I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Into The Ocean - Blue October
She sat staring at the flames as the played within the hearth. The room a silent tomb for none but her even stayed in this wing of Gharnholme. She hadn't tried to sleep and likely wouldn't. She didn't care for the dreams and usually went for days on end, until exhaustion set in and then would collapse. Only then did she find rest without the phantoms to haunt her. Those images lingering well beyond waking to pick at the tender places in her psyche.
Tasha no longer believed in sweet dreams. Much like Happy Ever After's, True Love, and Fairy Godmothers, those things she knew didn't exist. She had researched all of those very carefully. Stories about them were pure hype. Prince Charming had dated many princesses (Just look at all the stories he turns up in! Sheesh!) and he did a lot better turned into a toad. Snow White preferred Dwarves and Mother Goose was a mental case if any asked her. Humpty Dumpty Bah!
She had been in love a few times too. The last one, well he had been in her heart for years and look what that got her? Nearly dead that's what and she still didn't know why. He just went all Demonoid on her and destroyed her trust in seconds along with shattering her already scarred heart. It had made her realize one simple, sad fact. True Love, Sweet Dreams and Fairy Tales with those garishly dressed Godmothers, were all full of bull chips.
Leaning for a moment, with one leg uncurling, she tossed the message from her father into the hungry fire; The flames coming to life briefly and consumed it swiftly, greedily, and leaving an ashen husk once done. She had been pondering her choices. Her father wanted her to return to the Lands. A simple thing but for her, it wasn't so easy.
Tasha had never considered herself special. Even now, she often felt confused by the behaviors of her family. Her skills unable to help in any way shape or form with what they both seemed to be suffering with. Aunt Sid and Bel were leaking power like crazy and both hiding secrets from everyone else. What they were she didn't really know and didn't think she ever would. They had gone missing and she hadn't even had the ability anymore to find them. That part of things really bothered her.
All in all, she realized she wasn't really needed. She didn't have the capacity to keep up with the rest. Raids and the like was one thing, but only small drops in an ocean of woes. She could talk to the dead, guide them to the next phase in the life cycle. She could ask them to aid her, but they had limits and couldn't find everything or everyone she hunted for.
Dragging her thoughts away from that, she rested her chin on bent knees and heaved a sigh. She had her own guilt to come to terms with. If the creature they had fought the other night was one of Daug's, she had to carry some blame. Of course she had no way of knowing he would warp his creations into something so monstrous or deadly. The last one she known about and had a major hand in freeing from the bonds Daug had made, looked pretty normal but for the wings he had. Wings he could glamour from others seeing them.
One little word change, that was all she had done. A simple thing, believing he would make more like the first. Of course, she hadn't looked beyond Daug's insanity. Her abilities hadn't ever been geared towards seeing into the future. Now he might be unleashing those beasts upon the realms. Not only that, but as the power of those he made grew, so would their will to control their own fate. It was that which really had her stressing now. IF they were his, there was no telling what may happen but none of it was likely to be good.
Tugging the pendant he had given her out of a pocket, she inspected it again, having done so already on several occasions. She had didn't know how to use it. He hadn't bothered to explain so that meant she likely was supposed to figure it out. One of those annoying games the old Lich liked to play on her. Muttering to herself, she peered at the tiny words, seeing only a blur etched deep into the hard metal it was made of.
One thing was certain, sitting here behind dozens of wards, and many of those designed to keep Daugie out, she wasn't likely to get a hit. Of course that meant leaving and she wasn't ready to do that just yet either. She was at the very end and really needed to sleep. The only time she got moody and maudlin was often now. Thoughts too became scattered and she had a hard time speaking and making much sense to boot. All of which were not good things when facing one that liked to talk in riddles to start with.
So, with that in her mind now, she unfolded her petite form from the chair and made herself ready for a long nap. Silvery violet eyes were already dull and shadowed, and she felt a little shaky to, which meant sleep would come fast and if lucky, she would dodge those irritating dreams.
Sometimes it worked, but sometimes it didn't. As with everything lately, it was a hit or miss prospect, but either way, she had to rest the body and the mind so she was sharp enough to handle what ever madness old Daugie tossed her way.
In minutes she was out like a light and sinking fast into deep, exhausted sleep.
Into The Ocean - Blue October
She sat staring at the flames as the played within the hearth. The room a silent tomb for none but her even stayed in this wing of Gharnholme. She hadn't tried to sleep and likely wouldn't. She didn't care for the dreams and usually went for days on end, until exhaustion set in and then would collapse. Only then did she find rest without the phantoms to haunt her. Those images lingering well beyond waking to pick at the tender places in her psyche.
Tasha no longer believed in sweet dreams. Much like Happy Ever After's, True Love, and Fairy Godmothers, those things she knew didn't exist. She had researched all of those very carefully. Stories about them were pure hype. Prince Charming had dated many princesses (Just look at all the stories he turns up in! Sheesh!) and he did a lot better turned into a toad. Snow White preferred Dwarves and Mother Goose was a mental case if any asked her. Humpty Dumpty Bah!
She had been in love a few times too. The last one, well he had been in her heart for years and look what that got her? Nearly dead that's what and she still didn't know why. He just went all Demonoid on her and destroyed her trust in seconds along with shattering her already scarred heart. It had made her realize one simple, sad fact. True Love, Sweet Dreams and Fairy Tales with those garishly dressed Godmothers, were all full of bull chips.
Leaning for a moment, with one leg uncurling, she tossed the message from her father into the hungry fire; The flames coming to life briefly and consumed it swiftly, greedily, and leaving an ashen husk once done. She had been pondering her choices. Her father wanted her to return to the Lands. A simple thing but for her, it wasn't so easy.
Tasha had never considered herself special. Even now, she often felt confused by the behaviors of her family. Her skills unable to help in any way shape or form with what they both seemed to be suffering with. Aunt Sid and Bel were leaking power like crazy and both hiding secrets from everyone else. What they were she didn't really know and didn't think she ever would. They had gone missing and she hadn't even had the ability anymore to find them. That part of things really bothered her.
All in all, she realized she wasn't really needed. She didn't have the capacity to keep up with the rest. Raids and the like was one thing, but only small drops in an ocean of woes. She could talk to the dead, guide them to the next phase in the life cycle. She could ask them to aid her, but they had limits and couldn't find everything or everyone she hunted for.
Dragging her thoughts away from that, she rested her chin on bent knees and heaved a sigh. She had her own guilt to come to terms with. If the creature they had fought the other night was one of Daug's, she had to carry some blame. Of course she had no way of knowing he would warp his creations into something so monstrous or deadly. The last one she known about and had a major hand in freeing from the bonds Daug had made, looked pretty normal but for the wings he had. Wings he could glamour from others seeing them.
One little word change, that was all she had done. A simple thing, believing he would make more like the first. Of course, she hadn't looked beyond Daug's insanity. Her abilities hadn't ever been geared towards seeing into the future. Now he might be unleashing those beasts upon the realms. Not only that, but as the power of those he made grew, so would their will to control their own fate. It was that which really had her stressing now. IF they were his, there was no telling what may happen but none of it was likely to be good.
Tugging the pendant he had given her out of a pocket, she inspected it again, having done so already on several occasions. She had didn't know how to use it. He hadn't bothered to explain so that meant she likely was supposed to figure it out. One of those annoying games the old Lich liked to play on her. Muttering to herself, she peered at the tiny words, seeing only a blur etched deep into the hard metal it was made of.
One thing was certain, sitting here behind dozens of wards, and many of those designed to keep Daugie out, she wasn't likely to get a hit. Of course that meant leaving and she wasn't ready to do that just yet either. She was at the very end and really needed to sleep. The only time she got moody and maudlin was often now. Thoughts too became scattered and she had a hard time speaking and making much sense to boot. All of which were not good things when facing one that liked to talk in riddles to start with.
So, with that in her mind now, she unfolded her petite form from the chair and made herself ready for a long nap. Silvery violet eyes were already dull and shadowed, and she felt a little shaky to, which meant sleep would come fast and if lucky, she would dodge those irritating dreams.
Sometimes it worked, but sometimes it didn't. As with everything lately, it was a hit or miss prospect, but either way, she had to rest the body and the mind so she was sharp enough to handle what ever madness old Daugie tossed her way.
In minutes she was out like a light and sinking fast into deep, exhausted sleep.