Taking a breath and looking down, she took a long slow sip from her glass.

Aaric Liam OShea: :: he had started to take a drink but stopped as she spoke, returning his glass slowly to the table. He had anticipated the conversation getting to this point but not nearly so quickly. After she finished speaking, there was somewhat of an uncomfortable silence for a few moments before he replied:: Well, true to form, you certainly get right to the heart of the matter Bryn. I'd hoped for some small talk and pleasantries I guess. :: he shrugged as he looked across the table at her::

Bryn Kinsey: She was glad the outdoor seating area was dimly lit, her face felt flushed and warm. " That's just how I am Aaric, a what you see - is what you get kind of girl. Just be straight with me,okay?"

Bryn Kinsey: "We've been dancing with each other for years. We're past the let's take our time phase, we're past the getting to know each other crap. I mean, either we're worth the chance or we're not. It's time to make up your mind. I think I've made my thoughts pretty clear."

Aaric Liam OShea: :: he took a long sip of wine and nodded:: I guess you're right Bryn. It's getting rather silly, all these games. :: he sat back in his chair, wine glass in hand, and took a deep breath:: Let's give it a shot and see what happens. If we don't kill each other first, it might just be fun. :: he shrugged as he drained his glass, leaning forward and returning it to the table::

Bryn Kinsey: It was her turn to be caught off-guard. She hadn't expected such quick acceptance. She still had a lot of memorized speech left to go. Oh well, she'd had success so far, why not go for it all" "Aaric, I was thinking I should probably move in with you."She decided to press forward. "I mean, it's really the smart thing to do. It'll save us both money in the long run, and I simply love your place." She did love the cottage and the lake but, then, who wouldn't"

Aaric Liam OShea: ::his eyes widened in surprise and he shook his head slowly:: Have you set the wedding date yet' I'm free this Saturday. :: said with obvious sarcasm:: Come on Bryn, this is exactly what I mean. I'm not saying we have to take it slow but let's not do it all in one night, okay' :: just so she wouldn't think he was ill intentioned, he reached across the table and softly squeezed her hand::

Bryn Kinsey: She blushed at both his words and his touch." Okay, that's fine but give it some thought. Wouldn't it be nice to have someone there for you, someone who cares" Don't you get lonely up there at the lake all by yourself?" She shrugged and emptied her glass in a swallow.

Aaric Liam OShea: :: he found himself looking into her eyes as she spoke, and thinking that maybe he'd already had enough wine. Her eyes sparkled, reflecting what little light was present. He motioned the waiter over and whispered something to him. The waiter left, returning in a few minutes with an unopened bottle of wine:: I'm not sure of the whole move in thing Bryn, why don't we just take it a day at a time. How about we finish this bottle :: he nodded toward the fresh bottle on the table:: at my place"

Aaric Liam OShea: and we can continue this discussion tomorrow morning" :: he stood, and offered a hand to her, taking the bottle of wine in the other::

Bryn Kinsey: She sighed. " I don't have anytime tomorr.." She paused as his meaning sank in, then a sly smile played across her face." Why Aaric, I do believe you are a cad." She laughed aloud as she took his hand and stood. " I'll go with you but we will discuss this tomorrow. And let's get one thing straight before we take one more step. We are exclusive. Exclusive or no deal. Get it mister?"

Aaric Liam OShea: :: he steadied her as she rose to he feet. Neither of them had that much to drink but they were both feeling a little heady it seemed:: Of course Bryn, we're exclusive. I wouldn't have it any other way. :: and with that, he tossed enough money on the table to cover the bill and a generous tip to the waiter. The waiter remembered Aaric from long ago and he gave him a smile as the two left::

If music be the food of love; play on. (William Shakespeare)

Think in terms of bridges burned Think of seasons that must end See the rivers rise and fall They will rise and fall again

Everything must have an end Like an ocean to a shore Like a river to a stream Like a river to a stream It's the famous final scene

And how you tried to make it work Did you really think it could How you tried to make it last Did you really think it would

Like a guest who stayed too long Now it's finally time to leave Yes, it's finally time to leave Take it calmly and serene It's the famous final scene

It's been coming on so long You were just the last to know It's been a long time since you've smiled Seems like oh so long ago

Now the stage has all been set And the nights are growing cold Soon the winter will be here And there's no one warm to hold

Now the lines have all been read And you knew them all by heart Now you move toward the door Here it comes the hardest part

Try the handle of the road Feeling different feeling strange This can never be arranged As the light fades from the screen From the famous final scene

(Famous Final Scene - Bob Seger)

What's the use of me staying here if he's not' I'm alone whether I'm here or at my place. This is so screwed up.

I stopped sending flowers to your apartment You said you aren't at home much anymore I stopped dropping by without an appointment Cause I'd hear laughter coming through your door

Sometimes late at night you'll still call me Just before you close your eyes to sleep You make me vow to try and stop by sometime But Baby that's a promise I can't keep

I love you too much to ever start liking you So lets just let the story kinda end I love you too much to ever start liking you So don't expect for me to be your friend

I don't walk down through the village or other places That we used to go to all the time I'm trying to erase you from my memory Cause thinking of you jumbles up my mind

You always act so happy when I see you You smile that way you take my hand and then Introduce me to your latest lover That's when I feel the walls start crashing in

I love you too much to ever start liking you So lets just let the story kinda end I love you too much to ever start liking you So don't expect for me to be your friend

(Don't Expect Me to be Your Friend - Lobo)

She let him have it, all of it. She'd been mad at him before, but nothing like this. It wasn't just anger he was hearing. He was hearing hurt, disappointment, embarrassment, loneliness, and yes, anger too. He was hearing every ounce of pain he had ever caused her. When she finally stopped, tears were running down her cheeks. Seeing those tears hurt him more than anything she had said. Right now he wanted to just hold her, to wipe away her tears and tell her how sorry he was. Instead he just bit his lip and nodded.

She sat up on the edge of the bed, turning away from him, quickly and quietly trying to catch her breath. He sat up against the headboard, letting the silence linger and giving her time to steady herself. He reached a hand up and touched her shoulder softly. Her body tensed for a moment and then again relaxed. He slowly scooted across the bed and pulled her gently back against him. She didn't resist, instead she whispered ever so softly "Why do you keep doing this to me" Why do you torture me?" He held her even more tightly against him, resting his lips on the back of her neck in a lingering soft kiss. "Because I'm a fool Bryn, because I'm a fool."

Together they slid down into the bed, his arms wrapped around her. She kept her back to him as they lay. It was a while before he heard the soft breathing of her sleep. It was a while longer before sleep found him. The light stayed on all night.

I told you the radio was an antique!

Dance with me I want to be your partner Can't you see The music is just starting Night is calling and i am falling Dance with me Fantasy could never be so giving I feel free I hope that you are willing Pick the beat up and kick your feet up Dance with me Let it lift you off the ground Starry eyes and love is all around us I can take you if you want to go Oh oh

Dance with me I want to be your partner Can't you see the music it just starting Night is calling and i am falling Dance with me Let it lift you off the ground Stary eyes and love is all around us I can take you if you want to go Oh oh

Dance with me I want to be your partner Can't you see the music it just starting Night is calling and i am falling Dance with me

(Dance with Me - Orleans)

Hmmm, where would I like to go. Is that what he asked" Yes it was. I hadn't really been expecting the question so I really didn't have an answer. It didn't take long for me to come up with one.

Paris. I'd wanted to see Paris since I was a little girl. My parents could have afforded to send me. Matter of fact, they almost sent me there to study. Almost. Oh well, maybe that was meant to be and now was my chance.

I searched the book shelves for something that might give me some ideas. Of course he had a book on France, more of a historical thing but it was rich with information and some pretty damned attractive pictures as well. Busy street scenes alive with business and people in all manner of dress and refinement. Rain soaked countryside blossoming with flowers and bursting with color. Yep, Paris, that was the place for me. That's where I wanted to go.

When he came down from his shower, I put on my prettiest smile and pointed at the one picture that captured my attention the most. Here, here is where want to go. Take me, please"

The ramshackle shop was right where it had always been, rather lonely and ignored by most of the pedestrian traffic. He walked in and wasn't surprised to find that he was the only one in the shop. The old wizard was sitting on the stool behind the makeshift counter and appeared to be sleeping. The only difference from a few years ago was that his snow white beard appeared a bit longer and maybe a few more wrinkles. The shop itself looked the same, with dust covering everything, torn books and yellowed scrolls shoved haphazardly into shelves, drawers, and any other space that would hold them. All in all it felt and looked like a place of magic. That was at least a little comforting.

He started walking slowly and quietly towards the counter. He didn't want to scare the old guy to death, although he was probably a hundred years old or older. Before he got within 20 feet of the counter the wizard spoke. "You again is it' It's been a while."

He stopped dead in his tracks. The old mage hadn't moved a muscle but the words he spoke were strong and clear. Nodding his head slowly, he replied equally as slowly "You remember me?"

"Of course I remember you?, the now somewhat grumpy wizard retorted. "I remember everybody. Now what can I do for you?"

"Well I need something...something for.." He never had a chance to finish the sentence. "Yes, yes, something for time travel. Been awhile since I've had that request. Maybe a hundred years or so." snorted the mage.

His eyes widened. "How did you know. I mean, what I was here for?" The ancient one shook his head "I know a lot. Comes with being alive so long." As he spoke, the wizard reached beneath the counter and produced a small wooden box. Blowing the dust from it, he pushed it forward slowly. " I have what you need right here. It will take you when and where you need to go. Be careful though. It works in both directions. If you lose it, where you are is where you'll stay."

He reached and slowly took the box, starting to open it. The wizard moved much more quickly than he should have been able to, slamming the small box shut. "No, no, don't open it here. Its magic is strong but its supply is limited. Only take it out when you're ready to use it. Once the magic is used up, it becomes useless. You'll do well to keep that in mind."

"I will", he replied as he reached into his pocket for payment. "How much do I owe you?. When he looked up the old one was gone but his final comment hung on the air. "Pay me if you see me again."

Once more he had returned and once more to an empty house. It was clean but smelled musty from being closed up, apparently for some time. It still smelled faintly of pine, and there were a few small Christmas presents sitting on the kitchen table. Had he been gone that long" How it must have hurt her. Being here, alone, through the winter, the holidays. He wondered how long she waited. She had believed him when he told her he'd return but everyone has a breaking point. It seemed she'd reached hers. Maybe it was for the best. He'd have a hard time explaining where he'd been and why he'd been gone so long. He wasn't sorry that he could now avoid that discussion. Yet still he'd hoped that she'd be here waiting for him. He missed her.

This coming and going was becoming a habit for him. No matter how much he wanted to believe he'd stay, and how hard he tried to convince others, it never changed. Maybe next time he'd take her with him. She needed to know, needed to see. He chuckled to himself as he shook his head. "Next time?" It looked like he'd be alone next time and all the next times after.

He sat down silently at the kitchen table and opened a bottle of Scotch. It was the only friend he had left.

In case he ever does come here again;

When the rain is blowin' in your face And the whole world is on your case I could offer you a warm embrace To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear And there is no one there to dry your tears I could hold you for a million years To make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet But I would never do you wrong I've known it from the moment that we met No doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue I'd go crawlin' down the avenue No, there's nothin' that I wouldn't do To make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rollin' sea And on the highway of regrets The winds of change are blowing wild and free You ain't seen nothin' like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true There's nothing that I would not do Go to the ends of the Earth for you To make you feel my love.

(Make You Feel My Love - Bob Dylan)

He stood there silently thinking. Bryn. If she was at the house, she was probably going to be none too pleased to see him. If it wasn't Bryn, then who in the hell was living in his house" He rubbed his chin and shrugged slightly. No matter really, he had to go to up either way. He had a rather large shipment of expensive Scotch arriving in the next few days and he had to find space to store it. He planned to store most, if not all, of it at the house. He wouldn't need to keep it here long. His, well, his partner, if you could call her that, had promised to pick it up by the end of the week. All he had to do was keep it safe until then and he stood to make a tidy sum of money. None of that mattered right now. What mattered was getting to the house and finding out who was home.

He took a deep breath and started up the path to the house. He absently touched the small automatic tucked into the small of his back. It wasn't a large weapon but just as deadly in the hands of someone who knew how to use it. He knew how to use it.

He wasn't the same man that left RhyDin almost a year ago. During his time away he had met people. Dark people. Dangerous people. People who promised him lots of money if he could arrange things for them here in RhyDin. It didn't seem that difficult really. Pay off a few people to look the other way, provide information on certain persons and businesses, that sort of thing, How difficult could it be? The shipment of Scotch that was on it's way was his first job. All he had to do was hold it for a few days until a certain woman arrived to claim it. Simple enough. Still, it didn't hurt to be careful. Careful and prepared.

He didn't necessarily try to conceal himself as he walked up to the house but he didn't make his approach obvious either. It took him a few minutes longer than it should have but he stood quietly on the front porch with one hand on the doorknob and the other on the small .380. He slowly turned the knob, expecting the door to be locked. To his surprise, the knob rotated completely with a soft click. He slowly pushed the door open.

It took a few moments for his eyes to adjust to the near darkness of the room. The only light now was that given off by the fireplace, casting the room in a dim orange red glow. It took less than a few moments to notice the still form, softly breathing, on the couch. There was no mistaking the flowing mane of red hair. Bryn.

Could it be possible" Was he really this stupid" He stood in the small living room of the cabin and took a deep breath. The air, thick and heavy. filled his lungs. Memories filled his mind.

Memories. This place held so many. Good, bad, neither, it was hard to say. As he began removing the dust covers from the furniture, he allowed the memories to welcome him home. There was Bryn, smiling as always, her flaming red hair and sparkling green eyes taunting, teasing him. Faithful Bryn who wanted nothing more than his love. He'd broken her heart over and over until, well, everyone had their limits, even Bryn. It was years now since he'd heard from her.

Memories. Family lived in those memories too. His brother Collyn, who'd both helped and hurt him so many times. Selfish, jealous, Collyn. Collyn who wanted everything but worked for nothing. Collyn, who'd walked out so many years ago and simply disappeared.

Memories. There was no escape from them. As he wiped the dust from the books on the bookshelf, he saw the volumes of poetry. With them came the one memory he had tried so hard to erase. Cait. His Cait. Well, at least for a while. She was everything he wanted, everything he wasn't. Their love was strong in spite of their differences. Cait, strong, demanding, committed. She gave him every opportunity and he took none of them. She had moved on to a better life, leaving his shattered.

Memories. He knew the one thing, the only thing, that would chase them away. He moved up the stairs to the loft bedroom to unpack. He'd brought enough clothing for a long, maybe permanent, stay. He reached deep into his bag, under the pile of clothes, and found it. Scotch, his only real friend. A good bottle of Scotch would never betray him. He was tired now. It had been a long journey back here to Rhy'din. Settling into his familiar large leather chair, he slowly twisted the top from the bottle. He drank deeply and set the bottle on the small table next to him. This time, things will be different. That was his last conscious thought as sleep overtook him.

If music be the food of love; play on. (William Shakespeare)



Waking up to kiss you and nobody's there The smell of your perfume still stuck in the air It's hard Yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running round It's funny how things never change in this old town So far from the stars

And I want to tell you everything The words I never got to say the first time around And I remember everything From when we were the children playing in this fairground Wish I was there with you now

If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you Drive highways and byways to be there with you Over and over the only truth Everything comes back to you

I saw that you moved on with someone new In the pub that we met he's got his arms around you It's so hard So hard

And I want to tell you everything The words I never got to say the first time around And I remember everything From when we were the children playing in this fairground Wish I was there with you now

As if the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you Drive highways and byways to be there with you Over and over the only truth Everything comes back to you You still make me nervous when you walk in the room Them butterflies they come alive when I'm next to you Over and over the only truth Everything comes back to you

And I know that it's wrong That I can't move on But there's something about you

If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you Drive highways and byways to be there with you Over and over the only truth Everything comes back to you You still make me nervous when you walk in the room Them butterflies they come alive when I'm next to you Over and over the only truth Everything comes back to you Everything comes back to you

(This Town - Niall Horan )

It was a fairly long walk from the lake house to town but the warm morning sun made it enjoyable. It allowed him to clear his head, to begin to work on ridding himself of past baggage. He'd come to realize, or at least quit denying, that most of his problems he'd brought on himself. That particular thought brought with it another pang of regret but it also brought a small sense of freedom. Maybe he couldn't completely escape his past but he could sure as hell store it away, at least for a while.

He took his time on the walk and, by the time he arrived in town, it was closer to lunch time than breakfast. The walk was just what he'd needed, it had put him in something close to a good mood. A rumble from his stomach let him know just what he needed to make that mood even better.

The town square was a quaint little place, serene, maybe too serene, but he was hungry and this was as far as he was willing to travel until he found a better mode of transportation. He spotted a small cafe' on one corner that provided outdoor seating and didn't appear overly crowded. He casually wandered over, hopped the small gate surrounding the patio, and grabbed a seat at a small table for two. The waitress nearest his table frowned at him as she walked over. Excuse me sir, and to him the word sir sounded more than a little sarcastic, but this table is by reservation only, she finished, standing in front of him, hands on her hips.

He gave her his most dazzling smile and shrugged. Sorry, I'm new here. How about you let me stay this time and next time I'll be sure to make a reservation. She stood there tapping her foot for a moment and then smiled back at him. Okay, but just this once. she said with maybe a little too much drama then smiled again. She took his order, a beer while he looked over the small menu, and walked away. He watched her go, she had a walk a man could appreciate, and settled back in his chair. He could be here a while. This day was starting out to be good, but it was early.

That path to find some decent Chinese food ended up taking a little longer than expected. Eris managed to get distracted by some kids playing soccer. Back in the day, she and a few of her siblings would play something similar only the goal was to aim a large boulder straight for the stomach to knock all the air out of your competition. Ah, the memories. Good thing they'd gotten over that phase. Mainly because Zeus ended up on the receiving end of her kick, which made everyone else run for the hills and left her laying under an 800 pound rock for a month or so until the big guy figured she'd learned her lesson. Her so called 'Daddy' had no funny bone at all; but, everyone else in the Pantheon was kind enough to paint pictures on the rock to help kill the time.

By the noon hour she'd changed her mind on Chinese and opted for a restaurant with an outside patio where she asked for a menu and glass of ice tea. After perusing the options and raising her hand to let the waiter know, Eris ordered a grilled chicken breast with a salad and a soft spoken, 'Thank you."

While waiting for her meal, since she was absolutely starving by now, the only option left was people watching. There was always plenty of people to watch. For now, her eye went to the stranger who had a hard time getting a good seat which made her chuckle.

"You know, the patio chairs are padded. You'll be fine."

For her part, there was just a wee little glance from her left eye before giving her head a shake as if he was possibly a bit deranged. She met those types of folks all the time. They fall in love at the drop of a hat whether they know the person or not. Which is why she shifted her chair so he was only allowed to look at her back. Thankfully her dinner arrived. And, like most people who have a working cellphone, that's where her attention went.

In order to keep the conversation quiet, she tapped in the messages back and forth to the Goddess, Artemis. The two had the same wit and same penchant for getting in trouble. Her message.."This guys looking at me a lot."

Artemis just had to ask. "Sexy, cute or hit the road jack" Fat or skinny' What color hair" Dark" ...is he tall?"

She'd just took a bite of her salad and made sure to eat it nice and slow before offering a muted. "So so..He's not a Brenton."

"No one will ever be a Brenton. ..but we move on." Artemis stole a tomato; but, it wasn't to eat so much as to throw a an unsuspecting passerby.

A little chuckle slipped free as the poor kid was hit in the chest. "If I'm thinking what you're thinking, then I'm really thinking that you need to stop thinking. I don't want or need a man right now. Period." Her period mean it's final. End of discussion.

"Alright.." Artemis said with a sigh. "I'd give him a go; but, I'm not really into that kind of thing. For the record, the only reason you're eating and drinking regular food instead of Ambrosia is that Zeus believes you'll get so miserable among these people that you'll beg to go back to Olympus. Then again, he's done everything else in his power to drag your butt back and, being so damn hard headed it's not working at all. Don't you fear for what he might do to you?"

Was a good question with an easy answer. Still typing along for privacy. "He did not make me to be fearful. That's his mistake. He made me to cause fear. Right now, I'm not in the mood. If he wants me back, he'll have to come get me." With that, she said her goodbyes and clicked the phone off.

"Beautiful day don't you think?" Now giving the dark haired man the time of day.

Was she being obtuse" Oh to be sure. There were few times in her life where Eris did not emit that lingering feeling of haughtiness or just plain aggravation for what may seem like no reason what so ever. For her, that was a pretty standard response. She ran hot and cold. One minute kind and sweet. The other a boiling pot of seething anger and rage. Being as she was pretty much the melting pot of all things Zeus couldn't find to put anywhere else, it was no surprise she was often a tangled mess if left to her own devises for too long.

There were times she could feel the cold icy hands of Zeus coiling his fingers around her neck even though no one was there. He treated her like a toy. At the same time, she knew he feared her. When one puts all the unwanted, unneeded and unknowns into one box which Pandora tried hard to keep under wraps, there's a high chance there might be a mishap or two.

"They have really good cheeseburgers here."

She glanced towards the gentleman again. Had she ever had a cheeseburger" "They are? ..Perhaps I'll have one of those instead. Thank you." Giving him some money for his help. "Perhaps our paths will cross again."