Topic: Letters to the Ministry of Citizen Resources

Ehzoterik

Date: 2010-06-13 03:25 EST
On the morning of Sunday, June 13th, a letter arrives on the desk of one Brian Ravenlock, Minister of Citizen Resources. The envelope the letter itself is contained in is plain and white, but the address on the front is written in bright purple crayon. Coincidentally, the body of the letter itself is also written in bright purple crayon.

Whether or not the Rhy'Din Postal Service (if there officially is one) delivers mail on Sundays is completely irrelevant. Some how that letter managed to find its way to Mr. Ravenlock's personal office, and was waiting for him cheerful as could be on his desk whenever he arrived to read it. The contents of the letter itself, again written in bright purple crayon, reads as follows:

Dear Meester Ravenlock,

It has come to my attention that the trolls of our fair city are ignorant of the proper use of toilets. Recently I have learned that instead of making proper use of public facilities, the trolls of this city are peeing on our couch cushions and in our buckets. Also, the garden gnomes are making piddle in our bushes, and gnomes spread Hepatitis. Something should be done about this.

As the Minister of Citizen Resources, it is your duty to see to it that the trolls and gnomes of this city become properly educated on the appropriate use of sanitary facilities. The people of Rhy'Din suggest the construction of a new reform school that specializes in the expedient teaching of more acceptable and healthy hygiene practices. These schools should also offer a life-time supply of waffles as a reward for participation in the program. But not giant waffles because they eat people.

Love and kisses,

Ehzoterik VonArcanum Tempestas

P.S. Tara was probed by aliens, because the gnomes sold her out. You should look into that too.

Brian Ravenlock

Date: 2010-06-16 11:54 EST
He had found it alright...It stood out, like Jenai in a pack of mothers watching their kids at the park...Like Jade in a sweet shoppe, like Icer in a— well, you get it.

It stood out.

A faint smile took form, as he swore it was another letter of demands, from his daughters, or more so, from Kerri. Perhaps, another ransom note, akin to the time, they took each right footed sock of his, and to top it off, hid his ties, as well. Or perhaps the time, they kidnapped Jes, and held him in Yotsuba's Cake Shoppe. While that was not bad, for the sweet loving Taru Taru, who mind you, was a 3rd degree black mage, versed in bad assery...What was bad, was the fact they intended to caramel and feather, him and then more so, set him loose within the market place, after a direct feed of nearly a dozen pixie sticks...So yeah, Brian could only imagine what was within this letter. So he opened the envelope, unfolded the letter, and began to read.

Eyes widened indeed...A raised brow, as well...Yet he continued to read, and re-read. This...This letter, was..

"I had no idea," was all the minister could say..

With that, he sat down in earnest and penned a reply:



Dearest Miss Ehzoterik VonArcanum Tempestas,



First and foremost I want to sincerely thank you, for enlightening me, as you have done so. Honestly, I did not realize how far the scope of this, truly was and am thankful you have decided to write me in regards to this. Let me start by saying, I am indeed concerned by what you have shared with me, and more so, have begun work on a series of contingencies, to counter these issues. I admit it will be an undertaking indeed, but as you have so shown me, it is one we need to address, decisively.

I have spoken with the command staff of the Rhy'din Emergency Medical Service, and have been assured, that we stand ready to deal with any possible outbreak of Hepatitis, and more so, have spoken with the command staff of Animal Control, in regards to countering the bush piddling, by means of spray applications, to affected areas, to disuade the gnomes. Also the possibility of issuing a litter box ordinance, citing garden gnome owners, to provide said litter boxes for any gnomes they own.

This however is a start.

In regards to the school, that has also been presented and is being looked into, however I do not think we can offer a 'lifetime' supply of waffles, as many of our waffle houses would no doubt suffer a blow to business, by not being able to sell said waffles. The waffle industry has taking a bit of a beating, due to the influx of 'Bar B Que Pop Tart' stands, and other various eateries.Not to mention the bad press created by the 'Giant Waffle scare of '09'...A sad day that was, and those poor, waffley devoured souls...Pardon me, I need a moment...Alright, thank you. However, I assure you, we will work this out.

In the mean time, I would like to ask something of you.

I would like to invite you, to Yotsuba's Cake Shoppe, for a cup of coffee, some pastries and a bit of talk. I am very intrigued, and would like to speak with you more so, in regards to ideas, you may wish to share, and more so, share some of mine with you, in regards to the gnomes, and trolls. I am readily available, so please let me know, as I sincerely look foward to it.

Sincerely,

Brian Alexander McDineen-Ravenlock Minister of Citizen Resources, City of Rhy'din

PS: I have also caught wind of gnomes selling people out, and will make sure it is looked into. Perhaps, we may speak of that further, when we meet, if you wish.

The letter was folded, and set inside an envelope. Stamped, sealed and addressed to Lady Tempestas. It was then handed to a rathr trusted postal delivery boy, whom Brian knew would see to it's delivery, while not invading the lady's privacy. The letter would simply be found in turn.

Now Brian waited, to see what would come of this.