"It's going to take me years," Lirssa muttered as she looked at the credit to that separate account. The special account she opened a month ago. The one that got three quarters of her income from the ship runs with Ansel. Ship work for a new ship. She tried to justify it that way, and tried not to think of what she could be doing for other people with that money. Investing in the future, she told herself.
The future. Since when did she think much past the next month, week, day' She was supposed to be a shooting star — bright and then gone. Of course, having learned in her lessons with Mr Jolly just what shooting stars really were had put a dint in that image of herself. Being something close to twenty years old had snuffed that image right out. Like a shooting star.
The hum of the streets and sky traffic rattled into Stars End Bar every time the doors opened. Lirssa pushed a lock of hair from her eyes as she stared at the transmission port and that number staring right back. Her drink, a simple grape juice, sat dripping condensation to puddle around the bottom of the glass on the table. She should finish it. It cost. Not a lot, but something. Waste not and all that rot.
The number was not changing, and she had already promised herself that all other income — particularly from the theater — would go to the children. It was a throat closing temptation to just transfer some to the account. Just a little to get her that much closer. How much time did she really have anyway"
And that cut both ways. How much time did she have to give to the children, to set up the supports for the time she was gone — whenever that was. Tomorrow. Twenty years. Fifty' She had to make choices now. Promises made, even to herself, could not be easily broken.
Closing down the transmission port, she pushed it back and reached for her glass. Her fingers felt the cool drips wiggle across her skin. She watched as the trails of moisture were disrupted by her touch. A little unexpected chaos she brought to that microcosm of water. All the chaos of the world she grew up in, were there greater, mightier hands reaching in to cause it all" Was it just the way life went to find a new path when the road before is smashed and burned away"
"You going to drink that?" Ansel cut into her thoughts. He sat at the table across from her with his beard newly trimmed and eyes bright.
Lirssa drew in a deep breath to squash her startled, racing heart. She found one of her perfected smiles in muscle memory and even added a soft note of laughter. "I will. Eventually. Hate for it to go to waste."
"Got us a trip next week. You going to be able to head out by noon?"
Down to the business of making that special account grow by infinitesimal amounts, Lirssa nodded. "Sure."
"Good. Easy run, sorry, but pay is pay."
"Yes," Lirssa nodded and sipped her juice, "pay is pay."
The future. Since when did she think much past the next month, week, day' She was supposed to be a shooting star — bright and then gone. Of course, having learned in her lessons with Mr Jolly just what shooting stars really were had put a dint in that image of herself. Being something close to twenty years old had snuffed that image right out. Like a shooting star.
The hum of the streets and sky traffic rattled into Stars End Bar every time the doors opened. Lirssa pushed a lock of hair from her eyes as she stared at the transmission port and that number staring right back. Her drink, a simple grape juice, sat dripping condensation to puddle around the bottom of the glass on the table. She should finish it. It cost. Not a lot, but something. Waste not and all that rot.
The number was not changing, and she had already promised herself that all other income — particularly from the theater — would go to the children. It was a throat closing temptation to just transfer some to the account. Just a little to get her that much closer. How much time did she really have anyway"
And that cut both ways. How much time did she have to give to the children, to set up the supports for the time she was gone — whenever that was. Tomorrow. Twenty years. Fifty' She had to make choices now. Promises made, even to herself, could not be easily broken.
Closing down the transmission port, she pushed it back and reached for her glass. Her fingers felt the cool drips wiggle across her skin. She watched as the trails of moisture were disrupted by her touch. A little unexpected chaos she brought to that microcosm of water. All the chaos of the world she grew up in, were there greater, mightier hands reaching in to cause it all" Was it just the way life went to find a new path when the road before is smashed and burned away"
"You going to drink that?" Ansel cut into her thoughts. He sat at the table across from her with his beard newly trimmed and eyes bright.
Lirssa drew in a deep breath to squash her startled, racing heart. She found one of her perfected smiles in muscle memory and even added a soft note of laughter. "I will. Eventually. Hate for it to go to waste."
"Got us a trip next week. You going to be able to head out by noon?"
Down to the business of making that special account grow by infinitesimal amounts, Lirssa nodded. "Sure."
"Good. Easy run, sorry, but pay is pay."
"Yes," Lirssa nodded and sipped her juice, "pay is pay."