30-12-04
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I narrowly escaped answering my family's questions about my time at school and why I hate the place. They accepted the stories about missing them and the bullies. This much was the truth. I don't know how they would react to what I did while there. I don't know if they would accept my side profession, or how they would take my relationship with you. I'm not so much worried about the other's reactions as much as disappointing Kitian.
I've always looked up to my older sister as my hero. She alone seems to be the most stable of our family. Even I have my flaws, though masks they be? People wish to see me as a child, so I do not often disabuse them of the notion. How could they know the weight I carry in my heart"
I don't know if I can tell them about you, m"love. Of how you cherished me, how you protected me, of how my tormentors killed you and how I took my revenge on them. Your blood is on my hands, beloved. I fear they will never feel clean again.
My lineage had been no protection from the bullies and thugs that resided at that school. My back is still laced with scars from their torments. You saved me from them, gave me my life back. You showed me how to defend myself, how to fight back. You then showed me darker things, how to hide from others and strike at them from the shadows. You showed me what love could be like. You were so kind and gentle with me in those times. It was like you wanted to court me. You never tried to get me in your bed, though I'm sure now I would have said yes. Still you taught me much, chief amongst those respect and confidence. I excelled in magic, healing and shadow, though my tutors would have been horrified at the latter.
Then they stole you from me. The thugs and bullies had their ways. They looked down on my family because we were Merchants. We were still beneath them. We had been ambushed while in the gardens of your home. One had grabbed me and held me out of the way. The rest ambushed and beat you within an inch of your life. You had injured more than one of them before falling. I fear what they would have done to me if it were not for my talent. My magic came to my aid that night, summoning a shadow creature. In truth I, to this day, wonder if you did not have a hand in it's creation. Our assailants fled leaving me to grieve over you.
It hurt to hear how much you regretted not consummating what we felt physically, how you sought to protect me from reproach by keeping our union chaste. It tore me apart to hear how much you loved me only to watch your life's blood drain into the ground. And in the terrible instant, the sweet child that had come here at the insistence of her family had died. She had been replaced with the creature she is today. The innocence is an act. My innocence was stripped cruelly from me. So I did the one thing I could do, one of the things you had taught me. I stripped their lives away one by one.
This was not hard to do. A mishap here, an accident there until all but one remained. That one, the instigator, fled to his family. He knew I was coming for him but he had no way to prove it, no way to stop me.
The school had to learn as well. They hid the beatings from my family. They did not want an incident with my parents. To be honest, they did not want my older siblings coming in and raising havoc. Kar and Morg would have been down in a heartbeat hurting those that hurt me. Kitian would have razed the grounds with her magic. Molly likes to make things that explode. The school earned a reputation for dark and mysterious things. The shadow creature that had appeared the night you died became my hand as well as my protector.
I love my siblings, but I didn't want them to know what happened either. I was too ashamed to admit it to anyone but you. But then you saw everything from your shadows. You were my knight.
I like to think I am safe again, at home. I am with my family and I am glad to relive who I was before the school once again. I think Morg was teasing me last name when he acted like he didn't remember me. But then he was well into his cups and I had grown. I was not the child I was when I left.
No, safety is but an illusion and the shadow has not left my side in all of this. Sometimes I can sense things from it. Emotions, concern....even love. It is like it is an extension of you.
Why did you have to leave me, Onyx"
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Teardrops fell like rain as the young woman laid her head on the desk and cried. Perhaps the first time she truly mourned his passing. Never before did she have the time to reflect on what his death had meant to her. Sobs echoed through the darkened room as she cried herself to sleep.
A single shadow lengthed and grew to life within the room. As it moved it took on the form of a man who was covered head to toe in inky darkness. The form crotched down besides the sleeping girl and appeared to wrap itself around her as if to comfort and protect.
************************************************** *******
I narrowly escaped answering my family's questions about my time at school and why I hate the place. They accepted the stories about missing them and the bullies. This much was the truth. I don't know how they would react to what I did while there. I don't know if they would accept my side profession, or how they would take my relationship with you. I'm not so much worried about the other's reactions as much as disappointing Kitian.
I've always looked up to my older sister as my hero. She alone seems to be the most stable of our family. Even I have my flaws, though masks they be? People wish to see me as a child, so I do not often disabuse them of the notion. How could they know the weight I carry in my heart"
I don't know if I can tell them about you, m"love. Of how you cherished me, how you protected me, of how my tormentors killed you and how I took my revenge on them. Your blood is on my hands, beloved. I fear they will never feel clean again.
My lineage had been no protection from the bullies and thugs that resided at that school. My back is still laced with scars from their torments. You saved me from them, gave me my life back. You showed me how to defend myself, how to fight back. You then showed me darker things, how to hide from others and strike at them from the shadows. You showed me what love could be like. You were so kind and gentle with me in those times. It was like you wanted to court me. You never tried to get me in your bed, though I'm sure now I would have said yes. Still you taught me much, chief amongst those respect and confidence. I excelled in magic, healing and shadow, though my tutors would have been horrified at the latter.
Then they stole you from me. The thugs and bullies had their ways. They looked down on my family because we were Merchants. We were still beneath them. We had been ambushed while in the gardens of your home. One had grabbed me and held me out of the way. The rest ambushed and beat you within an inch of your life. You had injured more than one of them before falling. I fear what they would have done to me if it were not for my talent. My magic came to my aid that night, summoning a shadow creature. In truth I, to this day, wonder if you did not have a hand in it's creation. Our assailants fled leaving me to grieve over you.
It hurt to hear how much you regretted not consummating what we felt physically, how you sought to protect me from reproach by keeping our union chaste. It tore me apart to hear how much you loved me only to watch your life's blood drain into the ground. And in the terrible instant, the sweet child that had come here at the insistence of her family had died. She had been replaced with the creature she is today. The innocence is an act. My innocence was stripped cruelly from me. So I did the one thing I could do, one of the things you had taught me. I stripped their lives away one by one.
This was not hard to do. A mishap here, an accident there until all but one remained. That one, the instigator, fled to his family. He knew I was coming for him but he had no way to prove it, no way to stop me.
The school had to learn as well. They hid the beatings from my family. They did not want an incident with my parents. To be honest, they did not want my older siblings coming in and raising havoc. Kar and Morg would have been down in a heartbeat hurting those that hurt me. Kitian would have razed the grounds with her magic. Molly likes to make things that explode. The school earned a reputation for dark and mysterious things. The shadow creature that had appeared the night you died became my hand as well as my protector.
I love my siblings, but I didn't want them to know what happened either. I was too ashamed to admit it to anyone but you. But then you saw everything from your shadows. You were my knight.
I like to think I am safe again, at home. I am with my family and I am glad to relive who I was before the school once again. I think Morg was teasing me last name when he acted like he didn't remember me. But then he was well into his cups and I had grown. I was not the child I was when I left.
No, safety is but an illusion and the shadow has not left my side in all of this. Sometimes I can sense things from it. Emotions, concern....even love. It is like it is an extension of you.
Why did you have to leave me, Onyx"
************************************************** *******
Teardrops fell like rain as the young woman laid her head on the desk and cried. Perhaps the first time she truly mourned his passing. Never before did she have the time to reflect on what his death had meant to her. Sobs echoed through the darkened room as she cried herself to sleep.
A single shadow lengthed and grew to life within the room. As it moved it took on the form of a man who was covered head to toe in inky darkness. The form crotched down besides the sleeping girl and appeared to wrap itself around her as if to comfort and protect.