Who is this person I see before me" Is it me or a shadow of what I used to be? Had I been anything to begin with' Am I anything now" All I see is an empty person with no history and no future.

There is no regret for this life, but there is the question: did I live it' Was I the person I was meant to be or was I simply hobbling along in an existence that moved much faster than I ever could" Did I try hard enough to live to love and did I love to live"

Was I a true person' Were the smiles and good cheer really me or was I the emptiness that consumes me now" Did I hide the truth to everyone, including myself" The words had no meaning if there was no truth to them. Perhaps I am not what they believed me to be, or perhaps they were not what I wanted them to be.

I knew many people, but did they know me" I loved many people, but did they love me" Perhaps I was what some had whispered amongst the crowd: stupid. Was I stupid" Stupidity is but a perception, but it was never mine. Every being had a purpose, a beauty and intellect, but not every being showed what they really were. Why did I hide myself"

I was scared, but to be scared was flawed; it was a crack in the perfect glass and I could not afford to be the slightest bit broken. Am I broken now" Am I flawed" What has happened" Was it them and their words" Were they really friends or was it my hidden fears and unspoken feelings" They might not have seen how everything came to hurt, but perhaps they did not care or I did not see their care. Was I blind to what was before me"

Who am I" Who is this person I see before me" I do not think she is me for she seems lost and broken. There is no color, nor life to her. Perhaps she is better left to let the darkness consume her and fade away to be nothing more than a shadow cast to a wall. Perhaps the sleep will take her from this place of emptiness and no more she will be. Who is this person"is she me?

Taneth turned from the mirror as she coughed into her woolen blanket and shuffled from the mirror she had stood before. Her thoughts, like her heart rate, increased rapidly as the fever overtook her. She stumbled to her bed and fell upon the mattress then sleep came quickly to claim her as her inner spark was diminishing and a darker energy was settling into the pit of her stomach. She was getting sick as a result of her lack of self protection and she had been keeping herself isolated more and more as her memories became lost in the haze of her feverish mind. —————————————————

Note: These posts may not cover the full extent of what happened to Taneth and majority of the posts may just be what is going through her head as she gets worse or better.

I see the people look at me as I stand by the door. They look as if they know, they know my life, but they know nothing. Some seem to look have a look I do not recognize and they call me by my name, but I do not know them and I do not think I want to know them right now.

Some of the people are loud, some are big, and some tell stories of my life as if they were a friend, but I know that I do not have friends here. I know that I am alone in this cold land, where everyone moves so fast that they do not stop to see the lost, confused, or sick. So many people, though, seem happy and in love, which brings a small measure of hope and light back to me, but it mostly makes me want to run, hide, and eventually leave this cold land.

Should I decide to leave, where would I go and how would I get there" I have little and can give nothing. I am without a friend and there is no one to turn to for help, so I will have to wait and escape when I can.

To escape would bring a salvation I cannot understand or speak of. It would bring relief upon a weakened body, mind, and spirit and it would give me a place to fall in peace. It would need to be away from the noise, the people, and the many eyes upon me that I have come to feel uncomfortable around. I will not return to the Red Dragon any longer after this night to avoid such people.

Taneth thought this as she made her way from the backdoor to fetch herself a glass of water. She continued these thoughts as she eventually made her way to a table and sat. Some people looked on in concern and others spoke to her, but she tried desperately to not give them much notice until He came. The man that offered her a way out and for that she would listen"